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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not wear a baby on board badge

146 replies

mangobutter · 13/09/2019 20:38

I know I'm not being unreasonable but people are doing my head in about this.

Live in London, made it through one pregnancy without needing a badge to tell people about it. Very grateful that I didn't suffer too much beyond a bad back and hips and never had a problem asking if I needed a seat which wasn't often.

Pregnant again and colleagues and friends keep asking me where's my badge, will I get a badge, telling me I should have one in my bag just in case (in case what, I lose my voice and ability to communicate?) and one colleague in particular getting a bit het up saying I don't want to get bumped. Unless someone pushes me under a train or down an escalator I'm sure me and baby will be fine!!

I have an irrational hatred of the bloody badges anyway as just see too many women passive aggressively staring/sighing at people or getting upset when no-one immediately jumps up to offer them a seat - despite not actually asking for one - and they feel really entitled to me. Obviously that's my personal opinion and I'd never say that to anyone in real life, don't really give a crap if someone wants to wear one, and of course totally recognise that many will suffer greatly during pregnancy with a whole host of unpleasant symptoms, aches, pains etc and have differing levels of confidence / different types of commute.

I'm just sick of people bloody going on about it!!! Possibly I am being unreasonable in how riled this has got me and I guess it's better than the usual 'was it planned' question and weird bump-touching that I remember from last time

OP posts:

Ivyleaf4 · 14/09/2019 09:52

The people who judge those who wear the badge - do you feel the same about the "please offer me a seat" badges and think they're PA or whatever?

I had an elderly man with a walking stick stand up for me once. Took quite a conversation to reassure him i was fine standing.

Well what were all the other people on the train doing? If I saw this situation I would immediately offer my seat to one of you. Unless you were the only two people on a train with only one seat this is just bizarre.

I think there's a lot of overthinking here to be honest. I think the badges are a good idea. Offering your seat to others is considerate and I try to do it. The end.

SandraOhshair · 14/09/2019 09:54

Personally, they are not for me and so wouldn't wear one.
And yes, when I see one, I do an internal eye roll.

MyLittleFamily2019 · 14/09/2019 09:57

I thought they were for your car ?

Original poster

mangobutter · 14/09/2019 10:18

@GlasshouseStoneThrower

Kind of sounds like this thread is more about your judgment of other people wearing the badges than anything else.

I literally say the opposite in my op.

Could people please read my op?

OP posts:

coffeeforone · 14/09/2019 10:31

The problem with asking is that you don't know who to ask, it would get awkward if you addressed someone who also needed a seat. It's better if you're offered. And unless you shout down the carriage, you only really can address a couple of people at once.

Though I do see the OP's point - I didn't wear a badge much in my pregnancies but I did put it on on occasion. I'm also rhesus negative and needed anti d a few times after big impacts to my bump (though I can't say I've ever had such an impact on public transport that required it!)

Phineyj · 14/09/2019 10:34

I don't know why people keep mentioning the car badges, but the car badges actually are purposeless unless you never drive the car without the baby in it/you think emergency services only check cars with them on. I've always thought though, that a 'mad toddler/bickering siblings' badge might be of use, so other motorists could give you a wide berth...

I've found this thread quite enlightening as a colleague of mine refused to wear one of the TFL badges and I didn't really understand why (although OP, your colleagues are rude and I did not question mine...as not my business).

testing987654321 · 14/09/2019 10:46

People probably think of cats because these badges seem to be mainly in London, and women aren't vehicles which babies board.

PumpkinP · 14/09/2019 12:14

It is the norm to wear one on London so your colleagues are hardly bring unreasonable expecting you to, but obviously you have your own free will.

Is it the norm? I live in London and have never seen one irl, unless they are just so small I’ve never noticed which then defeats the point.

