To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

It's your baby so I guess yanbu even if I don't really understand it myself. I love babies and always get the urge to stroke their adorable little faces but I never would unless I knew 100% that the parents were ok with it

I also had a preemie, so I agree that it is not nice to touch strange babies without permission. Even if a baby is of normal age, it may be immunocompromised.

Yanbu. Nothing worse than strangers touching your baby. Dont care if it makes me sound rude, irrational. If I ask you not to touch MY child I expect you to do as I say. I dont understand why people think they're entitled to do things like that!

You sound completely neurotic. Where’s the harm. You’ve completely overreacted.

'Yes you are'
'No I'm not' response

Seems a pretty even split to me actually.

YANBU. I think this might be a generational thing.

I would never touch another person's baby without asking the parent if it was ok first. It's just fucking courtesy.

Maybe the YABU lot should ask themselves why they're so fixated on touching random babies they don't know.

I get that you don’t want people touching your baby but it’s a really common thing. People just love babies. Used to get it with my two but it doesn’t bother me too much unless I can see they are noticeabley grubby.

I think it’s a cultural thing as well. I come from two “it takes a village” cultures and I loved people worshipping my babies.

I don’t need or want a village to raise or worship my children

Jesus Christ .... the world is going mad ... their are people dying in their hundreds and thousands around the world and an act meant in kindness gets slapped down in the west .... when did we start raising such self absorbed over protective over reactionary adults... billions of babies have been touched by complete strangers over and over ... I think it’s fair t say that if you had a sickly child then one could assume you wouldn’t have them out in public in the first place surely.... just enjoy your good fortune ... a healthy baby born in a safe environment with amazing health care options .... I wouldn’t touch someone’s young baby either but I also wouldn’t cause a drama over someone acting with good intentions ...

Agree BertrandRussell I can't imagine even trying to be that protective over my kids in Spain! Strangers give affection and make a fuss of the mum too, I think it's beautiful.

What an outburst of hyperbole and indignation @Ferret27
It’s unwarranted touching not people trafficking or modern slavery
Op is within her rights to ask strangers to refrain from touching her baby

YANBU - everyone reacts differently after having a baby and emotions work differently. I think if you asked and they didn't stop, that isn't fair.
I got very frustrated when people overheld my baby and I know some people don't mind this at all. Everyones different and people need to respect that. I think it's maternal instincts.

Ferret27 I find your comment shocking. For a time my child wasn’t allowed in public or busy places due to her lack of immune system, are you saying that now she can be in public but I don’t like people just touching her I should keep her locked away? I find that an awful view actually. Sickly babies and children should be allowed out and about without fear of being touched by potentially unwell or not very clean strangers. I’m not saying everyone is dirty but that I don’t know what they have touched and if hey are out then clearly they can’t go and wash their hands before touching her.

I’ve got to say that I find this so sad and disheartening. People have just become so fearful and insular in this country and it’s having such a negative effect on any sense of community that once existed. I live my life by the ethos of what people’s intentions are - sometimes people get things wrong but if they mean well then I think it’s really sad to attack them. And hasn’t research shown that exposure to germs from a baby is the best thing for immune systems (obviously not including children who are immune compromised)?

YANBU..... I think it’s odd to think it’s ok to touch a child without parental consent. Plus we’re entering flu season, and hands carry a lot of germs. Wouldn’t want a stranger touching my baby.

Really well put Knickerthief 👏👏👏

If you don’t want your baby to get ill, maybe read up on how the immune system develops?

There are some bonkers responses on here.
Poor OP!
YANBU!

This is ridiculous. People love to see and talk to and maybe touch a newborn baby. They have been doing it forever. I doubt any baby ever has ever been damaged by it.

How can we promote kindness, and the love and support of the community when some people are so freaky.

Get a grip first time mum.

I think it’s unfair of people to say that a healthy baby would not be harmed, that’s just not true. Measles is on the rise in the UK, we’re about to enter the autumn/winter period so cold/flu virus and RSV are more likely, as well as the cold sore virus which can lead to neonatal herpes - all of which are known killers of babies, and not just immunosuppressed, premature, or newborn babies, there have been cases of otherwise healthy, 3 month old+ babies dying of these diseases that they’ve contracted from other people. I would personally rather be a bit ‘precious’ and rude and still have my child breathing.
Chances are this lady touching OPs baby on the cheek and leg will have done no harm whatsoever, but as she reached into the pram OP had no way of knowing whether the lady was going to touch baby’s face, hand, leg... so I understand how her reaction may have been rude, but she was probably shocked and a little concerned. The lady also didn’t ask, so would not know if the child had health issues, and it’s too late once the damage has been done. Maybe it’s because there’s more coverage of these risks to babies in the media now than generations gone by, so parents are more aware now. Regardless OP is the mother and what she says goes, why should some strangers wishes or feelings come above a mother doing what she thinks is best for her child?!

What a bellicose post @ferret27 clearly annoyed your handwringing about west gorn mad has been ignored

YANBU I don’t think I have ever touched a strangers baby, especially their face. I have a 5 month old (3rd time mum) and my friends 7yr old ds kept stroking my babies face, I was mildly irritated by it as I think face touching is a bit much but when I smelt one day that her ds hands smelt like poo, I was mortified!! A very awkward situation, I’ve managed to keep my baby away from him since without having to make a big deal out of it.

Aaaargh .... you know that’s not what I’m saying ..... I think Knickerthief expressed it perfectly ... this thread isn’t about a sick child.....common sense applies in these instances... this is about taken the warmth out of normal human interaction .... like I said I wouldn’t touch someone’s very young baby but I really don’t think it warrants the hysteria several posters expressed if a well meaning person touches a hand or a leg ....