AIBU to think teachers should be respectful to pupils?

[mammaplay]

DS 11 has just started secondary school. He has mild SEN needs which the school are aware of (effects speed of work and presentation).
Today in front of the class, the maths teacher screwed up his worksheet, threw it in the bin and simply handed him a new worksheet (with no verbal communication) as he'd made a minor mistake in not leaving enough space on the page.
AIBU to think this type of behaviour from teachers is a bit 'old school' and unnecessary, or am I being completely precious about my little snowflake?

No actually you are comedy gold if you can't see how some of these posts are defensive - do you know what the word means?

I can't see any defensiveness, just people (quite rightly) taking the piss out of outdated ideas.

OP do not save up a list of teacher misdemeanours for parents evening. I'm cringing for you.

I'm hiding this thread now because its winding me up too much - you just keep patting yourselves on the back about what a good job you are all doing 🙄

Ah thanks, will do

you just keep patting yourselves on the back about what a good job you are all doing
You've missed the point in a spectacular fashion.
We are taking the piss of some ideas precisely because our ideas and practices have changed over time as new research emerges etc.
Claims of outdated ideas being needed for children to learn (including things that are damaging for progress) are hilarious and will harm the learning of the very children they're claiming to be looking out for.

As I said early in the thread, the best senior leaders I've worked with were reflective and adaptable and open to new ideas. Not the types who think flawed ideas that have been debunked are so essential that staff who don't agree shouldn't be working in their school.

And me, thanks!

Every measure says I'm doing a good job, so ta!

I'm a teacher. I can imagine a scenario where a child looks up at me with an 'uh oh, I've messed up', I realise and hand them a new sheet and throw the old one away without saying anything.

How many people on this thread have had a teacher scrunch up their failed work up and thrown it in the bin? I threw away loads of paper today - scrunching it up would have taken bloody ages (and I had no audience so there was no point). Top tip - maybe teachers could save time buy just placing the paper in bin - no need for scrunching and when time is of the essence why would you waste it?

Since when is scrunching up paper not only an audience worthy job but some kind of Sisyphean task?

tobeshared
If it's a sheet they no longer need because they're doing it correctly why would anyone spend time stressing over throwing away a worksheet?
Seriously?

There's a lot of drama seeking on this thread over a bit of a non issue.

Of course, someone screaming and shouting about how terrible the work is at a child before dramatically flouncing to the bin, scrumpling a sheet for effect before lobbing it in the bin would be ridiculous and out of order...
... But picks sheet up that's not needed, scrunches it and puts it in the bin is not the above (unless you're a mumsnetter who spends loads of time unpicking the act of paper disposal and rvakting the best methods).

At least the workload issue and life -work balance for teachers has been solved.

Just stop scrunching up paper!!

At least the workload issue and life -work balance for teachers has been solved. It's a start - what else do you waste your time doing ? 🤔 😂

I need to scrunch paper otherwise it doesn't fit in the teeny weeny bin (that we are given by the PFI company that owns our school buildings before anyone starts).

Yep. I have a recycling box. It's not emptied often enough. Scrunch it, shove the paper down....any way to get more in there 😁

If my boss or my dh(same person) scrunched up a page I had produced, that he didn't like we'd be having words and it wouldn't just be about me - it would be about him being an arse with his other employees - it's bloody rude - I'm amazed that so many teachers can't see that. I eat in the street but I get that other people find it to be very bad manners what I don't get on this thread is how teachers are so convinced that scrunching up someone's work and throwing it in the bin, in front of them is an emotionally neutral think to do, I get that you want to do it to make a point but it really isn't a "simple disposal" - it doesn't matter how many times you say it - it still isn't true!

I'm amazed that so many teachers can't see that.
I'm more amazed that a number of otherwise sensible adults can't seem to see that scrumpling some paper can be:
Someone's way of disposing of paper
A quick and efficient way to move a sheet and stop it cluttering a desk
Done to fit in a bin/box
Done for comedic effect
Done in a dramatic fashion
Done in anger

And that actually the whole context of the interaction is entirely relevant.

