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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this infuriating.

548 replies

Burtiebojangles · 12/09/2019 03:31

New family just moved in to a rented house technically down the side of our house. They have 4 cars, one parking space. The street has space for 5 cars in total, so they deem this a suitable place to park - right across our drive.

Having asked them to move it, I got told they have nowhere to park and he doesn’t want his daughter walking too far to get to her car. Aibu to think we shouldn’t be inconvenienced because these people didn’t think ahead when deciding to rent this house, and what the hell can you do in these circumstances?

To find this infuriating.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
drinkygin · 23/10/2019 21:34

So sorry you’re going through this. They sound deranged. Hopefully the police will take it seriously now

Raspberrytruffle · 23/10/2019 21:53

It would be an awful shame if there car were to be vandalised in some way, I suggest keying the word knob on the car, tyres being let down?

StoneofDestiny · 24/10/2019 00:02

Try and get the other neighbours to complain to the police also. Make sure your complaint isn't just about parking, but about harassment and intimidation.

Burtiebojangles · 24/10/2019 01:39

3 hours sleep and just woke up feeling sick to my stomach, baby’s been up crying which is unlike him now as he sleeps through. I think we’re all just uncomfortable and unsettled.

Still nothing from the police yet. Feeling so paranoid with every little sound tonight though. Their kid left but as he was driving off stopped in front of our house for a good 5 minutes staring in and at our car.

Thank you for all being with me and letting me vomit my emotions on here and keeping me company through my sleepless nights 😊.

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 24/10/2019 02:38

ganging the neighbours up standing in front of our house calling me crazy

Were the neighbours ganging up with them outside your house?

custardbear · 24/10/2019 04:18

Glad it's Come to a head and I hope the police actually do something now - make sure you tell them everything when they come and how they're abusing you and when you're with a young child too - bloody arseholes! They're the ones in the wrong and making some sort of hate campaign about their wrongful behaviours

MyKingdomForBrie · 24/10/2019 04:39

My god what awful people, I'm so sorry you have to live next door to these absolute twats.

MrsKittySmith · 24/10/2019 05:40

Speak to the police and local authority ASB team about a Community protection notice (CPN). Both have the authority to issue these to prevent unreasonable behaviour that is having a negative impact on the local community's quality of life.
Basically the neighbors would first get a written warning re thier behaviour, family and visitors behaviour and it will stipulate they were not to cause any neighbours harassment, alarm or distress, they could also put in a clause about not blocking access to your drive. If they continued to do this a notice would be served and breach of that would be on the spot fine or court and larger fine. If your neighbour is a police officer senior officers would not be happy about this as they have to be squeaky clean, no fines, criminal record etc!

Orangecake123 · 24/10/2019 05:51

Thanks for the diagram! But it made sense with the photo. I would start parking in front of your own drive.

Orangecake123 · 24/10/2019 05:55

Oh wow just read the other page. They sound absolutely nuts. I'm sorry you're going through this.

ChikiTIKI · 24/10/2019 06:50

Your neighbours are crackers! Hopefully they will move house, think that's the only resolution at this point!

Burtiebojangles · 24/10/2019 07:44

@Chloe84 yep, actually on our property. It was the mum and kid of their next door neighbour. The dog was running about all over our drive, her kid was staring into our window smirking and the mum was doing crazy gestures with her hands. The one who went off on me and my husband had parked on our corner and they were parked down the side of our drive but he was so close to their car he blocked her in, so I’m guessing she asked him to move it so she could get out and he took his opportunity to probably chat shit and get some back up to intimidate me.

