To ask why I feel sex work is a bit wrong?

[sweatyscruffy]

So I'm fully preparing to get flamed here!
Bf came round last night, I asked her how it was going as her university friends have moved in with her and her dh for a while. Bf's friend was doing webcam work with her dp previously and they were continuing to earn an absolute mint doing it (£30,000 in three months once!) I don't really see anything wrong with it as it's doing what they do anyway with a few cameras filming. The other girl is a medical professional, also part time escort. My bf was telling me about it as if it was the best thing ever. Apparently the agency only takes on clients earning over £50,000, and only contracts girls who know how to talk to and entertain very rich men. It involves a lot of trips to London and Europe, occasionally Dubai. Maybe I sound jealous but the whole thing made me a bit sad. Yes she's a grown woman, yes she knows what she's doing but imagine having to pretend that you find these old men interesting or sexually attractive?
She apparently specifies 40+ men only so she gets the really rich ones so I bet there's a good chance a lot of them are married, not that it's her fault they're choosing to sleep with prostitutes. I try so hard to be ok with it and think of it as feminist but I still feel it's a bit seedy. I'm trying so hard to not judge!

I think what I don’t like about it (along with page 3, playboy and all that jazz) is the inequality of demand and the message it gives to girls about what they are valued for by men.

I will just leave this here. This cuts to the truth of things, this is what rapists punters think about those sperm receptacles women and girls that they pay for sex.

Spunk receptacles' fgs.

Yes 'fgs' indeed - that's exactly how punters see these women. Disgusting isn't it?

Was waiting for someone to post the old invisible men link.

I think if these girls parents know and have benefitted from then doing it, that’s a sign of abuse all by itself. They’re basically her pimp.

Funny how it’s always disabled men who need to have sex. No one ever suggest disabled women should be provided with a young man to fuck.

www.theguardian.com/global-development/2019/jun/22/trouble-in-paradise-rise-and-fall-of-germany-brothel-king-jurgen-rudloff

Decriminalisation is not picnic either.

CassianAndor that because we all know men have to have sex

Organisations who have done their research tend to agree that criminalizing clients is bad for sex workers, though.

And the conflation of sex work with trafficking is often used to enforce racist/nationalist policies.

Have a listen to episode 4 of Sara Pascoe's "Sex,power and money" where she looks into the world of Sugar Babies. Really interesting and thought provoking.

As MrsT said
It’s the top end of the pile of shit that’s prosititution . Maybe it will bite her . Maybe it Won’t . But it probably will

Anyone who glamourises this is more than a bit thick

Why can’t they criminalise the buying of peoples bodies and made the penalties harsh?

It's not buying a body. Sex workers still own their bodies, they still have bodily autonomy. I don't know why we see all other forms of physical labour (cleaning / heavy lifting etc) as buying a service, but see sex work as buying someone's body. I don't think it's right for you to tell sex workers they don't have ownership over their bodies (and therefore also imply they've lost the right to bodily autonomy). It's a position I've never understood the logic of.

(I'm obviously not talking about trafficked women, which is a separate - although obviously often related - issue)

OmniversalsTapdancingTadpole

Wow . It nails it doesn’t it

Gosh I thought I was unshockable but that nails it really

Women should have more self respect than to want men to fuck them for payment

Would you say that to a woman trafficked , a woman enslaved ? Fucking hope not

"I don't know why we see all other forms of physical labour (cleaning / heavy lifting etc) as buying a service, but see sex work as buying someone's body."

Really, in the context of our society, do you honestly see lifting a box as being the same as being fucked in the arse?

I mean, really really. In your heart of hearts and not just some theoretical level.

If your husband asks you to lift a box, that's the same to you as if he asks if you fancy a shag?

@GlasshouseStoneThrower - I didn’t feel like I had ownership of my body or bodily autonomy. Neither did some of the other ‘sex workers’ on this thread, or others. As someone else said a woman who used to be a prostitute recently posted on MN doing an AMA and it’s very eye opening to those who have never had first hand experience of working in the ‘sex industry’

@LiveInAHidingPlace - I agree with your whole post, it isn’t comparable.

Sex work is predicated on coerced consent. That’s probably why you feel uncomfortable about it. Can anyone really give their consent freely when it’s bought?

It is also predicated on the assumption that it’s totally fine and dandy for men to buy women’s bodies to use for their own pleasure. Personally, I don’t think that’s okay.

That article is takes away the glamour that poor woman being forced to have sex with up to 500 men a month

That is 16 men a day without any days off

I worked in a support group for sex workers they were from all different backgrounds and got involved (or forced to) for all different reasons - all absolutely hated men and worse hated themselves

The physical pain that many women suffer is not often talked about (and not meaning when they have been violently attacked which is often, or forced to do something that causes them pain) some of what I heard made me feel physically sick

It isn't a healthy or normal kind of work. It is intrinsically damaging. Sex is meant to be a form of intimacy and communication, not a form of commerce.

Organisations who have done their research...

Often very heavily infiltrated by pimps, punters and others whose interests are not those of the women involved.

If sex workers didn't have worse PTSD than Vietnam vets, I'd be more inclined to think of it as 'work'.

There is a website where prostitutes discuss punters - I think it is called something like theoldestprofession.co It has been ages since I read it but some of the things they say about the men who use them on there are eye opening - they also warn other women of dangerous men and actually laugh about some of their clients on there. I think men who pay women for sex should read it.

Really, in the context of our society, do you honestly see lifting a box as being the same as being fucked in the arse?

No, but that's not my point. My point is that paying for sex is paying for a service, not a body. I think it's hugely disrespectful to women to state that they don't own their bodies if they are sex workers. Regardless of your views on the nature of the service, it's not right for you to claim that sex workers don't own their bodies. Being paid for a service is not the same as being 'owned' or enslaved, and I think that's true even when the service is sex work.

@AJoeySpecial I absolutely appreciate your viewpoint and I would never argue with you about your own experiences. I understand that a lot of sex workers are sex workers because they don't feel that they have any options, and find it damaging to be sex workers. I don't think that's a good or acceptable thing, and I think there needs to be significantly more support for women who feel that sex work is their only option, or who are financially / emotionally coerced into it. Nobody should be a sex worker out of necessity (just like nobody should be forced into any job they feel is damaging to them), only by choice.

I know it's a very controversial issue, but my view is that decriminalisation of sex work makes it safer for sex workers and helps to address the issue of trafficking. I know that's not a view that all sex workers agree with and I absolutely appreciate that it's not a cure-all solution. But after lots of thinking and listening and researching, it's what I consider to be the safest way of protecting women.

I did it 20 or so years ago in2countries when i ran out of money..Mexico&N.Z..easiest money i ever made&think u need to be a lateral thinker in todays market especially-2many qualified chasing the same poorly paid jobs..Im long term single out of choice btw&consider the nuclear family or any kind of'we share a bed/share bills'relationship is transactory in the way i pay for/receive services..i find ur attitude rather archaeic OP