AIBU - Neighbours child crying constantly

[jessieolivia4]

Newish neighbours upstairs (3 months) they have a young child/baby (couldn't tell you as we haven't actually seen the child or the parents) the child cries and cries and cries through the night and often during the day too. I can't imagine how stressful it must be for the parents however, none of us can get a normal nights sleep, my 2 flatmates and I get woken usually 2 or 3 times because of this crying which is often accompanied by strange heavy footing (sometimes sounds like running) upstairs throughout their flat. They leave the windows open so the noise travels, it's actually getting to a point where I've been staying at my partners place more during weekdays to avoid this noise despite the commute to work being far longer. My other flatmate has been staying with her Grandma too. It's becoming unbearable. I understand its out of their control and I understand teething etc can be a difficult time (if that is whats going on) but would it be unreasonable to request they shut the windows and try and contain the noise to one room and stop the loud thumpy noises? If its not, could anyone suggest what would be the most polite and non judgemental way to approach them about this? I wouldn't want to upset or add to their stress but I feel we've let it go on for awhile now with no improvement.

I know two babies who both cried for 2 years.
Some babies are cross babies who just cry a lot.
I'd probably ring SS.

" know two babies who both cried for 2 years.
Some babies are cross babies who just cry a lot.
I'd probably ring SS."

Ffs🙄😂😂

Roozy
You then said in your world each to their own. . Which I then replied no in my world you dont knock on someone's door blah blah blah and repeated myself?*

For clarification:

I said each FOR their own which means everyone just looking out for themselves. Not good.

Each TO their own means live & let live. Good.

I honestly think your best plan in terms of both kindness but also likely to yield the most productive result is to talk to then in person and make it clear you understand this must be difficult and its not their fault etc etc but could they possibly shut the windows and try not to pace loudly.

Going in too heavy handed or even slightly coldly as per a pp proposed letter is unlikely to appeal to them if they are having an awful time.

We got reported to social services recently maliciously by a disgruntled ex builder (yes really) and whilst there was no basis to it so it came to nothing it was incredibly stressful and my mental health wobbled, and that's with a dream baby who was sleeping through the night and never cries! Please please dont do this, its unfounded and any chance of a good relationship with them will be ruined.

I would suspect they will be mortified once they know how much it's been affecting you and will do everything they can to mitigate it. Just remember no matter how hard it is for you, its 10 times worse for them. That doesn't mean you dont have the right to speak to them about it, but tread softly.

Elodie2019 dear Lord!! Lol. Give it a rest. either way.. I was stating my opinion - not quoting you in that comment you said I was!
Now I typed one word wrong fgs 😂

Also, just to "clarify" I stated the whole convo the comment after... 👍🏻

Roozy
Not sure what your last comment was meant to mean but our views are worlds apart so probably best to leave it there.

I'd suggest calling 101 but they're probably busy dealing with a scruffy bloke holding a posh man-bag.

ConcreteUnderpants

"You can't imagine how stressful it is for the parents". Got it in one. Don't be adding to that stress.
My child constantly cried for 9 months. She had undiagnosed allergies. The whole process of dealing with the constant screaming and medical appointments Etc made me mentally pretty unwell. Even if it's straightforward "colic", they will be under intense pressure. The child will get older - do what you can to ride it out, and be glad it's not your problem to have to solve.

"You can't imagine how stressful it is for the parents". Got it in one. Don't be adding to that stress.

How do you know? They might be out all night every night or silent ravers partying the night away in the flat with headphones on. Such strange projected assumptions on this thread.

Then if they do nothing - escalate.

Escalate where exactly?

Nothing the OP has posted would suggest they even come close to SS thresholds for investigation/intervention, SS would quite rightly point out that babies cry and from the walking noises it appears the parents are going to the baby and attempting to soothe it. Nothing there for SS to deal with.

The noise abatement team within environmental health would class a crying baby as normal living sounds because babies cry, it's not a stereo where they can slap an ASBO on it with restriction when and where it's allowed to make noise. Nothing there for them to do.

Landlord, presuming the flat is rented that is? They can't evict them for having a baby and if they did then they'd be opening themselves up to legal action from the parents.

I know its crappy OP but a crying baby is one of those things where you simply have to suck it up. Invest in some good quality earplugs and/or a white noise machine, both of which can be bought fairly cheaply on Amazon. It won't be a baby for long and hopefully will start sleeping for longer periods sooner rather than later. It's an unfortunate fact of life when living in a flat that you are inevitably going to hear noise from your neighbours and, short of gagging the baby, this isn't a noise they can really control, they're not doing it maliciously.

Babies need rooms to be at quite specific temperatures, which probably accounts for the open windows. It is unsafe for them to get warm. I was surprised how cold their room had to be.

The pacing is most likely to try and settle dc.

Dc often cry a fair bit and there is very little parents can do.

You could ask them to put thicker rugs down in the flat but I'm not seeing much else can be done at present. It will pass eventually. Use ear plugs and while noise until it does.

As a social worker there is nothing in our power to stop babies crying. I truly wish I had had this magical power.

@ConcreteUnderpants 😫😫😂😂🤣

Escalate where exactly?

I’d still be telling the landlord, seeing if others are affected, knocking on the door, etc., basically doing what I could, especially about the footfall.

I’d still be telling the landlord, seeing if others are affected, knocking on the door, etc., basically doing what I could, especially about the footfall.

But there is literally nothing the landlord can do. It's a baby. Babies cry. They can't blink the fucking thing out of existence every time it starts. And knocking on everyone in the building will only make the parents feel ganged up on which turns it into a neughbour dispute, OPs own landlord won't be chuffed about having to declare it next time they rent that flat out or if they ever decide to sell.

basically doing what I could
Doing what you could to inflame the situation, stress the parents out and make a nuisance of yourself?

You could talk about footfall but talking to the neighbors isn't going to help.
Babies don't care how many people they disturb or how often. They have no concept of life outside themselves.
Parents cannot change this.

Doing what you could to inflame the situation, stress the parents out and make a nuisance of yourself?

As a poster said earlier we should all have a right to a peaceful existence. Surely the upstairs people could attempt to walk quietly, or put rugs down? Just because they have a baby they should not get a free pass to any preventable noise.

This is nothing, just wait until the baby is walking/teething/had jags.

Yes, hittheroadjack, and then they'll have another baby and it will start all over again :-).

I hope the op has bought some good ear plugs which have been recommended by more than one poster on here.

I'd contact social services. Better safe than sorry, there are way too many stories of poor kids getting neglected/abused. It's been 3 months I'd deffo call social services

I'd contact social services. Better safe than sorry, there are way too many stories of poor kids getting neglected/abused. It's been 3 months I'd deffo call social services

Oh for gods sake. As someone who has a baby who cried constantly- and she still cries a lot at 15 months. You are being utterly ridiculous and ignorant. A crying baby does not mean they are being abused!

As a social worker
I'd deffo call social services
Isn't particularly sensible advice if the only concern is that a 3 month old baby is waking people up crying three times a night.
This is well within standard child development. If there are signs of neglect alongside, shouting, other indicators of violence then obviously yes but 3 month old babies cry.