It's time to build that very tall, very thick emotional brick wall between you. What he says is no longer relevant to you, ignore him. Ignore his guilting, ignore his gaslighting. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Refuse to be drawn into discussions about the past. When he starts, shrug and walk away. Whose fault it is no longer matters (for the record, it's his). All that matters is the future and 'the future's so bright you gotta wear shades'.
Remember JADE. Never Justify, Apologize, Defend, or Explain. Your reasons are your own and they are valid to you.
I'm assuming that the reason you're waiting until January is because of giving notice to the tenants? Because IMO that's the only reason to wait. If there's any way you can leave earlier do it. Don't think "Oh, the holidays" because chances are the holidays aren't going to be all warm and fuzzy this year if you're living in the same house. Better to get out and have peaceful holidays in your own home.
If you haven't seen a solicitor yet, please do so ASAP. They can answer your questions about who has what 'rights' over the home you're moving back to. And I'm sure there are 1000s of things you want answers to. Seeing a solicitor doesn't mean you are filing any papers, it just means that you are educating yourself about your legal position and what you can expect as far as a timeline and/or how court works. Knowledge is power.