to say that the term "date night" gives me the rage?

[DelphicOracle]

Just that really...... why is it that weve adopted this term in the last 5 years. I know its irrational - but it just grates on me. What happened to "going out", "catching up over a drink", "spending the evening together", "going out for a meal".... aarrghh.

It makes it worse the longer someone has been together..... you cant "date" your husband, youve already married him! I would suggest that if youve been with someone for more than 6 months its not really a date.

Arent dates meant to be something you do whilst not being a relationship or with someone you dont really know, but have been out with once or twice before?

Maybe Im grumpy, maybe Im old, but Im not sure when I was in my twenties (2.5 decades ago) anyone "dated". Men or Women just asked someone if they fancied a drink... or you all went out with work or a group of mates, and went home with someone you had your eye on, at the end of the night?

AIBU to say its twee, and makes me feel a bit cross .... Dont even get me started on parents taking their kids on "date nights" - not envy

Hate it as well .It sounds so 'forced' to me .'We are going out for dinner, cinema, theatre ' is what I say.Got used to the 'playdate' term but nearly burst out laughing when I heard it the first time after moving to California with my young kids.In think my kids would clobber me if I called going out for dinner with them a 'date'.

OP, I think the phrase was coined for married couples, precisely because it wasnt normal for a lot of couples.

Many couples slip into going out separately with their friends/for hobbies, or going out as a family, but 1-2-1 time with their spouce was limited to watching the tv together when the dcs were in bed. Certainly without family childcare available to us, lots of friends and evening activities we were both committed to, we had a point when we'd gone 6 months without going out for a drink or dinner, just the two of us.

We do make the effort to make time for us, away from the home and kids. And yes, that does take working round other commitments and paid babysitter's availability to schedule a date night!

David and Samantha Cameron used to have date nights. That should be enough to put anyone off.

I don't use it (partly because we don't do many anyway) and it is a bit twee, but it is a succinct way to describe the concept of making an effort to have quality time in a long term relationship when it's very easy for life to take over.

Far more twee, cringy expressions are in common usage.

It's a bit nauseating isn't it.

YANBU - I find it annoying too. The only people I know who have date night are bloody miserable in their relationships, yet they like to go out and plaster on fb....Oh I love my DH/DW so much. You're sitting next to them you muppet, tell them then, not us.

And breathe!! lol

I can’t stand the phrase “makes my teeth itch” but have had to learn to tolerate it!

I think we might need to relearn a bit of tolerance. I worry that internet is fundamentally changing the way people think and behave. There’s no natural brake any more on people wanting to share what they are annoyed/angry/getting the “rage” about at any particular moment, and when you add it all up it means that we are constantly exposed to other people venting.

It sometimes feels like this creates a low level background buzz of dissatisfaction unhappiness and angst that’s becoming the inescapable soundtrack to our lives.

God maybe I need to escape the 21st Century.

I totally agree, OP, and play date is just as grim!

YABU!! My husband and I do date nights - basically nights we schedule in when we focus entirely on each other (not work, laptops, phones or bills... Etc..) We cook a nice meal together once DC are in bed and enjoy each other's company.

What else should we call it? Not averse to finding a new name, but 'date night' is a v convenient short hand ...?

GreytExpectations - Im not saying theres anything wrong with making an effort / going out / its the PHRASE thats irritating.... normally only used on Socail Media accompanying pictures of two people having their tea, in a slightly different location, and someone might of done their hair !

@Bellsofstclements Wow... she's better off without you judging her! 🙄

For all those telling me Im jealous etc, Im guessing you are the people that use the phrase .....? Do you ever actually say it outside of social media.... IE do you actually say to your DH - lets go out for Date Night ? Do you say to the babysitter "can you babysit for Date Night?" do you tell your friends - "oh Ive just had a lovely Date Night"? - I find that baffling.

And I work with my DH, hes one of my favourite people ever, we go out all the time during the day, at night, nights away by ourselves, and I have never felt the need to catagorise it as Date Night. Its just going out / eating at xx / having a laugh.

How does it affect you OP?

I don't give a shit how other people conduct their relationships. As long as no one is being harmed then I have zero feeling towards what they do.

Can't imaging getting the "rage".

Seems a tad dramaitc.

speakout - really??
Have you never posted on mumsnet about something slightly trivial which gets on your tits for no apparent reason?

Yes, people I know use it in RL, and I would indeed say to the babysitter we're having a date night can you look after the dc.
I think it predates social media by quite a few years.

When looking for grand parents to baby sit. Stating you want a date night does help.

It's an Americanism, first time I heard it used that way at least (it was still generally called "going out" rather than dating in the U.K. then), in America my friends have daddy daughter dates, mummy son dates etc as well. It doesn't bother me except to say that you should not need to have specific date nights as a couple, it shows how our ability to have relationships in the modern world is suffering

MyNameIsIrrelevant I'm sure she doesn't give a flying fuck what I think but I don't want to see it. People on SM are welcome to block me too if they find my zero updates annoyingly twee.

@DelphicOracle both my husband and I hate this phrase (together 22 years, married 14), we say we go out, have a meal, go to a bar, go to the cinema etc. The only thing YABU about is using the word frock, this for me is the same as the way you feel about holibobs, hubby, and date night!

I think it's a bit twee. I agree that the idea is nice but I'm not dating DH we're bloody married. Why not just say "going out for dinner", "going to see a film" or whatever?

And I work with my DH, hes one of my favourite people ever, we go out all the time during the day, at night, nights away by ourselves, and I have never felt the need to catagorise it as Date Night. Its just going out / eating at xx / having a laugh

But Oracle as you say you go out all the time together and have nights away, when our children were small financially that was beyond our reach, ditto paying babysitters so to go out was a huge deal for us.

I hate this phrase.

But not as much as I hate “holibobs” and “Hubbie”.

How about a wee date night with hubbie to cheer you up before you go off on your holibobs with the little man?
VOMIT

I'm with you OP. It's a horrible term

I hate the expression, but really, you can "date" your husband.

Saying you are going out for diner is enough though, no need to talk about dating.