Bullied at sch by DB GF and she is still the same. Do I tell ?

[Highfivemum]

Here goes.
My brother who is in his late 30’s and a great man has recently introduced me to his girlfriend,he has confided in me he intends on proposing to her on her birthday in October. My brother and I are very close due to family circumastances. He is a widow having lost his first wife 3 years ago. This is his first girlfriend since and they have been dating for 4 months. They met abroad as they were both working, hence this was the first time I met her. I thought she looked a tad familiar when I said hello and i racked my brains as to why I thought she looked vaguely familiar. She seemed fine. Polite and I was happy that my DB seemed happy after years of sadness. While saying good bye I suddenly got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. She was a girl who bullied me for 18 months at school. She literally made my life hell. I moved schools and had not seen her since she was about 15. Our school had a huge catchment area and she lived on the other side of where we did so never saw her again. The awful feelings I got resurfaced. I mentioned it to my DH and we both agreed as she seem really nice and pleasant not to rock the boat as it was a long time ago. Last night we met up again. During our conversation my brother mentioned schools. He is 8 years younger than me so didn’t go to the school she did and had no Idea about us. She has told him she went to a totally different school. He then said we were the same age so would have been in the same school year. I just said yes and left it there. I went to the toilet and as I was leaving she was stood there she said to me. She knew I knew who she was from the past and I would i not to say anything as she loved him. I was about to say it’s in the past and let’s leave it there. But she then said if you do say something you will regret it !!!! I will move home away and cut you out of his life. !! I was mortified. I felt shaky all like I did as a kid again. Don’t know how I kept my composure to go back to my DH. She came out all smiles cuddling my brother.
Do I tell him. I love my DB so much and I can’t bear him to be hurt but I worry she will pull him away and I will lose him.

Well done OP. Incredibly hard but you have done the right, and only thing you could.

The stupid thing is, if she’d apologised in the toilets for her behaviour, it’s likely OP wouldn’t have said anything

She lied to him, then lied about the lying and then tried to blame it on your hormones. He saw through it. You should be very proud of him.

Your brother sounds ace! Far better he knows now rather than sometime in the future; well done OP. That must have been hard for you to do💐

Lovely bit of victim blaming from her there with the pregnancy comment

Fantastic news OP, and how dare she ask you to speak on her behalf after everything to put you through, including last night, which just proved she was the same vile bully she was all those years ago. I hope you DB is okay and able to move on from this viper. Credit to him for swiftly ending things, and to think he was going to propose to her next month thank gawd you she showed her true colours.

Tell him, my ex husband's sister was in the year above me in school & bullied me very badly. She was all smiles & very nice at first but as our marriage started falling apart she turned back in to the bully she was before.

Block her number and anything on social media.

Good
Outcome

OP I was also bullied 3 years and for some random reason searched her up . Child just started secondary which bought it back . Anyway my
Bully died 2 years ago . It never leaves
You does it . My bully left children behind her .

Your brother is amazing

So glad you told your brother and that he was strong enough to finish with her. Hopefully she will realise what damage she has done now and what she has lost by her spiteful behaviour.

Fab brother you have ⭐️

If she is texting you on phone, block her number. If on social media, block her. She has some neck trying to backtrack now and make out that you are so hormonal you must have misunderstood what she said - she's still at it, still bullying and manipulating. Only this time she's been caught out and stood up to. I'm delighted your brother didn't fall for her bullshit explanations. Hope she leaves you all alone now.

We'll done OP for doing the right thing and what an amazing brother you have.

Do not reply and please block this woman now. She will never change and it's time she felt some good old fashioned karma for her actions.

Thank goodness.

I think it takes a certain type of personality to bully, day in day out being deliberately horrible to someone, and making them miserable.

For me, I would never trust that person again.
I would never want them in my life or close to me.
I do not believe people can change that much.
Perhaps some can but I certainly wouldn't consider giving them the chance to show me.

I think your db will meet someone else worthy of him.
He's a lucky man to have you as a sister and very lucky to have the intelligence to believe whats being told to him.

He accepted the red flags being waved at him and has saved himself huge headache by doing so.

She hasn't changed one bit. She thought she could intimidate you.

Not only is she a bully she also sounds like a very stupid person. She reverted to type, and that tells you OP everything you need to know.

Well done for being brave💐👍

Brilliant outcome OP. I am absolutely sure once her feet were under the table her true character would surface. Reminds me of Paul McCartney's first wife who died and was the love of his life, then he met that awful woman who basically ripped him off. Having had a wonderful first wife/partner who dies leaves you very very vulnerable to seemingly charming people

And if she ever speaks to you again make sure you record it as bullies are terrifically manipulative liars

Your poor DB but you absolutely did the right thing.... I have no doubt you will be receiving some messages from her which will validate that she is still a bully.....

What an absolute gem of a brother, you have OP.

I'm not sure I would block her - it looks like her texts would make interesting reading for your brother if he's ever considering a change of heart.

Hopefully someone as decent as your DB won't be alone for long.

Wow I’m so glad you told your brother. I’m so glad he listened and made his own mind up about that piece of shit. Leopards don’t change their spots.
Shows what a close and loving relationship you and your brother have, it’s so lovely you’re looking out for one another

Your DB sounds amazing (put in a word from me, I'm nice!)

Fantastic outcome but do make sure your dB knows that all her excuses (you misunderstood, not the ringleader, not for very long) are all simply not true. This isn't over yet, I fear. If she comes to your door, make sure to have your mobile in your hand on record so that if/when she flies into a rage and starts threatening you again, you have the most solid of solid evidence. Refreshing, isnt it, to see bullies get their come-uppance for once!

I hope you told your db that she is again lying and that there was no misunderstanding about her threats.

How does she have your number?

Tell him quietly and calmly exactly as you told us. Make it clear that you were ok with leaving it in the past until her threat.
Make it clear you will be there to support him whatever he decides to do with the information.