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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the wrong here?

302 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 18:57

Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for 3 hours work.
Yesterday, Marks adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.
About an hour in, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time but Tony insists.
Ella takes the money for the full shift despite only doing under half of it (Money is left in the kitchen ).
Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed?

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 17/09/2019 19:29

I would have probably insisted on staying the full time if I wanted the money or taken the money for the time I was there, as I think babysitters are paid per hour not on a salary if you see what I mean.

bluebeck · 17/09/2019 19:31

I wouldn't offer to pay back the money but I would make it clear to Mark that there needed to be clear lines on who you are reporting to/who makes decisions.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 17/09/2019 19:32

does he know you were told to leave or do you think Tony might have said "Ella pretty much left about an hour later"

This could well be it. Talk to Mark and make sure he knows you were ready and willing to stay, but were virtually forced to leave.

If you regularly babysit for them and want to continue doing so, you could offer some of the money back as a gesture - but make it clear you are not a charity and don’t babysit for the love of it. Time booked by Mark is time you can’t work for anyone else.

Gatehouse77 · 17/09/2019 19:33

No, don’t return any money.
If Mark feels disgruntled then he doesn’t understand economics - he paid for your availability. That didn’t change. Tony changed the parameters, not you.

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/09/2019 19:33

No @IceAndASlice123 you should not have cleared anything with Mark. You made an arrangement and were entitled to be paid. Mark will have a hard time keeping a regular and reliable babysitter if he doesn't pay fairly. You could hardly make up the money you were short in any way.

regmover · 17/09/2019 19:33

Don't give the money back and quite honestly, I wouldn't have checked with Mark before leaving either. Tony is his brother FFS and he had already indicated that he was fine with him taking over if he was out beyond the arranged 3 hours.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 19:33

Sorry to dripfeed but Mark had spoken to Tony and told him I could go home early if he (Mark) was home late. Tony did not listen and decided to send Ella home early.

In reference of working for free, someone mentioned that I shouldn't have taken the money up thread.

I feel very unsettled now. Don't want to be seen as an opportunist 😐

OP posts:
CoinOperatedBoy · 17/09/2019 19:34

He booked you for 3 hours. He pays for 3 hours. When you "get let off early" you still get your full pay... I mean imagine it "Who wants to leave early and have their wages docked... hands up?"

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/09/2019 19:35

You're not being an opportunist, Mark and Tony are being cheeky fuckers.

Templetonstunafish · 17/09/2019 19:36

You did the right thing- you were booked for a particular shift & should be paid for it. Tell "mark" and "Tony" to piss off. Good babysitters are hard to find and they might do well to remember that!

SciFiScream · 17/09/2019 19:37

I'm suspicious of Tony insisting you left early. That's weird, especially as you were laid to babysit for a certain period.

SciFiScream · 17/09/2019 19:37

*paid not laid ffs

TriciaH87 · 17/09/2019 19:38

If it was a nursery you would pay regardless of using the spot. Ella expected to do 3 hours work and said she would stay to do it but Tony made her leave. She may of had other offers to babysit for the same day but turnt them down to babysit for Mark. If she was only paid for an hour it would be unfair as she may have refused work to be there. If any one owes Mark 2 hours pay its Tony.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 19:39

Tony wanted to spend time with the child as he is going travelling soon.
To be honest, I would rather Mark just cancel me instead of now worrying about being seen as a c.f. 😐

OP posts:
NigellaAwesome · 17/09/2019 19:42

If you are in demand I'd be inclined not to bother working for them again. Too much hassle.

Tony shouldn't have interfered.

Is there a Mrs Mark in the picture?

Blubluboo · 17/09/2019 19:42

Okay I'm a nanny so I've dealt with situations like this before. If it is babysitting then that would be that you arrive at X time and get paid for the amount of hours that they are gone. This is usually minimum 3 hours as it isn't always worth my time to do less (although sometimes I will do less depending on their circumstances and how close they live to me)
This doesn't sound like babysitting as it is a regular set up so really you should be employed where you will build up holiday pay too. If this is that situation then you definitely get paid for the whole time.

geojellyfish · 17/09/2019 19:43

Do you rely on this arrangement/the money? As I'd be tempted to say to Mark that you are disappointed in his attitude, which has made you feel uncomfortable and you think it's best he finds a new babysitter.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 19:45

Tony was told to get involved to be fair to him. Problem is, Tony gets involved far too much. He is moving away next week but am annoyed at him for making me look like a CF and putting me in an awkward position. I have made it clear I was willing to stay so have covered my back. Still unsure on whether to give half the money back.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2019 19:46

No-one has said Ella should work for free!

Everybody thinks Ella is entitled to her full payment. If Mark only want dher to work half a shift why didn't;t ne say so, and only leave half the cash?

Mark is i the wrong.

Ella is entitled to every penny.

ClassicTracks · 17/09/2019 19:47

If Mark were in your shoes, he'd have taken the full amount too. He's being an arse. Surely this isn't a mammoth amount of money, either? £20/30?

Honestly OP, you've done nothing wrong. I feel like I want to message Mark and tell him to quit guilt tripping you. He's being entitled and bloody cheeky to risk losing a trusted and reliable babysitter.

You were booked for 3 hours, turned up on time and were a third of the way through your shift. You were then effectively cancelled. He still has to pay for those hours.

tell him he can have the money back but unfortunately there will be a £20 cancellation charge for being sent home early

VladmirsPoutine · 17/09/2019 19:48

The question is does Mark know that you were instructed by Tony to leave or is he working under the illusion that you saw an opportunity to 'bunk off' early?

nettie434 · 17/09/2019 19:48

Absolutely don't give the money back. You expected to stay for the full 3 hours. Mark and Tony should have sort out their plans in advance.

YouDancin · 17/09/2019 19:48

Why don't you send a message to Mark saying what you told us.

"I feel very unsettled now. Don't want to be seen as an opportunist.
I thought I was entitled to the pay as I was prepared to work the time and had set it aside for you, I couldn't do anything else in that evening / afternoon / whatever as I had reserved the time for you.
I was fully prepared to stay the whole time but Tony insisted I left.
How much do you think I should have taken when the time was essentially already yours?"

NataliaOsipova · 17/09/2019 19:50

You were booked for 3 hours, turned up on time and were a third of the way through your shift. You were then effectively cancelled. He still has to pay for those hours.

Absolutely.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2019 19:51

but should I now offer to give half back?

NO!