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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely disgusted with myself?

223 replies

Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 02:32

NC because of the shame involved.

Back in May I started getting an itchy scalp. I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away by using different hair products, the change of season, blah blah. It has been getting worse, though, so I googled and deduced I probably had seborrhoeic dermatitis. I booked a GP appointment and was considering buying some Neutrogena T-gel.

Then this evening A BUG FELL OUT OF MY HAIR. I have fucking LICE and I didn't know! My DD (16) spotted it and was really shocked. She then had a good look at my scalp and could see at least 4 or 5 creatures crawling about. Even typing this makes me want to curl into the foetal position. I freaked out and rushed out to the nearest 24-hour supermarket, and have spent the last few hours scraping my scalp with a nit comb until it practically bled (I cannot tell you the stuff I pulled out) and applying the overnight treatment to shampoo off tomorrow.

I'm ashamed, mortified and disgusted. Four months! I have stayed with friends, been to the hairdresser, gone on holiday... How did this happen? Is this normal? Do other adult women randomly get nits? My DD hasn't got any, we don't think (of course we'll do the treatment on her tomorrow too, just in case). Should I have thought of it sooner? Is it my fault? And is it like an STD? Do I have to warn anyone I might have infected? The shame!

I'm sitting here freaking out, wondering what the heck I will find on the towel that is currently wrapped around my head tomorrow. Sleep seems an impossibility.

If this has ever happened to any of you, please put my mind at ease. I've never had lice in my life - just in case this seems a bit of an overreaction.

OP posts:
tokentotty · 15/09/2019 21:27

Probably going to be rather controversial here and the world will go mad at me, but.... I put a couple of drops of flea treatment for small pets on the crown of my daughters’ heads every 8-12 weeks. In a classroom full of nits, mine have never had them since I started. It’s a bloody God send as previously it was rife. Apparently if you do the treatment and they already have them you can watch them jumping off!! 🤢🤢

Timandra · 15/09/2019 21:31

Nitty gritty is great for normal hair, it’s rubbish on thick hair or curly hair.

No issues with it in our family and we have ridiculously thick and wavy hair.

Nitty gritty and lots of conditioner work perfectly well. You do have to be systematic and thorough but it works. It's much better than having to wash the oil out of your hair which is a nightmare when you have really thick hair.

alwaysanauntie · 15/09/2019 21:32

@buginmyrug no need to be ashamed at all! When I was 14 I went on a PGL trip to France & had itchy red spots on my thighs a few weeks later. Several trips to the GP (who told me it was probably viral & prescribed steroid cream) and several months later, my cousin (who is a doctor) exclaimed after examining me at a family party "that's not viral - you've got scabies!". These are delightful mites that burrow under your skin, particularly enjoying warm snuggly places like under you boobs & between your fingers.

The treatment was quick (a few days), but I've gone on to get it 3 more times from various hotels/hostels when I was younger so now recognise the symptoms in a flash, but to have my dad include all the details of my various scabies sagas during his speech at my wedding truly was shameful... thanks Dad! Hmm Blush

Timandra · 15/09/2019 21:33

I put a couple of drops of flea treatment for small pets on the crown of my daughters’ heads every 8-12 weeks.

WTF?

You flood your DDs' bloodstreams with pesticides every 2 to 3 months?

dmango · 15/09/2019 21:39

Happened to me, completely the same thing. I spent a fortune on stuff for my dry scalp but actually had head lice😱. I'm a teacher so probably occupational hazard.

KUGA · 15/09/2019 21:47

Stop beating yourself up.
As an adult we think we are immune to the little shits.
ITS not a decease its something that happens to millions of humans and is treatable.
As someone suggested wash all bedding etc and wash your hairbrush daily.

BiologyIsntBigoted · 15/09/2019 21:48

I'm an ex daycare manager and caught them as an adult a few tones as did my colleagues.

Its not uncommon or rare for adults to get them as they can catch them from their children.

The Info sheet the schools send out say on the leaflet to treat the whole family of they find their children have them.