He then moved his car where she was parked, rang his friend who came over then they were just loitering about outside my house with his boot open. His mum came back after a while and they went to the house but stayed by the front door. Then dad came home, parked on the corner (space on the street and obviously the humongous drive so he knew what he was doing too) stared at our drive as he was walking past (I must have a very interesting house the way they all look at it) and the kid still stayed by the door. It was then I knew he was waiting for my husband, but it makes me wonder how he knew what time he gets home. Judging by the fact when the wife initially had a pop at us, she must’ve been watching for when we got home because we’d just got back from hospital so I can’t help but think that they’re actually watching us quite a lot. I did notice when I was digging up the front the other day the daughter opened the window really wide. It’s not like it’s that warm now. But, I don’t even know what bloody time my husband gets home, he rings me every day when he finishes work and I have to ask how long he’ll be.

But this was all because I was by the window when their son came home (3 storey house, top floor so why would you be looking up there to see me? But it’s where my son‘a crib is so it’s like I get attacked now for looking after my baby because I’m near a window in my own house, I can’t live with my curtains closed. But he started giving me the finger, smirking, thumbs up so I just opened the window and asked him if he found harassment funny. He told me what he’s doing isn’t illegal, I told him it’s harassment and closed the window. It wasn’t even a massive altercation but it shook me up because I’m at home on my own with my son. So I called the police straight away and burst into tears that just did not stop lol, I must’ve sounded like a right hysterical mess.

When my husband got home the son was sat waiting in his car, the way he was parked was probably around 2 metres from our front door so he blatantly knew he was going to stop my husband by being there, as soon as my husband got out of his car the kid asked him if he had a problem with him parking on the corner so my husband was calm and said yeah, you’re blocking access to my drive, but I’ve got more of a problem with you intimidating my wife, shes just rang me in a right state, it was at that point the kid FLIPPED flung open the car door onto my husband, told him he was going to do something him (husband didn’t hear exactly what was said) and squared up to him. My husband took his glasses off and stood there told him to take a swing at him if he wanted and the son got right into his face, SCREAMING at him, this is when I got to the window and told him to get inside. He told the kid that we’d already phoned the police and he backed off to his house saying he’ll wait for them then - then the rest of the family went out and the kid stayed behind for about an hour then went, but made sure to stop in front of our house staring in for 5 minutes before he drove off.

Husband rang 101, took an hour to get through but they took note of everything, told my husband it was assault and that the complaint about The CID threat would be passed on to internal forces as they frown upon job titles being used as a threat, linked our complaints and said they’d pass it onto the local police who’d be in touch.

Obviously not heard anything yet but it was late by the time he got off the phone and they did seem really busy last night.

Sorry for the rambling, disjointed post, just a bit more context to what actually happened last night.

@MrsKittySmith I was actually thinking about if they’d issue a restraining order. The council ASB team won’t even help, they told us it was a police matter so I’m expecting the police to say it’s a council matter again, but we have a crime reference number for the assault now rather than just a communications reference so fingers crossed. It does make me wonder now though if the dad thinks he’s keeping his hands clean by sending his kids to do his work. I can’t understand why a young adult would be so incensed by us asking their dad not not to block our drive, it’s got to be the parents that’s have hyped it up.

Crapping myself at being home alone again today, though. It’s so stupid, it’s ruining my maternity leave because I don’t want to leave the house because they’re always there. I’ll never get this time back, it’s already been shit with so many hospital appointments but I go back to work next month, I want to make the most of it. 😟

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 24/10/2019 08:34

You poor thing. Sounds so stressful. Hopefully the police will be in contact today and do something about it

Bored40 · 24/10/2019 09:21

Sorry you're going through this OP. I know this might sound an odd thing to say, but whilst what's happening right now is horrible, in one way it's good that that it's escalated - this family are stupid enough hi have crossed a line that will result in action being taken. They havent stayed under the radar in a way that would mean you're stuck with being irritated but not able to do anything.
Your DH sounds ace for keeping his cool with the kid. I don't know how old the kid is but I can't help but wonder if they wanted to provoke him so they could claim he was a fault.
NB one tip re phoning 101 is to call from a mobile, if you haven't already, it usually gets answered quicker than phoning from a landline.

