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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable with regards to Drag?

382 replies

ShawshanksRedemption · 19/09/2019 18:00

Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable with Drag?

AIUI Drag came about because women's roles were originally played by men on the stage, and from there it's evolved to have pantomime dames, which is a caricature of women. Drag has now become an art form, a performance, with programmes like RuPaul's Drag Race showing how popular it is, but at it's core it's still a caricature, it's still a parody of women, and it's gaudy, brash and the wit and put downs waspish!

I can't help but feel a bit uncomfortable about it all, maybe it's something I'm reading too much into, but effectively it's men aping women in a very unattractive way (and I'm not just talking the make up here).

Anyone else feel the same? Or should I just embrace it and get over myself?

OP posts:
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mauvaisereputation · 21/09/2019 12:22

I think it depends hugely on the performer. There definitely are sexist drag artists and performances. But there are also some very intelligent and socially conscious artists. I have a friend who is in the London 'arty' drag scene. "Drag kings" (women as men) are very much the thing these days (and there are some AMAZING ones), and there are also women in female drag (I forget the name for this). It's all about questioning gender and its signifiers rather than just putting a skirt on for a laugh.

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 21/09/2019 12:25

Hate it. It's so 'in your face', and as a PP has said, it apes women unflatteringly.
Unfortunately they get away with it because it's not 'right on' to be anti-drag.

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 21/09/2019 12:26

there are also some very intelligent and socially conscious artists
In all my years on this planet I've NEVER seen drag done this way.

mauvaisereputation · 21/09/2019 12:26

Drag kings

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 21/09/2019 14:07

Are paedophiles likely to take up drag as a way of accessing young children? Yes.

So are scout leaders tbf.

My daily reminder that maleness is a disease.

Dear God in heaven, there are some real man-haters on here. Hmm

I have to say it's not my cup of tea but I don't get offended by it. If a bloke wants to dress up like that - meh, I'd rather that than them going around fighting and starting wars.
Live and let live 🤷‍♀️

HowManyToes · 21/09/2019 14:55

How strange, I was just having this conversation with a colleague yesterday. YANBU I hate it, it makes a mockery of women.

LaVieilleHarpie · 21/09/2019 19:11

Dear God in heaven, there are some real man-haters on here.

gloats and beams with unabashed pride

Skysblue · 21/09/2019 21:21

I feel about drag the way a lot of black people feel about “blackface”.

LayLar360 · 21/09/2019 22:26

There are plenty of queens from RPDR that are artistic and socially conscious.

Not one of my favourite queens but I loved Sasha's rose petal reveal media1.tenor.com/images/c32d7007f2178e7b61f903a1b258c4a8/tenor.gif?itemid=9046427

There are elements of the scene that could be improved though, I think objecting to 'fishy' is entirely fair.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 22/09/2019 01:05

"There are plenty of queens from RPDR that are artistic and socially conscious"

So what? That doesn't change the fact that what they're doing dehumanises women. Roman Polanski is artistic and socially conscious and also a child rapist so.

VerbenaGirl · 22/09/2019 01:17

My teenage DD has got very into drag, so we recently went to see a show together (including some of the Queens from RPDR). Have to say that it was of the most gender equal, liberating, comfortable and entertaining events I have ever been to. A totally new experience for me, but one that I wouldn’t hesitate to repeat and happy that my teen is.

Nat6999 · 22/09/2019 02:03

Have you ever been to funny girls in Blackpool? I went with my partner when we were away for a weekend not really knowing what to expect, we had a brilliant night except oh refused to go to the toilet all night. I also used to go to a nightclub when I was younger who had a drag/trans DJ, she was hilarious, taking the piss out of customers, it was all taken as good fun.

Nat6999 · 22/09/2019 02:13

If you have ever been to a pantomime then you have seen drag, the pantomime dame is a man dressed up as a woman & principal boy is a woman dressed as a man. Is it that you actually feel threatened by them?

LiveInAHidingPlace · 22/09/2019 02:44

nat maybe you need to read the thread, many people have explained why they dislike drag.

Mothership4two · 22/09/2019 03:30

The female caricatureness of it makes me uncomfortable.

When I was a kid in the 70's and people would laugh at ott obviously gay characters on tv and in pantomimes (the Larry Graysons and John Inmans) and that made me feel uncomfortable too.

TheSandman · 22/09/2019 03:33

I've played panto dames several times. I don't feel I was 'dehumanising' anyone. I was playing a larger than life cartoon character. A couple of times I didn't even shave my beard off.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 22/09/2019 05:47

"I've played panto dames several times. I don't feel I was 'dehumanising' anyone. I was playing a larger than life cartoon character."

You might want to think about why people find the idea of a caricature of a woman funny but we don't have the same thing for men.

MadamBatty · 22/09/2019 06:55

So you’re a man who does drag The sandman yet you don’t understand why women don’t like it? Let me repeat that you’re a man.........

BackToTheOIdHouse · 22/09/2019 08:29

If a bloke wants to dress up like that - meh, I'd rather that than them going around fighting and starting wars

Yes, because the only alternative to hideously caricaturing women is fighting and starting wars Hmm

LaVieilleHarpie · 22/09/2019 09:36

@TheSandman - aaah, so YOU don't feel you dehumanised anyone so that's alright then. Hmm

Another clueless dude in our midst.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 22/09/2019 10:56

Yes, because the only alternative to hideously caricaturing women is fighting and starting wars

Oh how did I know someone would come back with that?Hmm
Of course there are all the behaviours in between but if some of the warmongers/terrorists in this world chilled out a bit and put a bloody dress on maybe they wouldn't be so violent and hateful?

Can't believe some of you are so insecure with being a woman that you feel threatened by a bloke dressing up in something that barely resembles a woman. Chill out a bit and don't be so offended by everything.

As for the pp who said they were proud about being a man-hater - I assume you don't have DSs or DNephews etc? Hmm

Oh and I don't feel dehumanised by pantomime dames and I'm most definitely a woman Grin

LiveInAHidingPlace · 22/09/2019 10:58

"don't be so offended by everything."

I'm not offended by everything. I'm offended by this particular thing.

HandsOffMyRights · 22/09/2019 11:04

but if some of the warmongers/terrorists in this world chilled out a bit and put a bloody dress on maybe they wouldn't be so violent and hateful?

How does putting on a dress help?

FloatingObject · 22/09/2019 11:09

One way to combat this would be for women to start drag queen pisstake acts, thereby turning the laughter back onto men.

Fatshedra · 22/09/2019 11:10

P Trudeau was nearly fired cos he imitated a black person in fun 20 years ago, I know men dressing as women for fun is different but it still feels a bit wrong to me.

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