to say that the term "date night" gives me the rage?

[DelphicOracle]

Just that really...... why is it that weve adopted this term in the last 5 years. I know its irrational - but it just grates on me. What happened to "going out", "catching up over a drink", "spending the evening together", "going out for a meal".... aarrghh.

It makes it worse the longer someone has been together..... you cant "date" your husband, youve already married him! I would suggest that if youve been with someone for more than 6 months its not really a date.

Arent dates meant to be something you do whilst not being a relationship or with someone you dont really know, but have been out with once or twice before?

Maybe Im grumpy, maybe Im old, but Im not sure when I was in my twenties (2.5 decades ago) anyone "dated". Men or Women just asked someone if they fancied a drink... or you all went out with work or a group of mates, and went home with someone you had your eye on, at the end of the night?

AIBU to say its twee, and makes me feel a bit cross .... Dont even get me started on parents taking their kids on "date nights" - not envy

YANBU. I also can't bear this phrase.

I think you might be slightly UR

We do 'date night' when we can, together 10 years, we both have very busy jobs with long commutes and a young child with no family support.

We try once a month to have a 'date night'
We would do something we would have done in those first few months that we wouldn't particularly do now. Stay up late playing board games or a fancy meal.
Money is tight for us so just going out has to be planned and saved for.

If it was a very regular thing maybe we would just say going out, but this is about us making the time for each other. Both have lots of divorce among our family so I think making that time is important and I like it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Can't get riled up about it. It's a term that everyone understands.

Duh and I have a date night and it's nothing new. I can't see myself using the term "going out" as if I'm a teenager again.

Use whatever term you want and let others use the one they want.

I like date night. I think it's a nice way of setting the scene for knowing that you're doing something different and making an effort in your relationship.

I think date night is different from "let's eat out, I don't feel like cooking". It's more of a time to do something and not talk about the drudgery of day to day existence.

YABU, together 17 years, love a good date night.....maybe you just feel left out

Sounds like you need a date night to loosen you up a bit OP!

Date night is making an effort, not just having a drink or eating out. Currently planning a new outfit and hair appointment before next week's date night

You must lead a very boring life if this is all you can get the range about.

You're right though, we didn't date in the 90s, or certainly my group of friends didn't. You went out for a drink with someone. If you were jn a relationship you would go out for dinner or whatever.

Yanbu it's the adult equivalent of playdate. Ghastly.

'date night' makes me cringe.

I love it when my husband and I go out together for the evening, but I certainly wouldn't call it a 'date'

Worse is 'daddy daughter date' or mummy and son date' 🤮

I'm with you OP. DH and I go out a lot, spend evenings at home having a romantic dinner together etc and I would never say that hideous phrase. Makes me cringe!

Date night means you are going that extra mile, you aren't just meeting up for drinks or something.
Date night, to me, means getting gussied up, book tables and cans and maybe a b&b, etc
Today is our 21 wedding anniversary, and we are having a date night tonight

Why?

It's a convenient phrase which used fewer words to convey the meaning "I am going out for the evening with my significant other."

Perhaps you could do with some Valium or a spliff.

Very split reactions!

Travis - not not feeling left out - just dont feel the need to use some hideously cringy word to describe a very normal event in most couples lives.

Thats the bit I dont understadn - not the act of going out for dinner / drinks / dressing up / making an effort. Thats all fine - and very normal - its the having to brand it as Date Night that just makes my teeth itch - exactly like Holibobs and Hubby - ugh.

I love nothing more that getting a frock on, going out to eat somewhere nice, drinking cocktails, stayig out too late, having a laugh - Date Night - just makes me feel like there its another thing to tick off a To Do list.....

nothendgal isnt that just going out for our wedding anniversary?

shearwater - plenty off access to Valium and spliffs, needing them isnt the issue

Op,

Like you, I don’t like date night. But I am prejudiced because my parents were going on “date nights” in the 70s and 80s in an effort to “save their marriage.” It didn’t work. Partly I suspect because the mantra then was about “quality time” as in two hours of “quality time” with your wife, husband, kids, dog were somehow more superior than four hours of just doing stuff together & being there in each other’s company. My parents spent much of their time at home in opposite wings, only occasionally bumping into each other when fetching a new bottle of wine from the butlers pantry. Unless it was their once weekly “date night” where’d they dress to the nines and go out. We children were obviously in a completely different part of the house or out in the summer house.

So, like any person I tend to do the opposite of what my parents did and do not do “date nights”. I prefer to be in the same room as my DH even if I’m reading a book and he is painting nearby. We chat and have a laugh.

But I don’t hate the concept of date nights and they do work for some couples. So, it’s worth keeping them as an option for couples to consider.

It doesn’t bother me when it’s 2 adults but I always cringe when a FB friend of mine puts ‘date night’ on a caption of a photo of him with his teenage daughter. I know that it’s totally sweet and innocent but every time I think ‘Really? You’re going on a date with your own daughter?!’

Yanbu, I loathe it! 'Date night' 'making memories' 'holibobs' 🤮 tweet and shit, making what should be a nice thing just another performance.

Why does anyone need a 'date night' with their child? It's creepy. Unless it's the early stages of a romantic relationship (or not, I've had plenty fall flat!) it's not a date.

I've been with dh for the better part of a decade, married, kids, mortgage... we manage to just go out, no need for #datenight

Me and DP have a very active social life so 'date night' means it's just the 2 of us. No kids, friends etc. We try for twice a month. It's a bit childish a word I guess but it doesnt offend me

I don't like it either especially when teamed with the word wifey or hubster.

Agree that date night with your child is odd tho!

It makes me cringe too. It sounds like the couple are trying to reinject romance into their relationship when things have gone a bit stale or wrong.

YANBU. Makes my teeth itch.