Katex888 · 15/09/2019 21:51

Thanks I’m here scratching my scalp my face and my neck thinking they are all over me.
I got nits via my DS, I felt horrendous I wanted to shave my hair off. Luckily I calmed down and I’m not an egg head right now. I used all the treatments within a week, but I felt so dirty.

manicmij · 15/09/2019 22:14

The nits are probably very recent. The hairdresser assuming in a salon, if she spotted them would have to clean the whole place out. Local hairdresser had this problem once and shop had to close to be fumigated. Hope your problem is resolved now.

cooldarkroom · 15/09/2019 22:30

You can pick them up on trains & planes, it just depends who has had their head on the headrest before you !
remember to wash sheets towels, hats, & vap your car head rests & sofa..
though they don't like big hot sun, if there is any you can stick your blankets/duvets outside. Or in the freezer !

Queenofeverything44 · 15/09/2019 22:54

Just a tip lice hate hair straighteners. I'm allergic to a lot of chemicals and it's massively curly and thick so nit combs don't work. So once when I caught them off one of my kids and being unable to comb them out I thought oooh I know if I straighten my hair I can comb it easier. When I did comb it they were all dead..😂😂😂

Iwanttobeagranny · 15/09/2019 22:57

This happened to my friend, she had been to the GP about it and had also had highlights done at her usual salon, constantly complained to her husband about it etc. We were on holiday together and she was telling me about her burning, itchy head...I looked down at her head, I was standing over her...it was a heaving mass of nits!! No biggy, we got stuff from the chemist and got rid x

Queenofeverything44 · 15/09/2019 23:03

These chemicals are deadly.. You're not even allowed it on you're hands. It's not controversial it downright dangerous wtaf!! Do you know what the side effects of long term use these have on human being especially children.. Woman you are not right in the head

SlaaartyBaaardFaaast · 15/09/2019 23:34

@tokentotty... You know that those pet de-flea- ing chemicals are dangerous to humans, right?

GreenTulips · 15/09/2019 23:42

Timandra

Try skin so soft by Avon, spray leave 15 mins and comb out. Wash hair twice and no oily residue. And cheap.

Fumnudge · 16/09/2019 00:02

Redo the treatment on day 8-9 after the initial treatment. They hatch day 6-7 after being laid but can't reproduce til much later so you'll kill the lice before they can get jiggy and lay eggs.
Then you don't have to panic that you haven't combed out all the eggs initially (as treatment doesn't always manage to kill the eggs due to their tricky to penetrate shells).

BiologyIsntBigoted · 16/09/2019 00:05

I don't think your even supposed to use human head lice treatment as a regular long term thing.

I know when my sister was young and was constantly getting re infected at school the doctor said he he can't keep prescribing the lotion stuff due to the chemicals not being safe used so often.

Using an animals pesticide regularly on a child as a preventative sounds dangerous and more has potential to cause more long term harm that head lice themselves.

QueefLatifah · 16/09/2019 00:20

Flea chemicals on your children WHAT THE FUUUUCK

DreamTheMoors · 16/09/2019 00:29

You may feel dirty & icky but you aren’t. Shit happens. But someone had to pass them along to you. Did you borrow someone’s hairbrush or were you around any small children? Think. And I’d have DF all use the treatment just in case. Wash your sheets & towels etc.
You’ll feel better tomorrow. Don’t be hard on yourself because you did nothing wrong!

VK456 · 16/09/2019 00:36

I got nits every time my kids got them.
My son had them for the first time in the infants and I felt awful because he was crawling with them and I never noticed until I washed his hair.
Ironically I never had them as a child!

MiniMum97 · 16/09/2019 00:51

If you'd had lice since May your head would be crawling with them. I think it's likely the lice are more recent.

Dilligaf81 · 16/09/2019 01:02

I got them as an 18/19 year old and the hairdresser told me. That was embarrassing!
I don't think you have had them that long as the hairdresser would have spotted them.
Luckily I've never had them again as my hair has tight corkscrew curls so a bloody nightmare verging on impossible for a nit comb to deal with.

aariah08 · 16/09/2019 01:29

Meh, no big deal. These things happen when you’ve got kids. Had to treat everyone for worms recently, cause I had an itchy butt!

Jack80 · 16/09/2019 07:09

You will now be lice free, I've had them through my daughter and then my youngest got them, horrid little things, just get rid of them. Dont be ashamed it happens and then get some T gel for your scalp.

Timandra · 16/09/2019 07:53

Try skin so soft by Avon, spray leave 15 mins and comb out. Wash hair twice and no oily residue. And cheap.

Thanks for the recommendation but normal conditioner does a great job alongside a nitty gritty comb Smile