PippaPug · 14/09/2019 12:36

I have felt really embarrassed, but I’m currently 4 months pregnant with twins and suffering from low blood pressure so I get very dizzy and I’m also incredibly hot on the tubes so I have work my badge a few times - and as I’m not really showing i have found it harder to ask.
I travel in rush hour so I have found people are less likely to squash into me and push me into the carriage to try and get a space for themselves.
I have also have had a seat which is greatly appreciated when I feel like I’m going to pass out and sometimes I’m not that near the seats but someone will stand up and ask if I want them, it’s been helpful for me at least.

Siameasy · 14/09/2019 12:41

Yanbu
They were amusing for about half a second. I refused to wear one when I was pregnant. I looked like a house as well and never got offered seats 🤷‍♀️Oh well I used to sit on the floor.

TheGigglingGazelle · 14/09/2019 12:44

Not having been to London in a while I'd never heard of these (and I do routinely give my seat up on public transport for others who are more in need, including if I see someone who's pregnant), the principle sounds like a good one, but isn't the wording a bit cringe? I'd read that as a fertility boast as much as a signal that help may be needed, personally.

Witchinaditch · 14/09/2019 12:46

The badges look ridiculous- just ask if you want a seat!

RosesAndRaindrops · 14/09/2019 13:53

Wait, what, you mean like an actual badge you wear on yourself?
I thought you meant like a baby on board car sticker!
I've been pregnant twice and was huge both times, never heard of a badge for yourself though!
Used to get the packed train into work every morning too which was fun
Wouldn't have personally wanted a baby on board sticker either, I'm with you on this one!
Now if it was one I could have had fun with like "wide load coming through" or something and a "beep beep this bus is reversing" on my back I'd maybe have considered

StillCoughingandLaughing · 14/09/2019 14:01

Wait, what, you mean like an actual badge you wear on yourself?

No; the kind of badge you cover in chocolate sauce and sprinkle with hundreds of thousands and eat for pudding.

RosesAndRaindrops · 14/09/2019 14:03

No; the kind of badge you cover in chocolate sauce and sprinkle with hundreds of thousands and eat for pudding

Oh one of those badges
Was just surprised as I've literally never heard of them. Maybe it's a London thang.

foxtiger · 14/09/2019 17:52

When I was pregnant with DS1 (long before these badges existed) I had a 10-minute train journey twice a day and I didn't really feel I needed to sit down. Occasionally someone would offer me a seat when the train was full, but I always said no thank you, because I was getting off so soon anyway and I honestly didn't feel uncomfortable standing up. When I was pregnant with DS2 I never used public transport.

I don't see any reason why anyone should have to have a badge, or sit down, if they don't want to when they're pregnant. Not everybody feels rubbish when pregnant. Unless you're tutting at women who do use a badge or ask to sit down, YANBU.

Original poster

mangobutter · 14/09/2019 17:54

Unless you're tutting at women who do use a badge or ask to sit down, YANBU.

Absolutely no tutting here

OP posts:

Ivyleaf4 · 14/09/2019 18:12

Was just surprised as I've literally never heard of them. Maybe it's a London thang.

Well, they're made by Transport for London. So yeah, they're a London "thang".

LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/09/2019 19:28

Was just surprised as I've literally never heard of them. Maybe it's a London thang.

The second sentence of the OP says she lives in London.

I don't know why people do the 'oh how would I know your strange London ways' thing. Don't comment on the thread if you don't know what it's on about and clearly lots of people do.

LiveInAHidingPlace · 15/09/2019 00:35

"No; the kind of badge you cover in chocolate sauce and sprinkle with hundreds of thousands and eat for pudding."

LOL

LittleTopic · 15/09/2019 00:43

I found mine useful because my commute was so jam packed people couldn’t always see my bump through the sheer number of people but could see the badge on my lapel and it allowed me to squeeze my way through and ask for a seat if I needed one, instead of the usual tutting about people pushing though a packed carriage.

I also had several weeks where I probably looked a bit chubby instead of pregnant so it solved that awkwardness!

I get the point about ‘not being able to speak for yourself’ but I really don’t think it’s about that. I had no problem pointing to the bags and asking someone to give up their seat - the badge just eliminated the ‘er, why?’ conversations for me when I wasn’t 35 weeks pregnant and waddling

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