AIBU to be absolutely disgusted with myself?

[Buginmyrug]

NC because of the shame involved.

Back in May I started getting an itchy scalp. I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away by using different hair products, the change of season, blah blah. It has been getting worse, though, so I googled and deduced I probably had seborrhoeic dermatitis. I booked a GP appointment and was considering buying some Neutrogena T-gel.

Then this evening A BUG FELL OUT OF MY HAIR. I have fucking LICE and I didn't know! My DD (16) spotted it and was really shocked. She then had a good look at my scalp and could see at least 4 or 5 creatures crawling about. Even typing this makes me want to curl into the foetal position. I freaked out and rushed out to the nearest 24-hour supermarket, and have spent the last few hours scraping my scalp with a nit comb until it practically bled (I cannot tell you the stuff I pulled out) and applying the overnight treatment to shampoo off tomorrow.

I'm ashamed, mortified and disgusted. Four months! I have stayed with friends, been to the hairdresser, gone on holiday... How did this happen? Is this normal? Do other adult women randomly get nits? My DD hasn't got any, we don't think (of course we'll do the treatment on her tomorrow too, just in case). Should I have thought of it sooner? Is it my fault? And is it like an STD? Do I have to warn anyone I might have infected? The shame!

I'm sitting here freaking out, wondering what the heck I will find on the towel that is currently wrapped around my head tomorrow. Sleep seems an impossibility.

If this has ever happened to any of you, please put my mind at ease. I've never had lice in my life - just in case this seems a bit of an overreaction.

I have hair which seems to hide nits well. If my scalp gets itchy I treat us all and that seems to keep on top of it. They spread like wild-fire round schools.

I checked my DD's hair because she said it was itchy. It looked fine and I sent her on her way. A while later I saw something move. Her whole head was swarming with them. How on earth I didn't notice sooner I have no idea. I felt like the worse mother in the world.

In four months you wouldn't only have a few.

A while later = a good few weeks later, I mean.

I feel for you!
The last time I was in the UK, we were about halfway through our trip (and had stayed at friends' houses as well as my Dad's) when it became apparent that my boys both had nits.
Not only that, but they'd had them since before we got to the UK (judging by the size and quantity of the fuckers).

AND - for the first time in my life - I had them too!! Never had them as a child, or any of the other times my kids have had them, but this time - yeah.
Thanks kids.

It did give me the chance to buy a Nitty Gritty though, which is an excellent comb. AND the best stuff to get rid of them was Nitwit (which is actually an Aussie formula, and since they were Aussie nits, it worked really well)

So I cleared the boys in 2 goes (because I used Vamousse first, which didn't do it) and mine went after one go with Nitwits.

Can't fault the Nitty Gritty though - heaps more effective than any other comb, even metal ones, that I've used before.

And now my head is itching...

I'm now sitting here scratching my head ....

I called my surgery demanding an appointment for an itchy scalp, and explained to the nurse that I absolutely did not have nits and that it was a skin disorder and I needed a referral to a dermatologist.

Sadly, it was nits.

Really feel for you, it's so grim.

One of the treatments for head lice is based on an oily formula - insects don't have lungs, they breathe through tiny holes in their exoskeletons, so a coating of oil all over them suffocates them. They cannot become immune to this, as it's not a chemical reaction per se. I think it's Hedrin, would have to go up and look in our bathroom cabinet to be sure. We've only had one infestation some six/seven years ago so have been quite lucky.

The threadworms on the other hand... so grim.

Totally agree with other posters, you've only had them a short time, the itchy scalp you had before was from an unrelated cause I'm sure. That screaming junior in the hairdressers a PP mentioned would have been well and truly ticked off by me if I was her manager - just imagine how embarrassed the young customer would have been! So thoughtless.

. I thought you were going to admit to something truly shameful like voting leave or something. You need to get a bit of perspective. There are hundreds of posters on Mumsnet right now, this very minute, who have cancer in it's various forms. Ridiculous levels of drama over a few nits!!
There’s always one.

Op I’m interested to hear the other stuff you pulled out!

This has happened to me. I went to a christening with my DSs and then stayed at a friends over night and the following day found out that my youngest DS and I were crawling with lice! I was mortified, spent the day treating the pair of us. I did tell my friends as thought it was only fair that they check to make sure they didn't have them.

My DD 3 has been itching her head for a few days, I checked and couldn't see anything.... but wasn't really sure what I was looking for.
So I googled it.... and yep she has Nits.... sending DH down the pharmacy for some nit shampoo.. Happy Saturday!!

Don't treat DD unless you find lice or eggs in her hair

My daughter freaked out big time when she caught nits. I spent hours telling her it was nothing to be ashamed of etc etc. Then I realised I had them too... I did my freaking out (even bigger time) in private though. Your hairdresser would have noticed the nits if you'd had them then; I'd put it down to randomly itchy scalp for ages, followed by a coincidental short bout of nits. You'll be fine tomorrow,

P.s. I'm scratching now.

Poor you OP. I had headlice pretty much constantly in my last two years of Senior school. My mum got to the end of her tether trying product after product (Prioderm is vile) and nightly wetcombing to get rid of the buggers. I got them again when my DS started school but I didn't realise for a week or so as he has itchy/flaky scalp anyway and didn't connect the extra scratching until i bathed him and noticed something moving - gah!!
Cue a dash to late night pharmacy to treat us all.

I think nits are a right of passage and everyone gets them. If your hairdresser didn't notice then I doubt you had them then as they would have seen them.

