To ask why I feel sex work is a bit wrong?

[sweatyscruffy]

So I'm fully preparing to get flamed here!
Bf came round last night, I asked her how it was going as her university friends have moved in with her and her dh for a while. Bf's friend was doing webcam work with her dp previously and they were continuing to earn an absolute mint doing it (£30,000 in three months once!) I don't really see anything wrong with it as it's doing what they do anyway with a few cameras filming. The other girl is a medical professional, also part time escort. My bf was telling me about it as if it was the best thing ever. Apparently the agency only takes on clients earning over £50,000, and only contracts girls who know how to talk to and entertain very rich men. It involves a lot of trips to London and Europe, occasionally Dubai. Maybe I sound jealous but the whole thing made me a bit sad. Yes she's a grown woman, yes she knows what she's doing but imagine having to pretend that you find these old men interesting or sexually attractive?
She apparently specifies 40+ men only so she gets the really rich ones so I bet there's a good chance a lot of them are married, not that it's her fault they're choosing to sleep with prostitutes. I try so hard to be ok with it and think of it as feminist but I still feel it's a bit seedy. I'm trying so hard to not judge!

So another question, if most people, who seem to think on similar lines to me, find sex work a bit sad and a symptom of something else, then why are these two girls doing it? Both are privately educated, parents live in multimillion pound houses in north London, one went to Oxbridge, the other is in a similar field to a doctor (but not a doctor.) Is it the thrill? Two fingers to boring career choices? Rebellion against middle class prejudice and prudishness? They met by chance so unlikely both were both abused, and I know their parents are onboard with what they're doing. Webcam friend has paid off parents mortgage with her particular line of work and they seem... proud. What's going on here?

It’s unlikely they were both abused because they met by chance?

The numbers of children, teens and women who are sexually assaulted, raped, physically abused or mentally abused is staggering.

It’s not a thrill to be forced into sex acts you may not want to do or have sex with men you find unattractive.

The fact their parents are proud really tells you all you need to know about why they might do it. Think about what their upbringing was like.

@AsTheWorldTurns - then you might as well say why have any laws at all.

There's an obvious distinction to be made between those laws that create a black market and those that don't, surely you can see that.

As for decriminalising sex work for the women but not the punters, e.g. Sweden- it just doesn't make any sense. Either the penalties for men aren't too onerous, or there's a secondary black market. One of those has to be true.

Because life is not black and white and some people live guided by different sets of morals than others. I'm not a sex worker and never will be, but isn't it possible these friends of yours are just enjoy the thrill of it, like the money and enjoy sex? I'm sure they are the lucky few amongst other prostitutes, but this darker side of life always has and always will be appealing to some.

@AsTheWorldTurns - no one of those does not have to be true, the penalties for the men could be onerous. As they are for lots of other things people do that destroy peoples lives as @BanKittenHeels posted before.

I don't think you have to love the idea. There are lots of jobs I wouldn't do, either because I would find them distressing (working in an abattoir, for instance) or because I would find it morally compromising (being a bailiff). But I don't judge others who do those jobs, and I recognise their right to use their bodies in the form of labour which works for them. We don't have to agree with each other's choices to respect each other's right to make them.

As you can see I have no issue with the top tiers of prostitution,it is run so differently from the lower end of the market,It is like anything really supply and demand

If you are being paid to get fucked up the arse, it doesn't matter whether it's in Dubai, or up a back alley. It's the same act.

'High class prositutes' (LOL) are not 'better' than dug addicted prostitutes.

It is all sad and you can GUARANTEE, somewhere in these women's lives, they will have been damaged by a man which has lead them down this path.

They met by chance so unlikely both were both abused
You’re incredibly naive.
Also their parents are rape apologists. HTH.

isn't it possible these friends of yours are just enjoy the thrill of it, like the money and enjoy sex?

You know you don’t get a say in who you do it with, where, which position, how roughly they fuck your arse with a bottle and then cause you rectal prolapse, right?

Women should have more self respect than to want men to fuck them for payment. Seriously, even if financially you’re gaining a lot turning yourself into a commodity to satisfy the urges of (often married) men is degrading and seedy and just generally grim. Would those advocating that sex work is work be happy for your daughters to do it? Be happy to admit to your friends that that’s what your DD does for a living? Because if you really have no issue with it then you’d be happy for everyone to know, and I just don’t believe anyone would be.

As for this:

No. I know a very disabled man who uses sex workers as women don’t look twice at him due to his disability. What’s wrong with him sharing a bed with someone who gives him what’s known as a girlfriend experience? everything. People might be sexually undesirable for a number of reasons, just because one of those reasons is a disability doesn’t give someone an entitlement to sex. And it’s not a girlfriend experience, it’s paying a hooker for sex. He’s not going to feel loved, it’s just sex. Would it be ok for someone who was say, morbidly obese to hire a hooker because no woman would look at him twice? No? Then why just because someone has a disability does that make it ok?

