Bedtime for Y7 DD

[TheHuntingOfTheSarky]

Genuinely curious as to whether DH and I are being unreasonable or whether we are in fact doing what other parents are doing.

DD1 is 11, turning 12 in November so in Y7 just gone up to secondary.

Each year we have been in the habit of adding an extra 20 minutes to bedtime for her and DD2 who is 8, 9 in January. So at the moment DD1 has to go up at 8:20 and DD2 at 7:20. The expectation is that they will read for a bit then lights out. We don’t police exactly when lights out are.

DD1 has recently been complaining that “all of her friends” go to bed at 9.30 at the earliest. We take this largely with a pinch of salt, thinking she’s just changing her arm, but I did do a bit of a straw poll amongst friends and was surprised to find that some of their same-age children are staying up regularly until 10pm even on school nights. DD1 needs to get up by about 6.15am to be ready to leave for school by 8.

Are WBU? Whenever either DD has gone to bed late ie after a special event etc, she’s been ridiculously tired the next day and IMO not really fit to put in a solid day of school (fwiw we’ve never kept her out late when she has school the next day). She is adamant that everyone else stays up much later than her and that we are being Draconian.

So who IBU? What time do your 12 year olds go to bed and what time do they need to get up?

Thanks in advance!

@KnittingSister thank you! I think so too! I knew I would get my share of the usual “OMG that’s so early my 8yo generally goes up at 1am” brigade but it wasn’t really their opinions I was seeking tbh - just regular folks! Seems we’re doing things right - I’m reassured and will show DD the NHS guidelines - medical evidence is right up her street so she’ll probably take it as Gospel and start lecturing her friends on good practice

My daughter is also yr 7 but not 12 until next August. She goes up at 8.30 with reading no later than 9.00 on mon, tues, thurs and Sunday. About 9.0 on Wednesday as she is at scouts, Friday and Saturday probably about 9.30 as she has gymnastics and rock climbing so later home. She also gets up about 6.00 to leave home at 7.30 for the bus. So I think you're times are similar and reasonable.

DS is year 8. He goes to bed between 8 and 8.15pm and reads until 8.30pm - 8.45pm. He's up at 6am.

Last night he went to bed at 9pm as there was something on at school. He was in a foul mood when he got up and actually went back to bed for 15 minutes!

At the weekends he stays up until whatever time he wants but it's always a regular 9.5 hours. So if he goes to bed at 10.30pm he'll wake at 8am. So his bed time suits his needs. I judge it by that and when he's tired.

I'd say it depends on the child. Some need more sleep than others. DD goes up around 8 and reads till around 9pm.
I've noticed some of her friends are up very late as she has got messages on her phone after 11pm!