Is it a class thing?

[Pollypenguin01]

I don’t really want to go into the why’s of this question as it’s pretty outing but I’m looking for a average opinion.

Would you ever take a ‘gift’ for the kitchen staff at a restaurant?
Has this always been a thing to do?
Do you have to be of a certain class and in a certain class of establishment for this to be the norm?
If you happen to be a Chef/waiting staff/restaurant owner/etc would you think it very strange for a customer to bring a gift for the chef and cooking staff?

The example of gifts would be, a pack of beer, some mini cakes or doughnuts, some other appropriate food or drink multi pack.

YANBU = God no, I have never heard of this!
YABU = you’re clearly some sort of cretin that doesn’t know how to behave in civilised society!

Please feel free to explain your vote!

"Dear friends, here is the £6 on the condition that you STFU. You are wrong and a random quote from one individual chef who is based in a completely different culture is not proof of anything. We still value your friendship but I would be too embarrassed to ever go to a restaurant with you again (although we'd probably be safe enough at a McDonalds or similar)."

I have NEVER heard of this happening, I've been to loads of restaurants, I even have friends who are restaurant owners. Although I could see it possibly happening in the case where the chef is a personal friend or if suppliers are trying to curry favour, but even then it wouldn't be flipping doughnuts.

What sort of class are you imagining would do this? It’s downright odd.

No, just no. Do you know any other guests who went (and presumably paid) that you could consult? If they do this regularly it smacks slightly of them trying to get you to cover some of the bill. Very rude of them to email about a "debt" too - fairly sure that is something Debretts would frown upon for such a measly amount.

What the what?!

No it’s not a thing. Class wise, I don’t mean to sound snobby but are they social climbers? Trying to get something right but hitting way off the mark?

My husband and I have been in catering for years (I’m not anymore) and sometimes a beer would be bought for the chefs and myself front of house would be bought books or interesting ingredients if I’d been chatting with a regular customer about such things and they wanted to share them with me.

Just to clarify, this is a first.

I've never ever heard of anything like this!

I'm a restaurant manager and have worked in hospitality for nearly 10 years. Noone has ever brought any of us a gift. Regulars sometimes give their favourite staff members bigger tips, particularly at Christmas/weddings/birthdays. A girl did once bring us in some chocolate after we found her engagement ring for her!

I have never heard of this and I have actually worked in a restaurant.

The phrase 'taking coal to Newcastle' springs to mind.

My DS took some beers to the restaurant kitchen staff when we went out to celebrate his graduation, but he had been working there for quite a while when he was a student.
They appreciated it.
But it's not standard behaviour as we all know.

Keep on asking them if they're on crack in your responses to them.

They may get the message by about mid December.

I’m thinking of pulling friends leg tbh

Umm, I think they might be the ones teasing you OP. The gift and the text were just too ridiculous to be true. Perhaps they were hoping you would be gullible enough to start a thread on Mumsnet with the hope of getting in the Daily Mail.

That text is beyond silly. No one actually writes like that. Sorry but I don’t believe it’s genuine. You’ve been fooled.

We do it but we are regulars. I even give a gift the the ladies that do my manicure and they do the same (for kids)

@Mathanxiety - I used 'coals to Newcastle' on page 4 - that's exactly what it made me think too!

Beyond belief bonkers.

Sorry I haven’t replied sooner but making dinner etc!

I’m not sure if they are serious or not tbh, we’ve never seen them behave like this so I’m at a loss really.
We have eaten out with them once before at a restaurant of our choice (I say restaurant, it was a really nice country pub) and have eaten at theirs and them at ours. We have been out to other things together but not a restaurant which I suppose looking back might be a bit odd?

I have bitten the bullet and sent the reply from MissSomerset

“I really didn't feel the donuts were enough of a gesture so i took round a case of Verve. The champagne was £300 so please will you give me £144 to settle up 😁”

They haven’t replied yet so we will see if he was joking or not!

The thing is we did leave a monetary tip that was over 20% so I thought we had been pretty generous.

I honestly thought I might have been going mad! DH is really annoyed about it all and doesn’t for a second think he is joking but I can’t see how he could possibly be serious with the texts he sent honestly who would speak that way to friends?

JeSuisPoulet

That’s a very good idea and we do have some mutual friends I have on my FB so I will message them and see if they have ever done similar or if they are messing with me.

generous cash tip and a glowing review are my weapons of choice. ...what weirdo imagines a kitchen wants prepacked doughnuts?

What class of person speaks to their friends like that and spends their money for them??

I used to waitress in a local Bistro type restaurant with lots of repeat trade. Some of the regular customers would bring in tins of chocolates for kitchen and wait staff to share at Christmas. Didn’t think much of it other than it was a nice thing to do.

Posted too soon. It’s definitely not an expected thing to give gifts

Slight update!

So I messaged mutual friends and explained the situation as kindly as I could which isn’t easy when I think they are batshit!

It turns out they are no longer mutual friends as the exact same thing happened to them with roughly the same texts only it wasn’t doughnuts but Fortnum and Mason teabags. They then expected mutual friends to split the cost of the teabags.
It’s now either they are all having a fucking good laugh at my expense or they really have lost the plot!
I asked MF (mutual friends) if they had done it before with them when eating out and they said it’s pretty much the same as us and they had only been out to a evening meal in a restaurant once with them but had obviously eaten at each other’s houses and gone out for lunch occasionally.

I’m just going to have to wait for friends text back.

I'm working class & eat out fairly regularly in various types of restaurants socially, mainly with my working class friends/family... occasionally in quite posh places, I have NEVER heard of anyone doing this!!

We always leave a tip - 10% if especially pleased with the service & meal but less if bit short of cash & Hardly anything if it's been a bad experience.

I have some upper middle class friends who are actually pretty tight so they would definitely never do that either.
In fact they hate leaving tips as well & order tap water rather than drinks which can be embarrassing in a posh place...

Your friends sound just odd.

No. Have never done this and won't be doing so. Sounds as If It would be one of those exchanges which goes "er, thanks? " as everyone shuffles their feet and looks at the floor.

In my local pub (small village that did nice food) the regulars would often pay for a drink for the chef/kitchen staff/bar staff/waiting staff who were on. They'd put the money in the til for their chosen drink and then have a tab each as and when they wanted one.
I always thought it was quite nice. I should stress that was regulars in a local where a lot of the staff were local.

Outside of the small community setup where everyone knows everyone well (hence the "and add a pint on for Gary's tab for when he clocks off") I would think that was weird. Food gifts would be most odd.

I love the reply you sent.
Having worked in many restaurants the only things the chefs/kitchen staff would appreciate would be booze, money or coke.
Doughnuts and teabags would be launched in the bin.
Very, very odd.