Bullied at sch by DB GF and she is still the same. Do I tell ?

[Highfivemum]

Here goes.
My brother who is in his late 30’s and a great man has recently introduced me to his girlfriend,he has confided in me he intends on proposing to her on her birthday in October. My brother and I are very close due to family circumastances. He is a widow having lost his first wife 3 years ago. This is his first girlfriend since and they have been dating for 4 months. They met abroad as they were both working, hence this was the first time I met her. I thought she looked a tad familiar when I said hello and i racked my brains as to why I thought she looked vaguely familiar. She seemed fine. Polite and I was happy that my DB seemed happy after years of sadness. While saying good bye I suddenly got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. She was a girl who bullied me for 18 months at school. She literally made my life hell. I moved schools and had not seen her since she was about 15. Our school had a huge catchment area and she lived on the other side of where we did so never saw her again. The awful feelings I got resurfaced. I mentioned it to my DH and we both agreed as she seem really nice and pleasant not to rock the boat as it was a long time ago. Last night we met up again. During our conversation my brother mentioned schools. He is 8 years younger than me so didn’t go to the school she did and had no Idea about us. She has told him she went to a totally different school. He then said we were the same age so would have been in the same school year. I just said yes and left it there. I went to the toilet and as I was leaving she was stood there she said to me. She knew I knew who she was from the past and I would i not to say anything as she loved him. I was about to say it’s in the past and let’s leave it there. But she then said if you do say something you will regret it !!!! I will move home away and cut you out of his life. !! I was mortified. I felt shaky all like I did as a kid again. Don’t know how I kept my composure to go back to my DH. She came out all smiles cuddling my brother.
Do I tell him. I love my DB so much and I can’t bear him to be hurt but I worry she will pull him away and I will lose him.

Very brave OP.

Your brother deserves to be with a nice person. One who doesn't threaten the people he loves.

She sounds awful. You really did do the right thing.

Iv just read your posts to my OH, hes horrified, let us know what happens. My OH said your DH & DB sound like good men, we're both sending you

Well done OP!!

Well done op I know you don't feel it right now but you have done the right thing telling him so he knows what she is really like

Well Done to OP, your brother and your husband.

I have been in a similar situation op its really shit. my dsis dated a man who bullied me to the point of several suicide attempts. he and his group of boys would beat me up almost daily during high school (im female btw) my whole family sided with him over me and told me to get over it and that he was lovely untill he veat dsis black and blue and then it was all "omg ammaretto was right" my relationship with my family has never truly healed and i still have nighmares about them dismissing me.

Why won't you tell him? He's your brother

Just scrolled up and realised you've told him Well done. On top of all else, she's a liar too. Bet she had an oh shit moment when she saw you. Serves her right

He has left now and I asked what will he do and he said no way will she be with him the next time he is over.

OP this comment concerned me, did this mean your DB might carry on the relationship and simply keep you both apart will he ?

Tell him
Make sounds like a first class bitch .

Omg he's not planning on staying with her is he?

You've done him a favour. Someone like that could never be a good person to be married to. She's obviously still a bully and may have ended up bullying him or future children if they had them

Well done OP, hope you’re okay

Sorry for the late join. I'm just so sorry that this woman has effected your lives so horribly . Your db sounds like a very good guy and he will be better without her. People can be so nasty

Do they both live & work abroad?

I'm hoping if he decides to leave her then he will have support on hand.

She'll probably try to twist it-say that she regrets what happened at school & that she's changed, deny the threat of taking him away.

4 months is such a short time though so imo, nothing really lost if he does stop seeing her.

I hope she’s not able to talk her way out of it. Well done OP. Poor guy.

What an idiot, she’s shot herself in the foot now... you were about the let it go before she revealed she’s still a bully bitch!!

I would tell my DB, but only if I was confident he would take what you tell him on board (ie side with you). Otherwise you’re playing into her hands and letting her do exactly what she’s threatened - driving a wedge between you and your DB.

It sounds like you're surrounded by wonderful people. You did the right thing.

I think you did the right thing. However I’m sure she’ll give your DH some sob story about her childhood as a reason for her poor behavior.

I hope he doesn’t fall for it.

She only has power if you don't tell him. Tell him.

Thank you everyone. Having all your reassuring comments throughout today has really helped me. 💐 you are all so lovely.
It saddens me to hear how many people are affected by bullying and I totally understand how it stays with you, no matter how old we are. I wish you all nothing but happiness.
Bad news is I have a few texts from gf firstly how sorry she was for what she did all those years ago and then to say I misunderstood her last night ( I didn’t ). She loves him dearly and was scared of losing him. She wanted me to speak to him to tell him please that I should give her a chance. 😡 I haven’t replied to any of them. The good news is my DB called me to say she admitted she bullied me at school but it was part of a gang and she wasn’t the ring leader ( not true ). It was only a short time and she was deeply sorry.( it was 18 long months ) She said I must of mis understood her yesterday and thinks I am overreacting due to being pregnant. She loves him and was scared of losing him. All the tears etc. I must admit I was worried this would happen so wasn’t surprised by her actions. He told her it was over 😁 and no matter what she says now will change the fact that she is a bully. She apparently begged him to try again. Promises etc and he said he told her no. Please leave my family alone. I must admit I was shocked as to how strong he sounded. He was more worried I was ok really. My DH will be going over to his at the weekend as they in training for a charity run so will keep my eye on him. But i am def feeling so much better than this morning.
Thank you

And they all lived happily ever after
Ah op I'm so happy for you
Karma gets you in the end
Best wishes with the rest of your pregnancy x

It was pretty obvious that she would say what she did & thank goodness that your brother believed you about the threat.

Don’t fall for it and crack, OP. I would have been in the give her a chance camp but she shat on herself there.

Sounds like the wool has fallen from his eyes. If he's dropped her that quickly his feelings for her didn't run as deep as he thought they did. A lucky escape for everyone. Well done OP.