dad left little girl in resturant

[orangehead]

recently eating out in pub/resturant, table next to me a guy with son about 2 and little girl in high chair about 10 months roughly. boy declared he neede loo and started to pull down pants so dad dashed him to loo and left girl. BTW loo on opposite side of pub and around two corners the dad was gone at least 5 mins the whole time the little girl was screaming obviously thought she had been left. I do understand difficult situation, I also have small age gap with my kids and had many similar situations where wished either someone else was there or I could just deal with the one child at time but not been possible so just dashed the 2 out. Anyway me and my dp were horrifed this guy left the girl. What do u think?

The chance of the child actually being harmed in a public place are pretty minor, I'd have thought. To be honest. The baby just screamed. It's not the end of the world. Even without the shoogling.

As for men not beiong able to multitaks, my dh does so very well and would have handled said situation with ease whereas I wouldnt have even attempted to go to a restaurant with 2 little ones in teh first place.

She was unattended in a high chair, not a swimming-pool...

(Mind you I leave my kids in the bath.)

The thread title is a bit sun/daily mail. Makes it sound like he walked out on her rather than went to the loo with sibling...

We had to sit next to a family with a toddler in a highchair who screamed for ages at lunchtime. She was cross that her dad was carrying her big sister round looking at all the things on the walls while her mum chatted to her friend. I felt like going and releasing the wailer myself.

Oh well, I am a bit paranoid about things like this. I am neglectful in other ways though, to make up for it

There are 11 months between my two (2.3 and 15 months)so I know where this man was coming from. I would have taken the baby with me, or asked someone to keep an eye on her but sometimes when you are harassed you just don't think things through clearly. I would hate to think someone would start a thread on mn about me and my many moments of incompatent parenting when I've been out and about

yes - he had to prioritize his son about to defaecate/eliminate and dad had to act fast - i don't see what the big deal is - don't see what he did wrong

We were in Portugal on holiday recently, and went to one of the shops where you have to leave your bag before you go in; slightly harassed by this as this was first trip abroad with 3 month DS I carefully laid him on the counter so that I could get wallet etc. out of my bag - to be greeted with a chorus from ALL the adults standing round: don't do that, let ME hold him, no ME etc. etc. It hadn't even occured to me to ask one of the many folk standing around to hold him, and having thought about it, that makes me really sad about the world we live in. (Of course DS much happier to be held than put on a counter...)

sorry: and the point is, it does seem sad that most of us are so nervous about being suspected of evil that we can't trust our children to the (usual) kindness of others. I hope that I would have comforted the little girl, but it's a hope, not a certainty.

It simply wouldn't have happened here - the waiter/waitress,or another customer, would have been cuddling the 10-month-old. It is really sad that no one felt they could pick that child up.

ok i have a confession to make. i left both my children unattended the other day at a bus stop in the city centre.
i was bursting for a wee and was just about to get on a bus for an hour. there was one of those weird loos next to the busstop-where you put 20p in the slot and then when you leave, it flushes out?
ds2 was in the buggy-i made ds1 hold the buggy and told them not to move at all. then i went in and peed. there is no way we would all have fitted in there and if i didn't go i would have peed myself on the bus.

so shoot me.

the guy did what he thought was best.
you knew where the babies dad was so if anybody came up to her you would stop them yes?

you did nothing wrong, nor did the dad in the op, i regularly go to local starbuck, the wc is located down a vertical flight of stairs and the loo is tiny unable to hold bubba and do the business...so i leave baby strapped in stroller up stairs sat where staff can see - no problemo

incidentally my mum used to leave us outside shops whilst she shopped...and in the garde sitting in pram alone getting fresh Scottish draughty chilly air

oh yes-all mums used to do that!!! my mum left me outside tescos once and went to pick up my brother from school! it was only whenhe said 'mum where's the baby' that she realised what she'd done!

LOL - mum regularly parked us outside shops etc - no biggie just the way it was in the 70's

I am struck by our national trait of "standoffishness" here.

