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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do teachers actually care?!

118 replies

ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:09

Just curious as DP is a Head of Year to Y8 and he can genuinely say he cares about each of those children very much, has gotten to know them as individuals, especially the ones he teaches as he sees them more but all of them to an extent.

He works with pastoral care at school to help the more vulnerable students, we were in South America in Summer and DP remembered a small group of students in his year group picked that particular country for their DT project so he picked up some small local souvenirs for them etc. He can truthfully say he wouldn’t leave the school until they’ve finished Y11 unless it was a genuine family emergency. Not just because he was offered a ‘better’ job.

Is this normal? Are teachers supposed to care? My DSIS is a teacher and she says it’s just a job and she doesn’t really feel anything for her students (she’s an English teacher and HOu for Y10).

AIBU to ask if you’re a teacher do you care for your students at all?

OP posts:
Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:09

Oh excuse the typos. I meant to say she’s a HOY not HOu Grin

OP posts:
Ghostpost · 15/09/2019 16:12

God, I really hope teachers care about each individual student. I really feel sorry for your sister’s students; I thought teaching was a vocation, like being a doctor.

Maryann1975 · 15/09/2019 16:14

I think that teachers should care about their students, but not to the detriment of their own lives/family/careers. So if he were offered a better job and he wanted to take it, he should have no issue in taking that job if it suits him to do so.

MaryBerrysBomberJacket · 15/09/2019 16:14

I wouldn't do my job if I didn't care because it wouldn't be worth it in the slightest. The pay is nothing for the hours we do and insulting for the amount of pressure and stress we feel.

I care immensely about the kids I teach and will go above and beyond with those I know that need it because they don't get it elsewhere. I wish I could say everything I do is for the kids but I would be lying as, and I quote my new HoD "It isn't an OFSTED priority" is the answer to most of the things that would help them. I still do it because I care, not because it is my job.

Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:15

@Ghostpost

Yes I thought the same. I think teaching is a wonderful profession and I think teachers do really work incredibly hard for their students from seeing what DP does, think getting back from residentials at 2AM and having to be at work the next morning at 7.30 to do Morning Assembly! Which is why I felt quite sad when DSIS told me that and now I’m just curious I suppose if her attitude is normal?

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InionEile · 15/09/2019 16:15

Depends on the individual teacher, I assume? Like in every profession you get some who are very motivated and committed to their jobs and some who just see it as a pay cheque.

swashbucklecheer · 15/09/2019 16:16

Of course we care. That's why we're burnt out, exhausted and guilty of neglecting our own families. Why else would you put yourself through that!?!

superram · 15/09/2019 16:16

I care but I wouldn’t put other people’s kids before my own and if he sees abetted job he should go for it.

MardyLardy · 15/09/2019 16:16

Do you have kids? You care until you have kids (not usually so much that you wouldn’t love job though- you are very replaceable) then you care still but less 😂

Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:18

@Maryann1975 I think my DP would disagree with you there. Obviously it’s personal to him but we’re financially comfortable thanks to my job and his. We don’t ‘need’ DP to move jobs to take a payrise so he would argue that it’s not detrimental to his family.

When we have kids they’ll have both DP and me. Some of his students don’t have loving supportive parents.

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lazylinguist · 15/09/2019 16:18

Teachers are normal human beings (people seem to forget this sometimes) with a normal human range of personalities. So some are by nature more caring than others.

Having said that, I doubt there are that many who choose to go into teaching and don't care about their students. It's a bloody hard job, and if you didn't care you probably wouldn't carry on doing it. Although... I also think teachers' ability to care can also be worn down over the years by persistent poor behaviour from kids, bad working conditions and uncaring management.

Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:20

@swashbucklecheer Please don’t think I was assuming you didn’t! I’ve seen first hand from DP the constant pressure teachers are under and like I said, I think you all are truly brilliant.

DSIS has a different opinion to DH and that’s the only reason I was inquiring.

