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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who is in the wrong here?

302 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 18:57

Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for 3 hours work.
Yesterday, Marks adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.
About an hour in, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time but Tony insists.
Ella takes the money for the full shift despite only doing under half of it (Money is left in the kitchen ).
Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed?

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 17/09/2019 19:52

So do you all think I shouldn't offer to give back some money?

You should absolutely not give any money back! If Mark should be annoyed with anyone it’s Tony, not you.

Redshoeblueshoe · 17/09/2019 19:52

Everyone thinks you should have taken the money.
So just leave it now.
If Mark complains tell him Tony insisted you left.

EggysMom · 17/09/2019 19:52

Depends if you want repeat babysitting or not.

Want to go back as this is a regular income? Be generous, offer half the money back.

Not bothered if they stop using you after two weeks when they find somebody else? Keep the money.

MsSweeney · 17/09/2019 19:53

Don't give the money back, OP.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2019 19:55

Don't give the money back and quite honestly, I wouldn't have checked with Mark before leaving either. Tony is his brother FFS and he had already indicated that he was fine with him taking over if he was out beyond the arranged 3 hours.

THIS ^

And as for insisting on staying as one poster suggested - how could you do this under these circumstances? Mark was obviously comfortable with Tony as a babysitter (it wasn't as though he said "Don't leave my half-wit brother with the baby under any circumstances, he'll probably feed her beer"). To have insisted on staying would have been really awkward.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 19:56

Keep being told different things. Some say I should give the money back, others not. My sister thinks I was wrong to take all the money too.I have anxiety so things like this really stress me out.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2019 19:56

I'm suspicious of Tony insisting you left early.

I thought that was strange, too, but thought I was being paranoid.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 19:59

Tony had a friend over and is leaving the country next week, I guess he saw it as an opportunity to spend more time with him. I think I will send that text that was suggested up thread.

OP posts:
Nomorepies · 17/09/2019 19:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Ginger1982 · 17/09/2019 19:59

Why were you even needed if Tony was in the house anyway?
Don't give the money back. Mark will need you again before you need him.

BloggersBlog · 17/09/2019 20:00

When someone said you shouldn't have taken the money, I expect they meant for the house you didn't work. Not for the time you did work.
Mark is being pedantic and silly. You booked the time slot for him, you were willing to work it so you get paid.

ShirleyPhallus · 17/09/2019 20:00

Barely anyone has said to give the money back, in fact has anyone?!

Do not give the money back

What did mark say to you to indicate he was annoyed?

lottiegarbanzo · 17/09/2019 20:01

Do not give any money back. You were booked, you were present, you were paid.

if Mark is annoyed with anyone, it should be Tony.

Tony is an interfering nitwit.

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 20:02

I used to be a dog walker. The times I would turn up and be told "oh I'm working from home today so dog won't need a walk" or get a text message an hour before, followed by a sulky attitude if I still billed for the walk. I really had to spell out to them that I came to work, I was there, if I hadn't been there to walk their dog, I could have been walking someone else's dog. They booked my time so I couldn't give that time to someone else and earn money for it.

This situation is the same I think.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/09/2019 20:03

You could tell Mark that you feel Tony put you in a very awkward position and that, given you knew Mark was ok with Tony taking over, you didn't feel able to refuse his request to leave.

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 20:04

Categorically you should NOT give the money back and don't be apologetic about it!

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 20:04

I meant, giving back the money I did for the time not worked. I don't want to get into the habit of having pay docked when situations like this arise as it isn't my fault. Yet it seems 50/50 as I know some would have given some of the money back.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 17/09/2019 20:06

You weren't wrong. You kept those hours free and were willing to do them. Many babysitters rely on the planned income and late cancellations really mess things up!

If Mark is annoyed, he needs to be annoyed with Tony for muscling in.

It's a bit odd that Tony "stirred the pot" not only by insisting you leave but then also by "grassing you up" to Mark. Call me cynical but I can see my teenage son trying this on. Telling me the irresponsible babysitter walked out and he saved the day and i owed him £x per hour. (No chance, matey!)

picklemepopcorn · 17/09/2019 20:07

No, tell Mark you are sorry you didn't call him to clarify the situation, but that you felt uncomfortable because Tony told you to leave. You would have preferred to stay, as arranged.

ButterPie1 · 17/09/2019 20:09

If I get sent home from work because it suits them.... Then i get paid! Ella needs to be paid in full!

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 20:09

Mark has said he is annoyed in a text.
I will say the following-

'Mark, I feel I was put in an awkward position today and I now feel very uncomfortable.

Tony insisted I leave despite me saying I would stay. I did put aside the evening to have (child) so don't feel it is fair for me to lose out financially. I just want to make it clear what happened as don't want it to look as though I was seeing it as an opportunity to leave early.

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 20:11

Mark sounds like an absolute tit!

Teensruletheroost · 17/09/2019 20:12

I am going against the grain. I would have taken half the money if I had only done half the time.

I think you should offer half the money back.

Drum2018 · 17/09/2019 20:13

Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.

Mark expected you to stay and babysit for the three hours and said you could then leave the child in Tony's care if he wasn't home in time. You should have checked with Mark before leaving. I don't think you should have left given your arrangement was with Mark, not Tony, and in that respect I don't think you should have taken all the money.

BloggersBlog · 17/09/2019 20:15

Mark is an idiot not to appreciate having someone reliable to look after his child. To quibble over what, a tenner or so? And risk losing you in the process? Daft