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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely disgusted with myself?

223 replies

Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 02:32

NC because of the shame involved.

Back in May I started getting an itchy scalp. I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away by using different hair products, the change of season, blah blah. It has been getting worse, though, so I googled and deduced I probably had seborrhoeic dermatitis. I booked a GP appointment and was considering buying some Neutrogena T-gel.

Then this evening A BUG FELL OUT OF MY HAIR. I have fucking LICE and I didn't know! My DD (16) spotted it and was really shocked. She then had a good look at my scalp and could see at least 4 or 5 creatures crawling about. Even typing this makes me want to curl into the foetal position. I freaked out and rushed out to the nearest 24-hour supermarket, and have spent the last few hours scraping my scalp with a nit comb until it practically bled (I cannot tell you the stuff I pulled out) and applying the overnight treatment to shampoo off tomorrow.

I'm ashamed, mortified and disgusted. Four months! I have stayed with friends, been to the hairdresser, gone on holiday... How did this happen? Is this normal? Do other adult women randomly get nits? My DD hasn't got any, we don't think (of course we'll do the treatment on her tomorrow too, just in case). Should I have thought of it sooner? Is it my fault? And is it like an STD? Do I have to warn anyone I might have infected? The shame!

I'm sitting here freaking out, wondering what the heck I will find on the towel that is currently wrapped around my head tomorrow. Sleep seems an impossibility.

If this has ever happened to any of you, please put my mind at ease. I've never had lice in my life - just in case this seems a bit of an overreaction.

OP posts:
everyonecaneffoff · 14/09/2019 08:15

I had them once as an adult too.
I remember being absolutely mortified when I saw a big one in the mirror crawling through the hair at my forehead. I wondered how many other people had seen the fuckers crawling around and not mentioned it. I imagined everyone laughing behind my back.
I had absolutely loads of the fuckers. I got rid of them with a nit comb and conditioner - did this every other night for what seemed like months until I was absolutely sure they had completely gone.
Never had them again since then.

It's a rite of passage! Most people get them at some point in their lives. But yeah, they are horrible.

Beautiful3 · 14/09/2019 08:15

You haven't had them for long. Trust me the hairdresser would have seen them and turned you away. I think your scalp condition is a separate issue from the head lice. So still see your dr about it. It's just headlice, no need to be embarrassed.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 14/09/2019 08:30

This happened to me once in my early twenties. I didn't have children so it never occurred to me it could be nits! It was about two months of an itchy scalp, trying various shampoos etc and not sleeping properly until one day I was visiting my mum and she saw one. I was horrified!

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 14/09/2019 08:30

PS now I have children I've had them heaps but back then, Pre children, it was a nasty shock!

Neolara · 14/09/2019 08:35

If you had 4 nits four months ago, by now you would have thousands. Nits breed like absolutele buggers.

CatteStreet · 14/09/2019 08:35

Oh dear, OP. You are seriously overreacting, but going by some of the posts on this thread, you are not alone in your reaction to head lice ('nits' I believe is the term for the remains of the eggs).

'Oh, and you DO NOT need to have your furniture professionally cleaned, fumigate your entire house, wrap everything you own in cling film, put your dog in the freezer, etc. I mean, by all means give any other kids in the family a quick once over, but all the rest of it is bloody bonkers.'

This x 100000!

I am presuming the shame thing is a residual societal hangover from the days when human parasites (of various kinds) were common among people who lived in poverty and poverty was regarded as something to be ashamed of, but I would have hoped we were past that (both of those things) by now. We really shouldn't be passing these messages on to our children.

CatteStreet · 14/09/2019 08:37

'human' parasites meaning 'parasites who pick human hosts'

starflake · 14/09/2019 08:38

I would say the lice are a recent thing. Why many adult woman don't get them is because we dye & straighten our hair, both of which kill the lice. If u have dyed your hair or repeatedly straightened your hair in the last 4 months I highly doubt the lice have survived

OrchidInTheSun · 14/09/2019 08:40

Nits =/= fleas

Uniformuniformuniform · 14/09/2019 08:40

Hedrin is amazing. But whatever treatment you use please do it again 7 days later it will kill anything that hatched and comb. One treatment is not enough!

Onemorefortheroad · 14/09/2019 08:47

Noticed others saying whole family need treated. When my daughter had them I treated myself and the pharmacist said that wasn't the right thing to do. Only treat people who have them. You can still go through everyone's hair with the comb and conditioner but apparently they are becoming resistant to the actual treatment stuff so should only be used when necessary apparently!

Good luck!

