Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Niece did a 'reactions' haul video for 18th birthday presents...

403 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 11/09/2019 09:32

I don't know if I am out of touch with the youth of today [I'm only in my 30s but I feel seriously old right now despite working in social media] but I'm feeling pretty offended by this.
My niece turned 18th recently so we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided.
We got her a necklace she'd asked for, for example, but other people couldn't afford to splash out and got vouchers or something smaller.
She's recently become very active on Youtube and Instagram, which is fine and pretty usual, but she saved all her presents from her birthday bbq as she said she wanted to open them later - again, fine.
However the real reason she wanted to open them later is because she wanted to open them during a video and show her live reactions to them, rating them with a thumbs up or thumbs down and saying things like 'Thanks but not thanks Auntie XXX'

I wasn't aware of the video until she shared it on her Facebook page - she's friends with lots of family members on there so people will have seen it. My mum isn't on Facebook but heard about it [her present got a thumbs down] and is mortified and really hurt.

I want to say something to her mum about it but DH thinks I should let it go and not get involved.

What would you do?

OP posts:
OMGshefoundmeout · 11/09/2019 10:59

I would comment, nothing huge but a sad face and ‘I’m glad you,liked so many of your presents but I hope Aunty XXX and Granny don’t hear about this’.

LolaSmiles · 11/09/2019 11:00

It is only on MN that individuals are expected, in the second the clock strikes midnight on their 18th birthday, to have matured into an adult. IRL I have never come across such high expectations

I wasn't aware that expecting basic levels of human decency was unreasonable.

In fact I'm fairly sure you could walk into any KS2 classroom and they'd say that was mean and ungrateful and unpleasant.

It's horrible,nasty behaviour from someone who has got to 18 and honestly behaves in such a bratty way. Sharing everything online can be explained by her age and lack of maturity. The central part of the unpleasant behaviour and attitude and naming and shaming people if you don't like their present has nothing to do with maturity, it's about personality.

HeadintheiClouds · 11/09/2019 11:02

She’s a rude, obnoxious little cow. This is not “typical of 18 year old’s” in the slightest. Most of them have slightly more cop on than this.
I’d be ashamed if my dd had so little nous at 18.

Actionhasmagic · 11/09/2019 11:02

This is sooo bad. Where are young people learning this behaviour is okay?

ChangeItChild · 11/09/2019 11:06

My DS has just turned 18, it's not an age thing. This is shockingly rude and unacceptable, I would be mortified if I'd raised a child who behaved like this.

I would definitely be saying something to her, tell her your mum is very hurt and embarrassed by her public rejection of her gift.

She wouldn't be getting any more gifts if money from us anymore either.

RasberryRoyale · 11/09/2019 11:06

How obnoxious! She’s 18 not 8! Share the video with all in the family.

Helmetbymidnight · 11/09/2019 11:06

That is BAD.

My young kids have plenty of room for improvement in their manners, but jaysus, they would never dream of behaving like that.

If you like the girl normally, I'd send her a note saying, I feel that was a bad idea, very disappointed that you would treat people who love you like that, but love to catch up in the future...

starfishcoffee · 11/09/2019 11:07

Really rude. I'm only slightly older, would never dream about doing something like that. I would call her out on it, comment on the video shared. It's harsh but it's probably a good lesson for her to learn, she's not a child anymore and actions do have repercussions.

ermwhatda · 11/09/2019 11:08

18 is technically an adult, but really, you're still a teenager at that age. I would definitely have a word with her.

I'd say, 'look, I know you think it's all cool, showing off your haul, but you've made yourself look like a spoilt brat. Your Nanna is offended by your mean comments about her present and you should probably apologise to her. Second thing to do, is make another video where you tell your followers about how you regret getting caught up in YouTube nonsense and hurting your Nan's feelings and advising them to be more mindful with showing off their 'hauls' in the future.

MLMhun · 11/09/2019 11:13

I just disappeared down a rabbit hole of a few 18th birthday haul videos on You Tube, the few I watched had girls grateful for everything they showed so obviously your niece is not displaying normal teen behaviour and needs to be called out on this.

PonderingPanda · 11/09/2019 11:14

@Bellasblankexpression absolutely disgraceful and l think you owe it to her to tell her, even if it's just so she can reflect on what she's done. Afterall if no-one tells her then how will she know her judgement was way off!!

I would also tell her parents (your sister???) how hurt you and the Grandparents are.

Figgygal · 11/09/2019 11:16

So rude and both she and her mother would be told so

LolaSmiles · 11/09/2019 11:16

18 is technically an adult, but really, you're still a teenager at that age. I would definitely have a word with her.
Most children wouldn't even behave like this. This behaviour above the age of around 10 is very unpleasant. To behave like that in early adulthood is awful.

Blueoasis · 11/09/2019 11:19

@Usernumbers1234

She put them on public platforms, one of them being YouTube. Can't get much more public than that. The op has put a lot of details on here. Other people have already been searching for this video and the media are probably better at that. So the likelihood is, it's going to end up in the papers. But the girl wants to be famous, otherwise why do the video? If you want to be famous you get the downsides too. She's probably about to find out what they are.

Whatevskev · 11/09/2019 11:20

The vast majority of young people would know this is a terrible thing to do.
It’s not excusable because she is young

And I wouldn’t keep quiet no.
I would call whichever parent you are related to and ask if they have seen it and if they condone it.
If they do then I’d happily advise I won’t be purchasing said niece any gifts for future days or Xmas.

And yes I’d post on the FB page too.
Just a simple ‘you might find the ‘haul’to be a bit smaller next year after this’

MorganKitten · 11/09/2019 11:20

I wouldn’t get her anything in the future

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 11/09/2019 11:22

I don't think she is a "vile young woman" at all. I think shes 18. Sometimes 18 year olds can be incredibly stupid, and insensitive to others. But that doesn't make them vile, they just have more growing to do.

Really? Hmm I think most 10 year olds would know how wrong this is, like a pp said the only correct response to a present is a smile and a thank you.

Mrsjayy · 11/09/2019 11:24

proper Adults behave like this Gemma Collins the kardashians Simon Cwell etc etc they just wrap it up in a telling it like it is bow. Then you get trollers , this girl is a symptom of all of that she thinks it is acceptable to say her Auntie gave her a shit present all for a thumbs up !

Rubyupbeat · 11/09/2019 11:24

Bloody disgusting, ungrateful ow. Really feel for your mum.
I hate these haul videos. Some of the awful YouTube families do the same, to me it's very boastful and chavvy.
Like the photos of kids pressies under the tree.
Making so many people materialistic.

GlasshouseStoneThrower · 11/09/2019 11:26

It is only on MN that individuals are expected, in the second the clock strikes midnight on their 18th birthday, to have matured into an adult. IRL I have never come across such high expectations

Most children are a lot younger than 18 by the time they learn to be polite and gracious about gifts.

RuggerHug · 11/09/2019 11:26

Comment publicly asking if she's returning the gifts that didn't reach her standards or where will she be donating them? Vile behaviour from her though.

CassianAndor · 11/09/2019 11:28

stupid little girl

But who the fuck has a gift list for their 18th? Sounds like she's been allowed to become very entitled and do as she pleases.

So I'd be giving a very good long hard Paddington stare to her parents.

FrancisCrawford · 11/09/2019 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trewser · 11/09/2019 11:28

She sounds incredibly immature and emotionally stunted.

Bedheadretention · 11/09/2019 11:29

Let her know on Facebook the haul video has been viewed by you, and say you look forward to the follow up 'apology to my relatives' video!