Burtiebojangles · 24/10/2019 10:11

The police have just called round and focused on the parking again. They said they’d have a word with him and tell him to stay away from us but I said the issue isn’t the parking it’s the harassment and intimidation. Asked them what’s happening about the assault last night and they didn’t even know anything about it. I said 2 incidents were reported last night so they said they’d go and check it out. I just feel like we’re getting nowhere.

OP posts:
elessar · 24/10/2019 10:18

I wouldn't say the parking isn't the issue because it is still a problem - you don't want them to stop the harassment but to carry on parking over your drive.

Pretty bad form that they didn't know about the report - why were they coming out then?

Advice on rainypuddles thread is to make a complaint to the police if you're finding they are not dealing with it properly - might be worth taking that route.

RandomMess · 24/10/2019 10:41
Thanks

Presumably you have incident numbers for each report to the police?

ChikiTIKI · 24/10/2019 10:59

Do the neighbours know you have needed the drive clear for access to the hospital for your baby? If so, they are all dicks

Burtiebojangles · 24/10/2019 11:13

@elessar true, I end up getting too emotional and just want them to know what the real issue it. I’ve put it all in a timeline now so hopefully I can get my point across. They did say they’re going to have a word with him and sort something out, they know what’s his drive now and we’re surprised as it was so big so fingers crossed. I just want them to come when my husband is in so I don’t look like such a wimp. They did say that the daughter was nice and understanding and seemed shocked when I told them she’s been part of it. They’re obviously trying to seem reasonable after last night.

@RandomMess yeah, we’ve got references for them all. I didn’t write down the one last night but when my husband rang she said not to worry she’d find the report and connect it with his that we have a crime reference number for.

@chikitiki yep, we told the wife when she came round shouting the odds, I think that’s why it’s got worse because they know we’re in a shit situation and want a reaction from us to counteract their shitty behaviour. The policeman this morning even picked up that that’s what they’ll be doing.

OP posts:
ChikiTIKI · 24/10/2019 13:24

Good grief. So do they want your husband to hit one of them so they can justify being so awful to your family? They are just awful aren't they 😐

Best thing to do is not engage with them I suppose. They just want a reaction. Maybe they will get bored eventually. It will annoy them at first though ut surely hey can't keep up this behaviour for much longer... Hard to ignore someone blocking the entrance to your property though.

I'm sorry you're having to live through this 😞

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 24/10/2019 13:28

Have you paid to do the LR search yet? If not, you need to do that ASAP.

Burtiebojangles · 24/10/2019 14:59

@ChikiTIKI it seems like it. The dad must be feeding him the information if he got cocky saying it wasn’t illegal what he was doing. It was probably when I told him it’s harassment that he felt like he had to try and push my husband to hit him.

I’d just think that if the dad is a police man, would he not just have a back bone and come and speak to us instead of setting his feral kids on us? Surely he’d be trained in reasoning?

@RumpoleoftheBaileys not yet. The letting agency have pulled their finger out since my husband told them it’s a police matter now.

I don’t know if by not managing the property I’ve confused people. Might not have because they’re still good points to check the land registry but just to clarify (I looked at their letting packages online) they find the tenants, do all the formal stuff like the tenancy agreements, take deposits and rent and deal with terminations as a bare minimum. They just don’t do the day to day stuff like my boilers broke. I know this could still be classed as one of those things but we’ll see how it goes now the landlord should actually be aware. I’m a tight Yorkshire girl, that £3 is half a bottle of wine and statutory maternity pay is harsh 😉.

OP posts:
ChikiTIKI · 24/10/2019 15:40

Seems like an odd situation to me. I don't think he is a police officer. I hope they get bored of their games soon.

cordeliavorkosigan · 24/10/2019 16:01

Absolutely insane, definitely get some video coverage. This sounds so frustrating.

simplekindoflife · 24/10/2019 16:03

Just RTFT... what utter bastards! If the batshit husband is a police officer then he should be sacked! Shocking behaviour. Really hope you get somewhere with it. Take photos and videos for evidence whenever you can.

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