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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely disgusted with myself?

223 replies

Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 02:32

NC because of the shame involved.

Back in May I started getting an itchy scalp. I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away by using different hair products, the change of season, blah blah. It has been getting worse, though, so I googled and deduced I probably had seborrhoeic dermatitis. I booked a GP appointment and was considering buying some Neutrogena T-gel.

Then this evening A BUG FELL OUT OF MY HAIR. I have fucking LICE and I didn't know! My DD (16) spotted it and was really shocked. She then had a good look at my scalp and could see at least 4 or 5 creatures crawling about. Even typing this makes me want to curl into the foetal position. I freaked out and rushed out to the nearest 24-hour supermarket, and have spent the last few hours scraping my scalp with a nit comb until it practically bled (I cannot tell you the stuff I pulled out) and applying the overnight treatment to shampoo off tomorrow.

I'm ashamed, mortified and disgusted. Four months! I have stayed with friends, been to the hairdresser, gone on holiday... How did this happen? Is this normal? Do other adult women randomly get nits? My DD hasn't got any, we don't think (of course we'll do the treatment on her tomorrow too, just in case). Should I have thought of it sooner? Is it my fault? And is it like an STD? Do I have to warn anyone I might have infected? The shame!

I'm sitting here freaking out, wondering what the heck I will find on the towel that is currently wrapped around my head tomorrow. Sleep seems an impossibility.

If this has ever happened to any of you, please put my mind at ease. I've never had lice in my life - just in case this seems a bit of an overreaction.

OP posts:
Icantthinkofanynewnames · 14/09/2019 15:59

Omg it’s no big deal. It happens. If the hairdressers saw they’d have mentioned it as it’s against a lot of salons policies to cut hair when people have nits, apparently. Relax. These things happen. Want to know something really disgusting? I got headlice once (teacher so it happens!) and I had a lovely time combing them out, I thought it was so weirdly satisfying! 😂

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/09/2019 16:01

Yeah, it probably was white spirit - I've heard they used to use paraffin oil as well.

Aqua - there was a mum at our playgroup who never ever did her kids' hair and they were rife with lice and nits. She had 7 kids and the 3 at playgroup with us were the youngest - the boy twins didn't have enough hair to have them, but the 3yo girl, I felt so sorry for her as she was always scratching away and had a frowsy nest of hair because of it. :(
A friend of mine looked after her youngest 3 for an overnight once, put them all in the bath and then spent about 2 hours going through the 3yo's hair and getting rid of all the lice and nits. Must have been lovely for the poor child to have a non-itchy head for a short while at least!

GreenTulips · 14/09/2019 16:03

Use tea tree oil daily as they dislike the smell and it’s masks the scent to other lice that you are a host.

Wash your bedding and towels on a hot wash

I had them 3 times last year! Bloody things!! But they don’t kill you and don’t actually do much harm other than being gross

Aqua25 · 14/09/2019 23:33

@thumbwitchesabroad

That sounds horrendous, the poor kids, makes we wonder how else the kids are being neglected if the parents can't be bothered

theSnuffster · 15/09/2019 17:41

I work with children so I've had them a couple of times as an adult. My own children have had them once each, strangely I didn't catch them those times.

It's fairly easily treated, although a pain in the arse.

GrumpiestCat · 15/09/2019 17:43

I caught them from my toddler niece when I was single in my 20s. Mortified. Had to tell my boyfriend at the time and get him to use the shampoo too. I feel your pain. I remember thinking wtf.... NOOOOO.

Ironically since having kids I haven't had them neither have they in 12 years.

Don't worry you've got things under control now I expect so keep the comb handy and maybe treat yourself to a head massage to recover from the upset!

cacklingmags · 15/09/2019 18:02

I had lice as an adult and I did not spot them until I was walking around with great big licey whoppers in my hair. If you have kids in a lice infested area (many posh ones, as mine is) then they will get them and you risk getting them too. Its no big deal. Don't poison yourself with too many chemicals, lice soon become immune to the local lice destroyer. Keep combing (gently) with a lice comb. Their life cycle is nine days, so they will keep having little lice babies for a while. Don't be ashamed - there is no reason to be - and our kids need to grow up resilient to this shaming stuff. I bought a microscope and we used to have a good old look at them (before we murdered them).

TubaTwoLocusts · 15/09/2019 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinyandpetite · 15/09/2019 18:17

My ex caught them in his hair from the back of a taxi, dong be embarrassed. I’ve caught them from my daughter. Nit comb conditioner, repeat every few days. Please don’t be ashamed x

littlespeckledfrog · 15/09/2019 18:26

My hairdresser once told me the reason they 'zhuzsh' (sp?!) your hair when they say 'so what are we doing today?' is that they are checking for nits. Apparently they're particularly obvious behind your ears. So I'm sure your hairdresser would have noticed any nits.

