Is it a class thing?

[Pollypenguin01]

I don’t really want to go into the why’s of this question as it’s pretty outing but I’m looking for a average opinion.

Would you ever take a ‘gift’ for the kitchen staff at a restaurant?
Has this always been a thing to do?
Do you have to be of a certain class and in a certain class of establishment for this to be the norm?
If you happen to be a Chef/waiting staff/restaurant owner/etc would you think it very strange for a customer to bring a gift for the chef and cooking staff?

The example of gifts would be, a pack of beer, some mini cakes or doughnuts, some other appropriate food or drink multi pack.

YANBU = God no, I have never heard of this!
YABU = you’re clearly some sort of cretin that doesn’t know how to behave in civilised society!

Please feel free to explain your vote!

I have sent the link to this thread to them so we will see what happens.

Well, I suppose pouring petrol on the fire is one way to increase the drama...

I'm 51 and this has never been a thing. You go to a restaurant, pay for the meal, leave a tip if it's deserved. It would never occur to me to take a gift to a restaurant!

I have sent the link to this thread to them so we will see what happens.

The language will probably have them staggering onto fainting couches if the usernames don't get them first.

I have sent the link to this thread to them so we will see what happens.

Please don't disappear on us now OP. And good luck.

PS. Mr & Mrs Batshit if you are reading this thread good evening to you. YABVVVVVVVVU in case it escaped ones noticed.

zxcvhjkl - I admire your optimism that the friends will keep reading as far as your post (330th on this thread) post if they ever follow the link.

I wouldn't give them the £6 out of principle. I can't get over the homemade chutney-why would a supposedly top restaurant with all it's food hygiene rules etc accept that from a unknown source where the person might have not have sterilised the jar or even washed their hands etc etc. That must've gone straight in the bin surely?! Why some people have airs of grandeur is beyond me! Sad sods.... At least you've given us all a laugh OP althou at first I wasn't sure it could be true I must admit.

they took china plates and bone handled cutlery to McDonald’s when they popped there

So they want to teach you how to behave, but they eat at McDonalds ????

I’m all for slumming it, but McDonalds is a step too far. And it’s even worse not to eat it appropriately ie with your hands out of the packaging or bags it’s served in.

They’re bonkers and not very nice with it.

I'd assume if a stranger brings chef/stall anyhting edible that isn't sealed they would toss it in the trash. But I do think they might give the customers some extra because they would feel obligated and it doesn't cost anyhting to the restaurant.

That being said, I can totally see people bringing something if they are regular. My n laws often bring something from their garden to the restaurant owner but they have gone there every week for decades and are at first name base with everyone in the staff. I think that is within the normal range.

I just don’t think they’re trying hard enough. I send a Harrods’ hamper ahead of me every time I drop into Nando’s — sometimes they give me an extra wing in my Wing Roulette, to show how much they appreciate me — and when I go to McDonalds, I bring my own butler, sommelier and an entire dinner service.

It's a weird attitude though, 'I appreciate the food you cook me, I can see how great a chef you are, I'm apparently in a posh gaff, so here's some cheap mass produced donuts I picked up'

Just for the record this: Mutual friends told me yesterday that they took china plates and bone handled cutlery to McDonald’s when they popped there after an afternoon out isn’t normal behaviour. But we’ve hugely enjoyed your faux pas.

@Frangible

Bone-handled cutlery is just odd. Don't they have family silver, particularly with a regimental stamp from when their great-great grandfather was an officer? Bone handled cutlery is for dessert IME, not for a main course. While I would hesitate to categorise McDonalds burgers as a 'main course', they are definitely not dessert.

Frangible

sometimes they give me an extra wing in my Wing Roulette, to show how much they appreciate me

I very much appreciate you after that

I have sent the link to this thread to them so we will see what happens.

Coo-ee, Mr Donut! Over here! If you want to start a new thread, in the manner of I'm Barry, AMA from a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure we all have some urgent etiquette questions that need a definitive answer.

First up, does Sancerre or Sprite go best with caviar? Or should I just snort vodka off a Pringles lid in the traditional Russia manner?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3666191-Im-Barry-AMA

No I haven’t ever done, nor do I eve intend too, nor do I know anyone else who does this, and some eat in the most expensive places in the UK. Your (ex) friends are bay shit crazy and that’s what the restaurants will think 😂

I was going to say this wasn’t a class thing but after reading the updates I’m afraid that it is a class thing. Lower middle and insecure. I’m dying reading this. Please don’t take donuts to a restaurant because the only way you can feel special in life is by getting favours from servers. I don’t have word for how embarrassed I am reading this. And the port! My checks are red from secondhand shame.

Also the plastic champagne flutes?!!!

Oh gosh. Sending the link is so cruel. Seriously. I can't imagine reading a thread like this, all about me, with the sort of response there are here.
I'd never be able to face the world again.

Yes, his texts are ridiculous, but I don't think anyone deserves that.

Tweet people who'd know the answer to this. I'd love it if Ramsay or something could pick some outrageous phrase to describe these weirdos.

I see why regulars might buy alcohol but not a six pack of Stella and some ring donuts from the supermarket lol

Well I'm glad I expressed doubt then, so they can see their behaviour is quite literally unbelievable.

Nowhere in Debrett’s does it mention taking gifts to restaurant staff. It’s not a class thing. These people are just crazy!

Brilliant story. Here's some lads who did turn a McDonalds meal into a fine dining experience.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/teenagers-thrown-out-mcdonalds-bringing-2276956

Never heard of anything like this. I could imagine a scenario where you were friends or regular customers who knew the staff and wanted to bring them something for a special occasion like Christmas or their birthday, or perhaps if they'd catered for a special event or really gone out of their way somehow. None of those apply here. I've eaten in "high class" places if it matters. I think this is very odd. Plus imagine if every diner at a restaurant was bringing in a pack of doughnuts each time they visited...they'd be able to start selling them.

Ask him in which direction he passes the port. 🤯

I was lucky enough to eat in some pretty special places earlier in life thanks to my dad's job (I still relish the memory of the hotel on an Italian lake where you ate on the restaurant terrace and the windows rose up from the flower boxes when the lake breezes got a little too nippy at night, and its fantastic food), and I waitressed, barmaided and kitchen staffed my way through university, and the only time I knew of a gift being brought for ANY staff member was in a huntin' shootin' fishin' hotel in the Highlands when Old Money remembered a waitress celebrating her seventeenth birthday and brought her a present for her eighteenth on their stay the following year. That was one place where the staff were all very aware of the difference in behaviour between Old Money and New Money.

OP, please keep telling us more stories of this couple - they are so totally out of touch with accepted etiquette! 😁