I am recalling a trip I made when DD2 was just 8 months old. She had just got out of her Hip Spica (born with CDH) and had been pronounced fit and well and much relief all round. DH had to go to Rome to a conference which was going to leave him with evenings free so he suggested, to celebrate, I accompany him.

DD2 was still breastfeeding so, leaving DD1 and DS to be spoiled by doting Grandmother, the three of us went.

Alone with DD2 during the day I explored the delights of Rome and every lunchtime, in every restaurant, was pounced upon by either waiting staff or middle aged Italian "ladies who lunch" who swept her away to kitchens/their own tables to allow me to eat my lunch in peace. I am ashamed to say that the first couple of times I demurred, feeling very uncomfortable about giving her over to strangers, but these delightful people seemed so hurt and bewildered to be treated with such suspician that eventually I decided "when in Rome...."

I think if this incident had happened somewhere other than in UK the senario may have been quite different? Or has the whole workd really changed so much in only 12 years?

My ds was a regular in a pub kitchen about 14 years ago... I'm sure it was against health and safety then, and definitely is now!

no the world hasn't changed.
i really don't think so.

i loathe the mentality that says we musn't trust any starngers ever, we mustn't let our kids out of outr sight for a second, we musn't let themm play out, we musn't let them run around naked in the sun.

it's all fear of some mythical bogeyman and we have to restrict our kids lives in case he pounces.

i love the sound of rome!!!!

there were 'bad men' when we were kids and we were told about them and told how to handle situations. i know we hear so much these days about horrible things but surely this is just because of greater media prescence in our lives? things happened then, but now it's splashed all over thepapers.

Love your post!!!i have eaten in local turkish cafe since being up the nelly and the staff fuss over and take bubba march about, have a giggle, pass him around- i am happy and revel in the sociability

incidentally in Taormina, i pass the bubba happily around to good natured Sicilians - and Love to do so

excuse my typing-i've had a few drinks.

world even.

On one occasion, having been fed whilst I was waiting to be served, she brought back a goodly proportion of her feed down the front of a very smart Italian matron who simply smiled and said that it was no problem, it was a pleasure to have such a beautiful baby to hold! How nice is that?

me too!!!!still love your post tho

fiddlemama - luvverley story, i go to Sicily regularly and everyone is fabby to the scottishprince, relaxed and happy to enjoy a spontaneous moment with a parent, we could learn a lesson here

i am so nosy about babies children i love them so much i am over chat to mum asking all the name/age/how's he/she doing questions

More of the same story then:

We had been booked into a rather swish hotel, small and very select, the sort of place where you feel you have to talk in whispers (wish I could remember name - have to ask DH) Most certainly not the sort of place we were or are used to.

The first evening we came down with baby and peeped into the dining room (starched white linen tablecloths down to the ground ditto huge napkins and the kind of cutlery you just know is going to weigh a ton). Full of very smart ly dressed people all talking in lowered voices.

We though and went to ask at the desk about the whereabout of a suitable place to eat with a baby in tow.

With real distress the guy there insisted that baby was most welcome but that if we wanted to have a babysitter in the room on subsequent evenings whilst we ate it could easily be arranged. For that evening we were eagerly encouraged to take her into dine with us.

We entered with extreme trepidation and all heads turned. We cowered. A chorus of exclamations of delight greeted her arrival accompanied with beaming smiles all around which DD returned on maximum charm level and the oohs and ahhs crescendoed.

A highchair appeared from nowhere and she was immediately provided with a few bits of bread to suck on to keep her happy.

Whilst we studied the menu, a waiter appeared and enquired if the "young lady" would be requiring anything to eat. Shamefaced in such surroundings I pulled a jar of Cow & Gate out my bag (she had just begun having a few mouthfuls of something at breakfast and supper) and proffered it timidly. The waiter looked shocked and asked to be excused. A few moments later the chef appeared with a hand writtem list of vegetables available and ask if I would be so kind as to make a selection on baby's behalf it would be his pleasure to personally cook and puree them for her.

We had a great meal and a wonderful evening and nearly everyone in the dining room came over to see her and ask questions and generally make a fuss of her.

We did take up the babysitting service after this because we wanted some "couple Time " but it's one of those really warm memories that just stay with you.