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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely disgusted with myself?

223 replies

Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 02:32

NC because of the shame involved.

Back in May I started getting an itchy scalp. I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away by using different hair products, the change of season, blah blah. It has been getting worse, though, so I googled and deduced I probably had seborrhoeic dermatitis. I booked a GP appointment and was considering buying some Neutrogena T-gel.

Then this evening A BUG FELL OUT OF MY HAIR. I have fucking LICE and I didn't know! My DD (16) spotted it and was really shocked. She then had a good look at my scalp and could see at least 4 or 5 creatures crawling about. Even typing this makes me want to curl into the foetal position. I freaked out and rushed out to the nearest 24-hour supermarket, and have spent the last few hours scraping my scalp with a nit comb until it practically bled (I cannot tell you the stuff I pulled out) and applying the overnight treatment to shampoo off tomorrow.

I'm ashamed, mortified and disgusted. Four months! I have stayed with friends, been to the hairdresser, gone on holiday... How did this happen? Is this normal? Do other adult women randomly get nits? My DD hasn't got any, we don't think (of course we'll do the treatment on her tomorrow too, just in case). Should I have thought of it sooner? Is it my fault? And is it like an STD? Do I have to warn anyone I might have infected? The shame!

I'm sitting here freaking out, wondering what the heck I will find on the towel that is currently wrapped around my head tomorrow. Sleep seems an impossibility.

If this has ever happened to any of you, please put my mind at ease. I've never had lice in my life - just in case this seems a bit of an overreaction.

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 14/09/2019 10:38

It’s really not a big deal.

It really wouldn’t occur to be to be ashamed of that.

Aridane · 14/09/2019 10:40

Be disgusted - but not at yourself

OrchidInTheSun · 14/09/2019 10:45

Nitty gritty, a massive bottle of cheap conditioner and a big roll of kitchen paper. Comb your hair first with an ordinary comb/brush (and throw it away/sterilise after) and then smother your hair in conditioner. Comb with nitty gritty, wipe off nits on kitchen roll. Repeat over and over until you are no longer pulling out any nits.

Do this every couple of days for a week - you'll have hardly any the next time if you do it properly the first time.

It takes ages though so listen to a good podcast or something

Original poster
Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 10:48

Noted about the Hedrin too, and the need to have someone else go through my hair. The thing is, I had asked my DH to check my hair a couple of times because of the itching (thinking more along the lines of psoriasis or eczema patches) and he saw nothing. He has really bad eyesight, bless him. Hopefully DD will cooperate, although she was just as grossed out as me last night. I'm letting her lie in but I'm going to have to deliver the bad news (that she's very likely to have them, too) as soon as she wakes up. We will have to agree to a mutual monkey-style grooming sesh! 😁

OP posts:
Justaboy · 14/09/2019 10:59

Thye say that lice prefer cleaner hair;!

BelindasGleeTeam · 14/09/2019 11:07

I would also treat your DD and DH in case they have picked them up.

I got them from the kids once. Grim but quick to treat. Hedrin or similar, combing and repeat the treatment stage after 10-14 days to catch any hatchlings you missed. Done.

Aprillygirl · 14/09/2019 11:17

It is a shocker if you've never had them before- I have a few times (the hazards of being close and cuddly with the kids, who in turn were close and huggy with their little friends) but there's really no need for the dramatics. So long as you haven't had head to head contact I doubt you've passed them on to anyone else. Saying that yours must have come from somewhere. Have you checked your dd's hair?

forestdweller11 · 14/09/2019 11:29

Happened to me recently . Thought it was some tablets that had a listed side effect of itching. I bought both medicated and vegan shampoos . My dp supposedly went through my hair... Six weeks later I'm itching like mad, keeping me awake at night. I get a telephone appointment with Dr, who queries whether it's nits... I say no... He makes me an appointment in the surgery. Literally 1 minute after I'd put the phone down a massive nit fell out of my hair. Conditioner and nitty gritty revealed a massive infestation (properly infested !!!!) How we'd missed them I don't know. Two lots of hedrin I'm nearly clear... Nitty gritty and conditioner are your friend!

woodymiller · 14/09/2019 11:44

I was at a concert with DD and I could see the headlice crawling over the woman in front's parting. She had long wavy hair that was swishing about when she stood up to dance. I felt like I should point it out but she looked hard as nails so I kept schtum and checked our hair for a week after.

