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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do teachers actually care?!

118 replies

ceramicbrains · 15/09/2019 16:09

Just curious as DP is a Head of Year to Y8 and he can genuinely say he cares about each of those children very much, has gotten to know them as individuals, especially the ones he teaches as he sees them more but all of them to an extent.

He works with pastoral care at school to help the more vulnerable students, we were in South America in Summer and DP remembered a small group of students in his year group picked that particular country for their DT project so he picked up some small local souvenirs for them etc. He can truthfully say he wouldn’t leave the school until they’ve finished Y11 unless it was a genuine family emergency. Not just because he was offered a ‘better’ job.

Is this normal? Are teachers supposed to care? My DSIS is a teacher and she says it’s just a job and she doesn’t really feel anything for her students (she’s an English teacher and HOu for Y10).

AIBU to ask if you’re a teacher do you care for your students at all?

OP posts:

Chosennone · 15/09/2019 20:07

I'm a head of dept. I care. But i would probably be better in a Pastoral role than curriculum. I care enough to work hard and encourage and support students. Then its up to them. I won't punish, bully, pile on the pressure, with staff or students. I also will not do the work for them.

I'm more concerned about whether they are happy and healthy and engaging the best they can than pushing them a grade above the expected national average🙄. Students i know well, have affected me, and there is a current student involved in County Lines that i have lost sleep over!

Bluetac19 · 15/09/2019 20:11

I never stop thinking about my class. I worry about them all the time. I buy them things constantly to make sure lessons are fun. I buy revision guides for less able pupils, I run shed loads of clubs to help kids enjoy school or catch up. I care about them so much. I care about their learning far more than they do and often far more than their parents do!

Stardustmoon · 15/09/2019 20:12

I am a primary teacher and yes I care about the children I teach. I cry each year they leave my class and have always had a bond with my class.

Strictly1 · 15/09/2019 20:12

In some ways it would be easier if I didn't - I would sleep better, have less worries and work less, but yes, I do care and I hope that those that teach my son care too!

Stardustmoon · 15/09/2019 20:16

I've taught four years now so four year groups and I've cared about each of my classes. I've cried at the end of each year as I've always ended up with a bond. I'm primary though so see those children everyday from 8.30-3.30. You get to know them so well and want them to do their best. I've gone home and worried about children, I've been up until midnight making extra resources to help certain children and I've made them personalised gifts at the end of the year. I'm a mother as well as a teacher and know I care about my class as much as I would want a teacher go care about my boys. I'm currently on a break for a year but am already thinking about next year when I'm back at work and collecting stickers etc for my new class. I don't think you can be in this job and not care. It is a vocation.

Sodepressedbyteaching · 15/09/2019 20:25

@Bluetac19
Are you an NQT? In a primary school?
I’m a HOD and if you were in my team I would be extremely concerned about your approach to the job. That leave of intensity is not sustainable and nor does it necessarily make you a good teacher. It is possible to be an outstanding practitioner by setting boundaries and limits to what you will and won’t do. Schools often rely on the guilt factor where teachers will do more than that is expected in their contracts often to make up for budget shortfalls, poor parenting and lack of social care. Be careful not to fall into the trap!

ThisHereMamaBear · 15/09/2019 20:36

I'm a teacher and definitely care about the children. It's what makes the job so rewarding but equally so tiring too. Each night I go to bed worrying about them all!

AravisTarkheena · 15/09/2019 20:36

Surely there can be a middle ground between caring too much and being a jaded jobsworth. I don’t think it’s helpful when teaching (or healthcare) is conceived of as ‘a vocation’. You can be a good teacher and still say no to residentials, or not want to do clubs. You don’t have to subsume yourself into the role. I care but I don’t have the maniacal zeal some do.

LolaSmiles · 15/09/2019 20:59

Sodepressedbyteaching
I agree with you. Though well intentioned, BlueTac's approach would worry me as well. It's not a healthy level of investment and more often than not hinders the ability of staff to do their best job.

AravisTarkheena You're right. There is a middle ground. Lots of teachers on here have shown it (and I'd be guessing they're probably the ones who are stronger teachers and more able to last long in the profession). I'd also imagine they're the ones with the thick skin who are sympathetic but have high standards and also support parents whilst not taking any crap.

crazycatgal · 15/09/2019 21:04

I'm a primary teacher and I care about my pupils. I have boundaries and high expectations of behaviour but the children know that I'm here for them and that I care, some of them have a shit time at home.

SheilaHammond · 15/09/2019 21:05

100% what@lolasmiles said.

Yes we care a lot but boundaries are important. Saviour-superhero teachers don't help anyone in the long term.

I do my best every day but I don't worry at home or in the holidays. I can't fix all the horrible home lives but I can teach well and help them get a ticket to a better life.

schoolsoutforever · 15/09/2019 21:29

Yes, very much so. But it is a job and I would move schools if I wanted to. There is no reason children shouldn't be resilient enough to deal with a teacher leaving. That does seem like an over-investment to me. However, I do care very much and each student is very much an individual.

CassianAndor · 15/09/2019 21:36

So, Your DP won’t leave that job until his current year 8s have finished their GCSEs.

What about next years Year 8s? Or is it just this year’s Year 8s?

PamEars · 15/09/2019 21:46

Head of years often move up the school with the same year group

PamEars · 15/09/2019 21:47

So he'd be their year head when he left

Bluetac19 · 16/09/2019 00:45

No I'm not an NQT. I've been teaching a long time. Yes it's primary.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/09/2019 00:58

I believe the majority do.
It is not the type of job you train for these days if you hate DC.
There are so many options out there for the educated they choose a caring role, although summer holiday time off would be tempting too.

Jbraise · 16/09/2019 12:26

Of course we care but we also switch off. It is nice when kids and parents show respect but unfortunately some don’t . Just this morning I’ve had a girl walk out of class . She’s 7.

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