Make sure to wash all bedding/towels on a hot wash, change your hairbrush and wet comb a few more times over the next week to catch any eggs and you'll be fine.

Yes you are massively overreacting, but it's like anything - if you're not used to it I guess it's a shock when you first get them. It's not remotely shameful though - I find that reaction, which I've only ever seen on MN, really weird. How is it any different to being bitten by a mosquito? It's not your fault. You can have nits without itching by the way. Not everyone itches so they're easy to miss.

Comb through once a week with a Nitty Gritty comb and conditioner to check and also that way they would never get out of control even if you do get them again.

Throughout her (normal, wide social range) primary school, DD never got nits.
Now in what I consider an up-and-coming junior school she’s had them about 6 times in 2 years! Ballet schools are supposedly a hotbed of lice. Also synchronized swimming with all that gunk they put in their hair.
I’ve caught them from her twice (she’s a hugger) and now I clean out and scrutinize the hair from our brushes EVERY SINGLE DAY. As well as checking once a week with a nit comb when we do an intensive hair mask.
It’s not nice. Nobody wants to be infested with parasites and it’s very easy to look for someone to blame among her friends. I just privately inform the head of our parents’ WhatsApp group and they put out a call to check.

Do the treatment. Put all bedding, especially pillows, for 24hrs in the freezer. Wash all hats and hooded coats. Disinfect brushes and start again...

Head lice and nits - Illnesses & conditions | NHS inform
www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/skin-hair-and-nails/head-lice-and-nits

How you get head lice. Head lice are spread by direct head to head contact. They climb from one person's hair to another's. Head lice: can't fly, jump or swim; are very unlikely to be spread by objects such as hats, combs and pillows; don't have a preference for dirty, clean, short or long hair; only affect people and can't be caught from animals

Op I’m interested to hear the other stuff you pulled out!

Lots of lice. Some tiny and almost see through, some massive and dark, apparently due to having gorged on my blood. Many eggs, some with what visibly appeared to be tiny lice inside about to burst through. And lots and lots and lots of tiny black dots which, according to the paediatrician on the NHS website, are their droppings.

I'm trying to stay calm and retain perspective, but a part of me wants to go and shave my hair right now. I won't.

I'm sending DH to the shops shortly to get me a Nitty Gritty. I will use it on DH too without the chemical treatment, just conditioner, to check up on her. As some people have said, it'll be amazing if she hasn't got any.

Again, super grateful for all the advice and similar stories.

I am a little surprised by how the hairdressers reacted up thread. I was discussing this with my hairdresser - he told me about a client who now comes to him because her teenage daughter was humiliated at a hairdressing salon because she hadn't been aware she had nits, and she was made to feel a pariah in front of other clients when her hairdresser announced the presence of nits to her (and everyone else at the salon!)

He said if he discovered nits he would get the client to come over to a quiet part of the salon on some pretext and then tell them calmly and without judgement out of earshot of others. He would even carry on styling their hair (obviously would take appropriate precautions with the combs, scissors he used etc) rather than have them abruptly leave the salon with damp hair etc, clearly unfinished (and thus immediately apparent to other customers what was going on)

Anyways - back to the thread. Op I have had nits as an adult (picked up from the children when they were at primary school). After the initial 'ick' response you do start to realise that its no big deal and you can effectively eradicate them without too much trouble

Another poster said she felt she may have picked them up on public transport - not easily done but it is feasible, if you happen to rest your head on a head rest of the seat which minutes earlier had been used by someone with nits.

I have long hair, and I had lice regularly when the kids were small. I remember lying awake on the night before a holiday, feeling a stinging sensation in my scalp and thinking, 'they're back again'. A metal comb and chemicals from Boots sorted it out. No problems for well over a decade now - I'd almost forgotten it!

Call your husband on the way to the shops and tell him to pick up Hedrin - it doesn't contain insecticides and other nasties. It works by coating the lice so they physically can't move or eat or excrete water. Its more effective then simply using conditioner and lice combing

She came out and her head was CRAWLING. Five of the fuckers. Just crawling

Five lice is nothing - if that's all she had she was hardly crawling with them . The most I've counted was 24 from Ds head - it was our first encounter and even dd who was about 4 sat and counted them as I wiped the comb on kitchen roll. Great way to occupy the kids for an hour I've had them but caught them early. However some of the empty eggs were still on my hair a couple of months later as they were further from my scalp when Dh spotted them. Pharmacist said to rinse with vodka as that would unstick the gluey stuff that attached them to the hair. Luckily I'd given up drink so I used the last of my vodka to do that.

@Buginmyrug make sure someone else goes through your hair. You really need to have someone section off your hair and literally pick the eggs out with their fingernails. The combs, even nitty gritty, won't catch them all. Do this for the next week at least, to ensure that there aren't any left to hatch. Hopefully your Dh will be co-operative.

I got them loooong before having DS, when all my friends were also childfree and I was equally appalled, OP, so I sympathise (I am still not sure how I managed to get them - either standing too close to someone else's nitty kid while bending over a stall at the market, or from going on too many demos with crusties...)

I'm kind of hardened to haveing them now as DS was a nitmonster for about three years...

I agree - the combs won't catch them all, which is why it is helpful to use hedrin (I don't have a commercial interest in hedrin - just found it very effective)

Yeah, have had them a few times, bit I work with children so consider it an occupational hazard. Doesn’t take much.