I'm amazed that there's so many adults who, instead of being sensible and rational, decide that a (most likely) fairly inoccuous event doesn't require a quick phone call with the teacher to clear up what happened / move on, but instead is some super dramatic, bordering on abusive event showing out of control behaviour from teachers without having been there.

Maybe that's why there's so many people who reply LTB to threads about a DH not loading the dishwasher properly. It's anything for a bit of drama.

Teachers always say on here "is that what really happened" - assume kids are lying -it so often sounds like they are defending their crap colleagues.

I have ripped up a child’s work and made them do it at lunchtime again. He was an able child though and had been messing around all morning x

Absolutely not a case of defending crap colleagues. You only have to manage crap colleagues and colleagues who can be unpleasant to know what goes on.

However, what experience tells you so that some situations are more/less likely than others, and that some responses are more/less likely to get a positive resolution than others.

In this situation, it is by far more likely that the teacher has scrumpled the paper and put it in the bin because it's not needed anymore and the child was getting on with the new sheet. It's much less likely that the version invented by posters later of some out of control, dramatic, anxiety causing behaviour by an unpleasant teacher.

Equally, if the OP has some concerns then they're much better off simply calling for a chat and asking what happened, then sharing how her DC felt and then moving on than doing the thing encouraged on here of being fuming, complain, teacher conspiracy.

MN has a really unhelpful trend of people advocating ridiculously unhelpful ways of dealing with schools that's more often than not based on the chips of other posters and the desire to cheerlead some drama over actually helping a poster get a resolution for their child.

Maybe it's because a fair bit of the time the events are not exactly as happened.

My own kids change/embellish events.

I'd take stories like this with a pinch of salt. If it was my kid, I'd tell him to try and listen and follow instructions and ask for help if he's struggling.

Then see if things change or settle. It may just be something and nothing and shouting the odds just makes you into "that parent".

Maybe that's why there's so many people who reply LTB to threads about a DH not loading the dishwasher properly. It's anything for a bit of drama. Most people would think that if someone had concerns about their bastard dh not loading the dishwasher properly then they'd have a conversation about how they'd like it done - on this thread having a conversation about the impact about how a teacher has interacted with your child is seen as over the top, best ignore - teacher is clearly right, child is clearly wrong - thing is that is not the facts.

Teachers can be shits and so can kids - if you are concerned, you are best to find out who is being the shit, upsetting the teacher should not be your concern - the truth is what you are seeking!

@LolaSmiles

That’s a great point . Maybe it wasn’t needed

@tobeshared you do realise we dont all work in one big building right? Why would you use the word colleagues to describe people of the same profession? What an odd turn of phrase.

Why on earth - thinking logically - would people defend somebody they have never met just because they do the same job? I work with some shit teachers. The teacher in the OP may be one such teacher. But from the info given we dont know that. Teachers are giving their experiences which do often mean that misunderstanding and - yes - sometimes embellishments- happen.

Why is that so difficult to understand?

@NeverGotMyPuppy Because you all pile in to the defense of the teacher in question - always assuming the kid has got it wrong and It's impossible to know whether you are being automatically defensive of your profession - which often seems the case or you being the devil's advocate.

It's simple logic that goes out the window on school threads on a regular basis.

OP- Here is a problem or concern or situation that I only have one side of

Option 1 - I could call the school, be open minded, calm, sensible, rational, seek to speak to the most appropriate person, talk like adults to explore the situation, raise my concerns in a way that is sensible and condusive to getting on in a reasonable manner. If I don't get anywhere I can follow the complaints procedure and assertively and politely hold the school to account.

Option 2 - I could take one half of the story, close my mind to any other wider factors or any missing information, be raging/fuming, wanting to complain to the head or Ofsted or put the teacher in their place, confront them about how crap they are. Then if I don't get my way or I can't get my demands met I shall threaten Ofsted and feel bolsters by the fact a few people who hate schools and love drama on Mumsnet have told me I need to stand up to the teacher gods. I'll be back later to complain about a cover up when Ofsted rightly have told me they have no interest in my ranting because I've made no attempt to resolve the issue.