MarthasGinYard · 14/09/2019 08:48

Op bless you Thanks

I was heavily pregnant and being treated for all kinds of itching on my neck scalp etc. I Didn't work with dc, didn't have any myself etc.

I scratched my head about a month into this itching and saw something black under my fingernail.

My goodness it was horrific. I was completely lousy with lice. It took 3 treatments over a week and hours of combing through with my best friend to get rid. I was actually finding dead ones on my pillow throughoutSad

I felt as you do, but my friend and I look back and chuckle.

'True friendship is about spending 3 hour sessions with a tooth comb de lousing your bestie in need'

Dd is 9 she's only had them once but I was terrified. It was nothing like my infestation though.

StillMedusa · 14/09/2019 08:49

My oldest friend is a high flying business woman.. spends a lot of time talking to no 10 Downing Street etc. One day she was in a meeting, absentmindedly scratched her itchy head and watched in horror as the dislodged nit tootled off across the table Grin

Nits are a pain to deal with but nothing shameful. I work in school and unfortunately have caught them lots of times over the years.. I keep Hedrin in the house!

Just treat, get a good comb, and then retreat :)

MerryMarigold · 14/09/2019 08:53

I don't think you had nits when you went to the hairdresser. They would have seen them when combing, parting, cutting etc.

I've never had nits and now my head feels itchy! We are dealing with our rental property in which the outgoing tenants have kindly left bedbugs and I feel itchy everytime I enter it. It's gross. I have never had bedbugs or nits, but not sure why as I'm not particularly clean.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 14/09/2019 08:59

Ffs. I thought you were going to admit to something truly shameful like voting leave or something. You need to get a bit of perspective. There are hundreds of posters on Mumsnet right now, this very minute, who have cancer in it's various forms. Ridiculous levels of drama over a few nits!!

AltheaVestr1t · 14/09/2019 08:59

Nothing to do with cleanliness at all, I’m amazed that you have a 16yr day DD and you’ve never had them before! It’s not a big deal.

Thehop · 14/09/2019 09:01

I work in a nursery, so I’ve had bits more as an adult than I did as a child.

I use a nitty gritty comb every time I condition now and that haven’t come back since

RandomMess · 14/09/2019 09:05

I've only had them once as an adult I was so itchy had been to the pharmacy and everything.

I blasted with chemicals to kill the adults then painstaking not comb (nitty gritty comb is the best). My scalp was so irritated it took months to calm down.

I'm bloody allergic to all insects, I had long hair and hives on my back AngrySad

VerbenaGirl · 14/09/2019 09:07

I’ve got nit comb envy! I want an electric one like Russell19!! My DDs got through Primary School lice free, but it’s been a problem on and off since they went to Secondary School, because they are allowed to wear their hair down. I’ve recently had it for the first time in my life, aged mid forties. I’ve actually been less freaked out about it than I thought I would. Combed through with lots of conditioner and nit comb every three days until i’ve had a couple of sessions with nothing coming out. Think you just have to accept that it’s part of life and really common. My hairdresser has always told me that they don’t like colour treated hair, but i’m bleach blonde and it obviously didn’t keep them away! They are little buggers though!!

imnotinthemood · 14/09/2019 09:09

Poor you , I've had them as a adult but only because I caught them off my kids .
I suppose it would be the last thing I'd think of now .

Original poster
Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 09:13

Thank you all for the constructive advice and your own stories, which are really helping me feel better.

I note what so many of you say about it not being possible to have them for so long without noticing. I guess once I (hopefully) get rid of the buggers I will see what happens to my scalp. I will go buy a Nifty Gritty comb this morning.

OP posts:
gerbo · 14/09/2019 09:13

Please don't be so hard on yourself OP! I'm an Early Years teacher and reasonably often we have them!! One of the team will catch a few and we all comb to be safe. Really not a big deal, no one ever feel shame....

Good luck clearing up the dermatitis. And if maybe check your dd as teens are not immune, as a pp said, their heads are often glued together for selfies!

Bonkersblond · 14/09/2019 09:13

I know someone who suffered an itchy scalp for near on 6 months, drive her mad, went to the Drs twice, finally got picked up when her husband saw a lice drop out her hair, I guess she was older, not round kids much, and wasn’t on hers or Drs radar, her reaction was one of relief as after the nit treatment she got relief!

Original poster
Buginmyrug · 14/09/2019 09:13

*Nitty not nifty!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/09/2019 09:23

I was utterly infested! Had black under my finger nails when I scratched my head 🤮

I was just told to take anti histamines to reduce itching.