Do teachers actually care?!

[ceramicbrains]

Just curious as DP is a Head of Year to Y8 and he can genuinely say he cares about each of those children very much, has gotten to know them as individuals, especially the ones he teaches as he sees them more but all of them to an extent.

He works with pastoral care at school to help the more vulnerable students, we were in South America in Summer and DP remembered a small group of students in his year group picked that particular country for their DT project so he picked up some small local souvenirs for them etc. He can truthfully say he wouldn’t leave the school until they’ve finished Y11 unless it was a genuine family emergency. Not just because he was offered a ‘better’ job.

Is this normal? Are teachers supposed to care? My DSIS is a teacher and she says it’s just a job and she doesn’t really feel anything for her students (she’s an English teacher and HOu for Y10).

AIBU to ask if you’re a teacher do you care for your students at all?

I think most teachers are kidding themselves if they say they care equally about every single one of their pupils, I'm not dying they don't care about them all but IME they don't care equally. I was a very quiet child but not studious or academic, teachers barely even noticed me but given a push they'd have said they care. Lots of children fly under the radar.

Im admin in a school, and see certain students regularly, I do care about them and want to make sure their time in my office is positive and know most of them by name and make sure I learn the names of the new regulars. All the teachers I work with genuinely care about their students too, haven't met any that thinks its just a job.

I think teachers are very under appreciated and I wouldn't blame them at all for losing passion for the job. I think of myself as reasonably successful - personally and professionally - and I can link that back to being lucky enough to have some amazingly inspirational teachers. I was never outstandingly clever but I learned about tolerance, compassion, dedication and self belief. (state schools - I went to quite a few).

I wish I could turn back time and tell them that. I did bump into a former history teacher last year but he didn't remember me

I'm a teacher, I have just got a new class of difficult year 10s who hate my subject and have horrible home lives. I have spent hours this weekend trying to come up with ways to try and get them motivated and support them. I care so much, that's why I do this job.

Yes I care
I love the children and teaching them

But I can't take my worries and concerns home itdbe too much

Like any job, some care a lot, some don't care at all, most will be somewhere between.

One of my son's secondary school teachers really stood out. She was absolutely awesome - I really don't know how she did it. She definitely went above and beyond. Even phoned us up one Saturday afternoon out of the blue to tell us she'd just marked his homework and to say it was one of the best she'd seen.

One of his other teachers really couldn't give a shit. My son had him for 4 out of 5 years, and by year 11, he still didn't know who my son was - had to look at a sheet of pictures when we saw him at parents' evening. First couple of years, that's fine, but after 4 years, he really should know his pupils! He was also incredibly lax with homework/marking etc - he could have the books for a few weeks to mark just one homework. It was also a lottery whether he even bothered to turn up to lessons - several times he'd just not appear, made no cover provisions, didn't set any lesson work, etc.

I think there’s a happy medium between the two extremes you describe which most teachers I’ve met represent (and I’ve been teaching 30 years, so I’ve met quite a few).
We care about all the pupils, but in a professional way. This means they get 100% while we are at work and a residual amount of care the rest if the time - like in your example of buying something because of its usefulness to a class/group of students. However, putting your entire personal and private life second to the pupils is too much. If a job comes up you really want, if something happens which means you need to move areas or reduce your hours it is ridiculous to not go for those things because of a connection with a year group. Suggesting that is the norm is not really healthy.

I care about them but also do not get attached to them. I care about thier wellbeing, thier home life, their progress and I do worry about them but once it comes for time to them to move up to the next class I dont feel upset or attached and am ready for a new set of children. I work in primary so I continue to see them lots which is probably why I am this way. I do have one or two from particularly bad backgrounds that I think of lots so it's not all equal it can depend on need x

Sorry for lack of grammar and punctuation 😂

Op of course they care, but there's a difference to caring and being a martyr. When you say you haven't got your own kids it makes sense why your husband can invest so much emotion and energy into other people's kids. I think his attitude may change once you have your own family.

Teachers are educators, not social workers. Teachers care about the education and wellbeing of the children they teach, I am sure. But there is a limit and teachers have their own lives to lead and sometimes cannot get too invested in others lives, this can be very emotionally draining.

I care. Pretty much every teacher I've worked with cares (only one exception). You'd be very unwise to get into it for the money so you need to be in it for the love of it! Anyway I care an awful lot for my kids.

Im not even a teacher, im support staff and i care. I take in fruit and cereal bars for the children who come in with having had no breakfast, i keep all the coats my kids grow out of in case one of the children doesn't have a winter coat, i take in extras when we have a bake sale so that none of the kids look like they have nothing to give, i run an after school club so that they don't go home alone.
Lots of school staff go above and beyond.

Some will some won’t, my sons reception teacher loved him she was really fond of him and was genuinely sad when she was going to be no longer teaching him. His year 1 teacher was the opposite!

Evedallas that's horrendous but totally the sort of thing I cocked imagine happening in my ds first secondary school (we thankfully moved him away from!)

I think it's perfectly 'normal' to care that much but just as 'normal' to see it as a job.

Yes, having children of your own (if you do) may change that. Possibly both emotionally and physically but certainly by the amount of spare time you have to devote.

Our current executive head is one of these who cares greatly. The partner changed jobs to be the sahp and went back PT to lesser role so they could pursue theirs.
We've also had other staff who dedicate themselves this much.
I've also worked with teachers who I look at and wonder why they even do the job. They don't even appear to want to teach.

