I've tried (and failed) a few times to write a post that describes growing up in a loyalist area, ruled by a mix of the uvf/uda, and what it's like to lie in bed at night, hearing bombs go off a few streets away, screaming and shouting, fireworks used as weapons, rioting, etc on a regular basis. Hearing vile, hateful and blatantly sectarian shite on a daily basis, often from your own family.
This documentary explains how things were in a way I can't (without it turning into an essay or book at least). It's accurate, I would have been 10 when it was made in 2002. It was horrific. Phrases like "uvf death squad", aren't an exaggeration. My mother was raised a 5 minute walk away from the short strand, my grandmother was still living there when we would stay with her every weekend. Our own area about 3 miles the other way, was worse in many ways, the psni wouldn't enter the area. A school friends father was executed, another narrowly avoided it, others were "put out" or given punishment shootings or beatings. But back to my grans area, here it is