Alexel · 14/09/2019 11:53

Nothing terrible, happens in life.

They'll be gone after some treatment. X

AsTheWorldTurns · 14/09/2019 11:58

I was at a concert with DD and I could see the headlice crawling over the woman in front's parting. She had long wavy hair that was swishing about when she stood up to dance. I felt like I should point it out but she looked hard as nails so I kept schtum and checked our hair for a week after.

That is absolutely hideous.

Original poster
Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 13:56

Hedrin and Nitty Gritty purchased. DD's hair checked using conditioner and NG; she had lots and lots if nits but no lice. She knows to continue using NG+conditioner every couple of days until the comb comes out clear a few times.

I washed my treatment off and had my DD go through my hair with the NG after conditioner, and there were still quite a few nits left. I will also continue to treat.

I am so grateful for all the really useful advice and the feel better stories. Thank you all - here's to the power of mumsnet! 😘

OP posts:
BelindasGleeTeam · 14/09/2019 14:17

You need to treat DD too. And repeat in 10 days

Ellapaella · 14/09/2019 14:27

A good tip - leave conditioner in your hair and comb throughly before rinsing. This really helps to get rid of al the eggs.

x2boys · 14/09/2019 14:47

Meh, my sister's a primary school teacher and had them a few times ,could be worse it could be worms now that's grim I had to treat all of us when ds had worms 😫

Aqua25 · 14/09/2019 15:00

My 3 yr old had nits for a good few months because one of her nursery friends always had it! Her mum openly told me she didnt complete the treatment, she never treated the scalp/hair after 7 days of the 1st treatment! I was livid,I ended up cutting my daughter's long beautiful hair in to a bob cut to manage it better. I was tempted to take her to professionals to get it cleaned for £100, that's how desperate I was to get rid of them but of course she would just get them again because her friends mum is LAZY!
In the end I spoke to my mum and told her of the trouble I had getting rid of the nits, I had got them too, she bought some Neem oil, and rubbed it into my dd hair, kept it in overnight and washed it the next next and they were all gone. It absolutely stinks but it works, I put a drop of neem oil into almond oil and put that in my hair and it helped me too, it's worth it even though it stinks!

kateluvscats · 14/09/2019 15:09

Nits love my hair! Bloody bastards kept me awake last night AGAIN! Nit combing and conditioner session in the bath this morning. Never tell anyone I get them 😀

Herewego93 · 14/09/2019 15:12

I had these for years when I was younger only thing that got rid of them straight away was pouring white spirt over my hair and wrapping in a towel for an hour then washed it and that was it after years of stuff from doctors and pharmacy. I have really thick long hair though.

Thegullfromhull · 14/09/2019 15:13

Oh my god surely do not put white spirit anywhere near your head or a child’s head EVER !!!!!

Herewego93 · 14/09/2019 15:15

My Foster carer did it to me and my sister and it worked. But do agree probably not the safest.

Morgomargot · 14/09/2019 15:19

Blimey! White spirit?!! Surely not, your scalp would have been burnt. Do you mean spirit vinegar?

GrimDamnFanjo · 14/09/2019 15:20

I've caught them from my youngest. Our best treatment was Hedrin combed through with a Nittygriity comb. Two pronged attack worked like a charm.
No need to be embarrassed!

VitreousHumour · 14/09/2019 15:31

Quick one - if you're using a treatment it's really really important to do the second follow up one on the exact day recommended in the instructions.

Most treatments only kill lice, not nits/eggs - even if they say they do. Nits will hatch into a new batch of lice after the first treatment, and you need to zap them before they are able to reproduce and produce another generation. It's a very short window - 10 days I think but google it.

Most people who think they keep getting reinfected are just not fully clearing the first one. It used to drive me nuts when the kids were at school, I'm sure the treatment brands cynically choose not to explain the lifecycle stuff in order to sell more product.

Herewego93 · 14/09/2019 15:32

Pretty sure it was white spirit I was quite young though. It didn't smell vingeary but we did have to sit outside cause of the smell/fumes was very strong but it did work.

VitreousHumour · 14/09/2019 15:34

And that goes even if you're nitty gritty-ing in between - you only need to miss two eggs and the whole arsing thing begins agin..