I’ll put it another way. For those who feel that men should be able to pay for sex because of their disabilities, do you think that women should also? Would you feel comfortable with the notion that a woman with severe disabilities could pay a man to have sex with her, knowing that she wouldn’t be in control of any of it because of her disability? Because I would put money on most not being comfortable with the idea of men being able to have sex with a severely disabled woman because of the power that would give them, and if it’s not ok for a woman then it’s not ok for a man either.

@AsTheWorldTurns - no one of those does not have to be true, the penalties for the men could be onerous. As they are for lots of other things people do that destroy peoples lives as @BanKittenHeels posted before.

I'm afraid you're wrong, It has to be one or the other, it's just a matter of the market finding equilibrium.

Why am I wrong? Why can’t they criminalise the buying of peoples bodies and made the penalties harsh? The laws have been made for other things, they could be made for this too. There’s no reason why not.

A lot of escorts are registered as self-employed and pay tax.
I admit I'm an escort.
Why did I choose it?
Honestly, because I love to fuck and I hate working long hours.I am not pimped. I don't have a drug habit. I don't even drink anymore.
I don't fuck every guy who contacts me. I chose. Same with what we do during our time together, I have choices. I spend time during the initial comms to know what the other person requires. If it's in an area I don't want to visit, I decline. If I cannot be arsed that day I persuade any callers to book for another day. If I want to fuck one or five guys a day, it's entirely my choice.

No, I don't plan on doing this for the remainder of my life. Not because there's anything wrong with it. Once I have made enough to see us through for the remainder of my life, and to support adult dc's I will retire. Something that otherwise would be a far off dream unless I wanted to uproot and live in another part of the country.

Yes, there are risks. But these risks are no different to when I was meeting randoms on places like Tinder. I have things in place that I would never have thought about before, and of course, don't get talked about publicly.

As for all punters don't see us as people. This does not apply to every single punter. I was rushed into hospital and had to make cancellations. Every single one of them contacted me to ask how I was etc. And no it wasn't in a when are you back way. I was even asked if there was anything they could do for me.

Health is taken very seriously. How many times have threads popped up where people have slept without protection? How many after years of changing partners finally get tested? Loads. Yet hookers are regularly tested even though they wear condoms and avoid oils.

Oh, and how many of you knew that we join unions?

Of course, I am not saying that it's like this for everyone. I completely agree that those coerced are given helped and support. It's something I have done myself after I read something between the lines. It's something I would do again.
I am not alone in this.
If anyone should be targeted it is the pimps and the traffickers. Then start with the brothels and agencies who are often worse than pimps.T

I'm not arguing that they can't be harsh. I'm arguing that if they're ideological rather than pragmatic, ie.. they're excessively punitive, they'll just create a secondary black market.

It's the same principle as cigarettes; the higher the sin tax, the stronger the black market.

@astheworldturns - sorry, I don’t think you’re understanding my points so we are talking at cross-purposes, it happens but I’m finding it hard to talk about so I’d rather not explain myself again and have some time away from thread, sorry.

Springtrolls do you have a partner?

Why?

They met by chance so unlikely both were both abused, and I know their parents are onboard with what they're doing.

Do you see how those things could be linked?

I wonder how they would feel about your work springtrolls.

It's punters who have more of an issue. Some cannot handle that they aren't the only person I fuck in general.

He understands my reasons and trusts my judgement. He knows if I am not happy I will leave, he has seen me walk out of jobs when I'd had enough.

And yes females also book male/female escorts.

I don't even understand what the widely parroted 'sex work is work' even means?

Time to share this link again harms of the nordic model.
Much of the anti-sex work legislation is endangering sex workers. It's making it harder for them to screen clients, which increases the risk that a client will do them harm. It is much harder for sex workers (and former sex workers) to run bank accounts, and those who do some or all of their work online are finding their earnings confiscated or theyr online accounts shut down.
Sex workers who do this work of their own volition all agree that no one should be coerced into it, but that penalising them doesn't do anything to help the ones who are being coerced.
Sex

Someone said it was “seedy” behaviour. Let me also add unsavoury. Ugh

I have some experience here.
In my experience, even ‘lovely’ clients are not good people. They know what they’re doing.

However, I’d rather work one night a month and make the same money as toiling min wage school hours 5x per week, breaking my body and exhausting myself. Yes, I feel used as a sw. but I felt more used as a dogsbody.
It’s not a long term solution, but it does give me some choices right now.