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CBCB7992 · 15/09/2019 16:20

I think this shows your partners warm caring personality. The fact he is also head of year 8 and works with pastoral care. He obviously cares deeply about his job and the children. For others like your sister it’s more of a job. She’s probably still a great teacher though

I guess it’s similar in most jobs.

Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:22

@superram

No, that’s completely understandable. Perhaps because we don’t have children yet it’s different for us but the way DP sees it, why should he change jobs and take a pay rise when he doesn’t need to we are luckily financially very comfortable and he would rather see his kids through from Y7 to Y11 than leave half way through when he doesn’t need to

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drsausage · 15/09/2019 16:24

DH cared about his students when he was a teacher. Also he cared about his team (he was HOD).

He does a different job now and he cares about his team there too.

The difference is that in his new job he's got the time and resources to take care of his team, whereas as a teacher he just didn't have the time and resources to care about his students.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 15/09/2019 16:24

I suppose some do and some don’t. I can say however, across the three schools my DDs have attended, the overwhelming majority of teachers were in the former group. And I will be eternally grateful to them for it.

exLtEveDallas · 15/09/2019 16:24

My relative has just moved schools because his new Head berated him and moved him out of his post into a 'lesser' post (in his opinion) for "caring too much about the children that aren't going to make it anyway" Shock

Original poster
ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:26

@exLtEveDallas

That’s fucking awful. No other words really.

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FrauHaribo · 15/09/2019 16:26

Some teachers do, some are really old school and go way beyond what you can reasonably expect of them. Others are bitterly surprised that it's not just school hours and really don't care.

You can't put everybody in the same basket!

PuffHuffle5 · 15/09/2019 16:26

I think there’s a healthy inbetween - I think to not care at all is a bit odd (it’s a high stress job that doesn’t offer the greatest amount of money in return, so if you’re not partly doing it because you care about the kids then what’s the point??) but then making sacrifices to your personal life is a bit OTT and there’s no need to be so over invested either.

YaySeptember · 15/09/2019 16:28

I'm a supply teacher so don't really get to know the children I teach but yes, I can honestly say that I care about them. I want to be happy, to enjoy their lessons and to do as well as they can. I do the best that I can for them in the short time I'm with them. If I didn't care, I wouldn't do it. It can be hard to show that you care when their behaviour is poor but a lot of the time there are reasons behind that.

Hederex · 15/09/2019 16:28

I think it depends on the teachers and the ethos of the school.
Mine are still in primary and all their teachers have been very caring, one in particular has taught one of my DSs for two years and really 'gets' him. He makes so much more progress when he's with that teacher.
My own school days were hit and miss. My prep school was frankly atrocious, a bullying culture from top to bottom, but with a few wonderful teachers among the actively cruel ones.
High school very high achieving, some lovely teachers but no one got to know you at least until sixth form.

millysmoo · 15/09/2019 16:29

Ex teacher here, now in a secondary pastoral role. I can honestly say that I care about all my students. If I was totally truthfully, some more than others.

I have worked very closely with certain students for a while now and care about them just like my own children. I think about them when I’m at home and worry that they are ok (difficult home lives). I even miss them during the holidays!

I have a long commute to school and would love to work nearer home, however I know that I would never leave until the current cohort has finished year 11. They are just fab 😁

Pamplemousecat · 15/09/2019 16:30

It’s probably like many in such roles: some Doctors care a great deal, others quite clearly not a bit, same with nurses; many go the extra mile to make sure patients are cared for and comfortable, some are not as bothered and will cut corners. Though given the pressures both professionals are under some of it could be that lack of time can give them a hurried rushed appearance which may well lead to them not being able to spend as much time with each patient/ pupil or see them in as timely manner as they wish to. So sometimes personality will influence and other times it could be lack of time and too much pressure

mizu · 15/09/2019 16:30

Goodness yes! Have taught for donkey's years and my team and I always go the extra mile for students.