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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is in the wrong here?

302 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 18:57

Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for 3 hours work.
Yesterday, Marks adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.
About an hour in, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time but Tony insists.
Ella takes the money for the full shift despite only doing under half of it (Money is left in the kitchen ).
Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed?

OP posts:

BlancoNita · 17/09/2019 20:57

I pay my babysitter 35 quid for an evening, in saying that if I am later than usual I will give her some extra as a thank you, also the copious glasses of wine drank make me feel all lovey dovey and grateful :)

But on the occasions where we go out and only end up being out for an hour or a short time, be it cinema or a night cut short, I still pay her the 35 quid. Its only fair and a few times I haven't had extra cash on me to give her a bit extra so it works both ways.

gamerchick · 17/09/2019 20:57

Seriously OP, tell him you no longer feel comfortable working for him in the future, that he paid for your time and it wasn't your fault that you were chased. Wish him well for his future and stop stewing on it.

ivykaty44 · 17/09/2019 20:57

If you book someone for 3 hours and then change your mind half way through - you can’t expect to not pay for the full 3 hours

ChicCroissant · 17/09/2019 20:59

This is not really a subject you're going to get the answer you want off MN - you need to speak to Mark about it OP.

I am assuming that you suffer with anxiety normally because you are so bothered about this?

Hecateh · 17/09/2019 20:59

Keep the money - tell him to find another babysitter - wait for him to come crawling.

They are CF, you were engaged to do a job that you were perfectly willing to do. Despite your protests you were sent home early. You gave up your time to do the full job and incurred the time (and travel costs?) of doing the job. The money is yours.

If Tony wanted to do the childcare then Mark should have cancelled before you arrived.

If Tony didn't want to do any childcare, so wanted someone there in case there was any real childcare involved but then, once children were confirmed as settled, wanted the evening to himself, then tough. You have taken the responsibility for the evening and have earned the money. I suspect if the kids had been unsettled then you would have been expected to stay.

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 21:01

I am assuming that you suffer with anxiety normally because you are so bothered about this?

Rubbish, plenty of people would give a great deal of thought to unfair treatment such as this.

SpecialKRocks223 · 17/09/2019 21:01

Ella is in the wrong. She should have only taken the money if she'd done the full three hours. It was cheeky to take it.

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 21:02

I am assuming that you suffer with anxiety normally because you are so bothered about this?

Eh? plenty of people would give a great deal of thought to unfair treatment and have concerns about being thought badly of at a place of work. Nothing to do with being an anxious person.

gamerchick · 17/09/2019 21:03

Ella is in the wrong. She should have only taken the money if she'd done the full three hours. It was cheeky to take it

If your work sent you home when you didn't want to go and then didn't pay you, would you accept that?

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 21:03

@SpecialKRocks223 would you think that if your place of work sent you home early because they didn't need you?

Sundancer77 · 17/09/2019 21:04

Ella isn’t in the wrong, she was booked for that amount of time, turned up, presumably cancelled her plans for the night and organised her life.

Original poster

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 21:05

Mark still hasn't replied.
Will talk to him in person tomorrow.

OP posts:

Blondieg · 17/09/2019 21:05

You sound like a lovely thoughtful person. Please don't dwell and worry over this.
You are fully entitled to be paid for the time he booked you for, effectively making you unavailable for anyone else.
Please don't offer to give any money back. It will then lead to him booking you a whole evening, returning after 2 hours and short paying.

Drogosnextwife · 17/09/2019 21:08

I don't see what difference it makes to mark his child was looked after for the time he needed and it cost him the same as it always does. I don't think Ella should lose out on her usual money.

NigellaAwesome · 17/09/2019 21:09

Why do you need to talk to him at all? You have sent the text. He hasn't replied. There is nothing further to discuss.

If he asks you to babysit again, respond that you will do it (if you are happy to do so), but to avoid any misunderstandings, your minimum fee is 3 hours.

Someone asked, how old are you?

SpecialKRocks223 · 17/09/2019 21:09

If I went to a full time job where I had a permanent contract and they sent me home for the day because, for example, the boiler had broken, then yes I'd still expect to get paid same as sick pay or annual leave etc. It's a steady and consistent income.

If I was doing something more casual such as, for example, a cash in hand bar shift, I turn up as planned and they say I'm not needed that night now for whatever reason, I would see it as I've now got a bonus free night off and wouldn't expect to get paid for it.

Oh well. Maybe I'm a push over!

Worlds0kayestmum · 17/09/2019 21:10

In my job, I sometimes get sent home early or have a shift shortened by my employer. I always offer to just be paid for the hours worked but they insist if I have my hours cut short by them, I shouldn't miss out financially which I appreciate. So I think you probably should have checked first but Mark is being a massive arse about it

CarolDanvers · 17/09/2019 21:12

So people without permanent contracts shouldn't have the same rights to be paid as those with them? I don't know if you're a pushover but you don't seem to be aware that people employed in casual jobs need to paid just as much as those in secure employment, possibly more, given that they have no security and other associated benefits.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/09/2019 21:13

You've been clear. It's up to Mark to contact you now. Leave it with him.

SunniDay · 17/09/2019 21:14

Keep the money. You could/would have turned down another babysitting gig because you had been booked for that one.

Original poster

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 21:15

I don't think my age is relevant here? Maybe some of you think me childish for getting worked up over it but its unsettled me.
This is a regular set up so not just a random thing. Even if it were I would still be asking for the full amount of money. I did not ask to go home early and I had set that time aside. It wasn't my choice to leave or my fault. I am disappointed Mark doesn't seem to see it like that. He knows me well enough or should do, to know I am not a c.f.

OP posts:

AryaStarkWolf · 17/09/2019 21:15

@SpecialKRocks223 but surely a 3 hour babysitting job is little money as is, so the miserable amount she would have earned for the time she was there would hardly have been worth her while at all, Mark was a miserable bastard to even complain about it. It'd be one thing if he'd cancelled the whole thing, atleast that way Ella's whole evening wouldn't have been disrupted, but she was sent home an hour in, she deserved the full pay on that short notice

StillCoughingandLaughing · 17/09/2019 21:15

I am going against the grain. I would have taken half the money if I had only done half the time.

Why?

OP - the more I think about it, the more I think Tony was hoping you’d take half the money and he could pocket the rest himself. He has ‘grassed you up’ as one poster put it because he’s sore that he effectively babysat for free, having believed he’d get the money that was originally yours.

OrchidInTheSun · 17/09/2019 21:17

Don't give any money back! If anyone is being a cf, it's mark.

picklemepopcorn · 17/09/2019 21:18

Your age is relevant because if you are young you are more vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

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