But I guess everyone can get trapped and bogged down - and a career change isn't always as easy as we'd like it to be.

School Business Manager here. I can tell you it’s not just the teachers that care in my school, but the whole staff team. We are a very nurturing school in an area of high deprivation. Working at my school isn’t easy, the challenges the children and their families face are often extreme, and the support they need is great.

We know that we all have a part to play in educating and being positive role models to our pupils. For example, I run a drama group after school, lunchtime ICT club and am part of a local forum that acquires and distributes food to local families in need. I’ve driven round on Christmas Eve picking up short dated food from Tesco, and delivering it to our families.

There have been so many times that I’ve come home worrying about children, or shared with my family wonderful milestones that pupils have reached. It’s an absolute privilege to serve our community so, yes, we really do care about the children.

It’s complicated. Before I had children, I cared a lot for my students and routinely went above and beyond. I had lovely relationships with most of them, and was hugely invested in their results. One Y11 group did so well, and I still remember their results day. It was one of my best days ever, not just professionally but personally as well, because I was so proud of them.

Since having children, though, I work part time, and I find it difficult to be as invested as I was before. I still want them to do well, and I try hard to do my job well, but I am tired and pulled in a lot of different directions. I just don’t have the energy that I used to. I will say, though, that I still tend to develop quite close relationships with my KS4 pupils. I teach them for two years, so we get to know each other quite well and I put a lot of effort into helping them to achieve the best possible results. I definitely feel a strong sense of obligation to them.

I cared about my pupils when I taught, went the extra mile, organised things for them, washed PE kits etc. However that did not stop me taking another job (out of teaching in fact) when the ideal one came up. My mental health and family come first.
I think most teachers care for their pupils but I’m going to be controversial here - teaching would be a much better profession if teachers put their health and families first, then pupils, and finally careers (including Ofsted) in that order and all managers tried to make that so and led by example. I’m sure your DH is not like this, but I’ve worked for middle managers who did put the pupils first actually to the detriment to the rest of us - they worked so hard because it was ‘for the kids’, that it became accepted by senior management and if you didn’t devote every waking hour to caring about the kids weren’t seen as a team player.

in our family's experience we have had a yes and a no
and before people say oh you should have moved schools it dont work like that here(im deep in the valleys of south wales)you go to your village school,same with doctors.the next village one is for them and as we are small villages theres always plenty of space

1 child was bullied by his y 5 teacher,after a pushing incident i took him out(he was 10 at the time)for months i,the oldest and his class mates was telling the head there was bullying behavior going on but he kept dismissing it as her being strict.we moved 10-11 villages away half way though the school year.this went on a few months then practically overnight he a nervous breakdown(lasted 3 and half years)

the other was questionable neglect or a small village school not knowing what to do with a non verbal child .

he was 6y old in y1(same as oldest moved halfway through the school year) and was put to the side to play for months as because he was non verbal and the gdd meant he was mentally 3 they didnt know what to do with him,it didnt help they put y1/y2 together and there was 45-50 kids per class

special schools dont exist here(nearest one is miles away and you have to be severely disabled)

home education was the best thing i came across,if i knew it existed neither or my kids would have ever entered a school building

then we had a y3/4 teacher,he had him for 2 years(old school)that did all he could to try and help the oldest with his disabilities and him being behind 2-3 years
same school we had a nursery/reception teacher that let youngest repeat that year instead of going in to y1,when they changes schools they made him go in to the y1-y2 class

i reported the y5 teacher and after months of investigation her and the head,who covered up my months of complaints"disappeared"from the school and a new head was apointed

after i took them out and i was dealing with a breakdown i left it lie as i had to much on my plate and was glad to wash my hands of them tbh and we wanted to move forward

I would imagine it’s the same as most jobs-some more than others.

Just like nurses, doctors, care workers.

I am an experienced secondary teacher and the longer I teach the less I care! More and more students (and parents) have a real sense of entitlement- that the entire school, its staff and resources should be focused on their child and their only. This manifests itself in an arrogance that means it’s the teachers fault when these children don’t get the results they think they deserve. No, it’s not the teachers fault- the child just isn’t bright or didn’t do enough work- or both!

And the more that parents treat teachers like some sort of customer service agents where they come in and complain in a rude and disrespectful way- the less I care about their child!

I have a friend who qualified as a reception teacher about 4 years ago.

The way she talks about the kids she looks after makes me feel bloody sad. She definitely does not care.

Teachers in general do care and feel they have a responsibility for their students. It's how governments and management get away with paying us shit and treating us like idiots who can't be trusted to do a professional job.

Someone - I forget who - wrote a whole article about why teaching is like being in an abusive relationship: you get abused and gaslighted and deep down you know it's happening and you're worth more, but you stay in it for the sake of the children.

I'm training to be a teacher at the moment (halfway through, part time course) and I set out trying NOT to care. I wasnt going to get sucked in to people's problems, I wasnt going to ask about hobbies or interests, I was just there to do a job, that's how I'd heard teachers get burnt out, and that wasn't going to be me, no way.
One year on and, for me, it's impossible not to care. The kids are infuriating, inspiring, annoying and sometimes downright brilliant, and I care about and want the best for every single one. Needless to say, all of my original "good intentions" went out the window long ago, and that's probably why I love my job.

I think you haven to keep a healthy distance from the children you teach. When I taught I certainly never thought about the children when I was at home with my own family. I find it odd that anyone would.

I'm a teacher and I care about all of my students. I'd be a pretty shit teacher if I didn't