HelpIcantfindaname · 15/09/2019 18:28

The lice tend to lay the eggs (nits) close to the scalp so if the eggs are quite far down your hair you could have had them a while.
I teach young children &, despite keeping my long hair fastened up at school, I still catch them. And I'm 51 now & dont catch them less, so I'm not sure about them liking younger heads. I think you can have lice a couple of weeks before the itching starts.
Nitty gritty combs are good. Lice can live off the head for a short period so do wash bedding, hats & hairbrushes.

supersop60 · 15/09/2019 18:30

Please don't be ashamed - they are so easy to catch without realising. They will be gone quickly once treated.
My dcs had them a few times, and it became a nuisance, rather than anything digusting.

CoinOperatedBoy · 15/09/2019 18:33

Ooo I've never had nits - that I know of! But I want the nit zapper, it sounds so satisfying!

Neveam · 15/09/2019 18:42

Sorry, is this a joke?

It's not an infection. And definitely not an std. Hmm

And it's not the end of the world.

If you've stayed at a friend's house and they have kids that go to school with other kids, it can get passed on.

They go to any hair that is attached to a scalp. They like long hair, short hair, dirty hair, clean hair, adults hair, children's hair, brown hair, blonde hair...
They like any blood too and they do not jump to get there!

It doesn't mean you're a dirty person, that is such old fashioned crap!

You don't need to waste money on all the lice treatments either. Just wash your hair like normal and leave the conditioner in. Then use a nit comb to comb through getting close to your scalp until you feel you've done all your head sufficiently. Repeat the next day and quite regularly afterwards as any nits will hatch. But if you keep on top of it they should go within a few weeks.

Aragog · 15/09/2019 18:48

Not everyone knows they have them. People can go through an infestation not knowing as not everyone reacts to their secretions and not everyone feels itchy.

They are , however in my experience pretty easy to get rid of - use the shampoo and comb daily/every other day.

I've had them as an adult - picked up from a child I taught. I just treated one evening and moved on. Nothing to be embarrassed about at all!

Timandra · 15/09/2019 18:52

I washed my treatment off and had my DD go through my hair with the NG after conditioner, and there were still quite a few nits left. I will also continue to treat.

You don't need to buy any more treatments. Just use the nitty gritty to comb through thoroughly every 2 to 3 days for 3 weeks.

You will comb out the lice before they are old enough to lay eggs and, eventually, there will be no more eggs. You need to do this even if you use the treatment.

Lolabunny2 · 15/09/2019 18:54

My 3 children have all had head lice. I always treated myself and husband just in case. It’s nothing to be ashamed of apparently head lice prefer clean hair and also blonde or fair coloured hair as they can hide their eggs better. Don’t worry it’s just one of those things. They can’t jump they crawl from head to head contact.

gill1960 · 15/09/2019 18:55

I've had nits every time the kids did. 30 times at least.

Use a leave in nit shampoo and get a special nit comb to get rid of them.

It takes a while to comb your hair free. so its more efficient to use the shampoo first and kill them. And then follow up the shampoo with combing.

Neveam · 15/09/2019 18:59

"Had black under my finger nails when I scratched my head"
No I think that was just dirt! 😂
Or black hair dye.
You don't get black finger nails because you have nits or lice.

Adelebo · 15/09/2019 19:00

Dont feel ashamed OP its actually a compliment apparently they prefer clean hair 🤷‍♀️
Comb through your hair every day for a week with conditioner and a nit comb ..your hair will be lovely and shiny too 🤗

Ngailia · 15/09/2019 19:02

I'm a teacher. I regularly use nit shampoo as a precaution, even there is no evidence of it. No shame in having them - not doing anything is the shame.

Tunnocks34 · 15/09/2019 19:10

I caught them in my teacher training year when I did my primary school placement. They made me feel vile! Took ages to get rid of them too because I have really, really thick hair I just kept missing eggs!

millimollimandi · 15/09/2019 19:15

Don't panic - there is no shame nowadays as they are so common - unlike in my days of the 'nit nurse'. If you had had them for 4 months the hairdresser would have found them. More interestingly I would wonder where you had caught them from - they have to crawl, they don't fly or jump, so someone you had head contact with or from a towel or bedding...

CorBlimeyGovenor · 15/09/2019 19:19

You'll have to wash all bedding and also sofa cushions if your head rests on them. Also clean car seats/headrests. Cover back of sofa where you sit with a sheet/pillow case and wash daily. Change pillow cases daily and wash towels daily.

1forAll74 · 15/09/2019 19:19

Oh.I hope everything gets cleared up for you soon, what a shock. When you first said a bug fell out of your hair, I was imagining all sorts, like spiders or ants and the like !!!!