AIBU Niece did a 'reactions' haul video for 18th birthday presents...

[Bellasblankexpression]

I don't know if I am out of touch with the youth of today [I'm only in my 30s but I feel seriously old right now despite working in social media] but I'm feeling pretty offended by this.
My niece turned 18th recently so we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided.
We got her a necklace she'd asked for, for example, but other people couldn't afford to splash out and got vouchers or something smaller.
She's recently become very active on Youtube and Instagram, which is fine and pretty usual, but she saved all her presents from her birthday bbq as she said she wanted to open them later - again, fine.
However the real reason she wanted to open them later is because she wanted to open them during a video and show her live reactions to them, rating them with a thumbs up or thumbs down and saying things like 'Thanks but not thanks Auntie XXX'

I wasn't aware of the video until she shared it on her Facebook page - she's friends with lots of family members on there so people will have seen it. My mum isn't on Facebook but heard about it [her present got a thumbs down] and is mortified and really hurt.

I want to say something to her mum about it but DH thinks I should let it go and not get involved.

What would you do?

OP - if you're still reading I think the advice from LetsSplashMummy seems to be the best approach. It won't humiliate her but it will make her think about the consequences to her actions when creating future videos. Lets hope she can take the current video down soon too for her own sake.

What a little madam

Seriously,never but her anything ever again!

Bet she won’t YouTube that

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

My "out of touch" comment was in relation to the use of social media in general, and the apparent lack of ability for people on this thread to understand the sense of disconnect that exists for some young people between online and real life.

Note I said some young people. Not all.

To me, manners have never gone out of fashion.

Well they seem to have been temporarily disabled for this thread.

If you like to be 'that parent' who accepts this vile behaviour and think yourself trendy for doing so, you go right ahead.

Your whole post is pretty disingenuous, but this part is totally unnecessary.

I think people’s reactions are somewhat OTT, but I think this is perfectly understandable. 18 years old may not be fully grown up, but in my opinion it is definitely old enough to know that it is rude to be ungrateful for presents, and beyond rude to film and publicise your ingratitude with no thought for the way this will hurt the feelings of her relatives.

She has basically gone public saying “look what a shit gift my grandma got me”! - and that is inexcusable behaviour. It is shocking from someone who is old enough to vote, or get married without parental permission - and people are expressing their shock in strong terms.

This is an anonymous forum. She is unlikely to see what people are saying about her - whereas the people whose gifts she disparaged were pretty much sure to see her nasty and ungrateful reaction.

I don't think she is a "vile young woman" at all. I think shes 18. Sometimes 18 year olds can be incredibly stupid, and insensitive to others. But that doesn't make them vile, they just have more growing to do.

My kids knew from the day they could talk to say thank you and shut up. As if you can excuse rude and nasty behaviour because she is 18!

Think I found it

I think something's gone wrong in her upbringing for her to think this is ok at 18.

@Goodlookingcreature share!
It would be interesting to know if some of the remarks about her on here are warranted.
Op seems to have disappeared

@Goodlookingcreature I've looked but can't figure out which one.

OP may be working and not able to use a phone.

My dd likes a lot of beauty/lifestyle youtubers and I haven't seen anything like this, its normally just someone either opening or showing their gifts off in a pleasant way and saying thankyou.

I think the point that @Glitterpearl is trying to make is that the insults being thrown around her is as bad as the niece from the OP.
@Glitterpearl is not defending her behaviour. Her behaviour was inconsiderate to say the list. The issue is that people are calling this 18 year old names which is disproportionate to the video. They are saying she is entitled, a bitch, a whore and a vile person. They are not saying this behaviour is vile, horrible, entitled etc.

I have only seen a couple of posts where people are saying that this behaviour is standard.

People are right, 18 is legally classed as an adult but from my experience of 18 year olds (and obviously being 18) is that although you are aware of consequences, it’s still only short term consequences you consider. Saying that, I don’t know any 18 year olds (except maybe my sister at the time) that would actually be so rude as to not only make a video of this but to also post it on social media.
Unboxing PR hauls/rating products you have personally bought is completely different to ‘reacting’ to items which have been bought for you by family or friends for any occasion. It was very short sighted of her not to think that by posting it to social media (and more specifically Facebook) that someone who bought her a gift would see it

Haul/reaction/unboxing videos are quite common and seem to get popular at the minute. It's not even just 18th birthday hauls, it's any birthday and it's not a generation thing as I've seen middle aged men and women post gift haul videos, there's small children posting gift hauls too (assuming with the help of the parents to video and edit)

Typing 18th birthday haul brings up loads of results, you get even more if you just type "birthday haul"

I get some in my recommended feed regularly. I don't think an 18 year old trying to gain a following on social media doing a haul video is that unusual in today's world. The thumbs downing and criticising people for the gifts they've given is very rude and I unusual though. The gift haul videos I've seen they are thankful for every single gift and don't make shitty comments like "thanks but no thanks"

That type of entitled attitude doesn't grow overnight though, she's likely had that entitled attitude pandered too as she's grown by her parents and family for some time now.

I’ve also had a scope around YouTube, and switched the upload date to within the last month, but I can’t seem to find one which is a) British (assuming), and b) shows the gifts being opened actually on camera.

Which one did you reckon it was, @Goodlookingcreature?

Oh please people, let's not name and shame.

It's not making it any better.

@londonjax That is such a lovely anecdote. And what a fab lesson for your DS.
I am horrified about the use of SM these days but in the case of the OP's niece, I think that it says quite a bit about how she was brought up - if the writing of thank you cards, and the receiving of presents graciously had been instilled, this probably wouldn't have happened. Publicly lambasting her might be counter-productive but a quiet but firm word from a family member - OP that's you - could set her straight? By the way, the person who mentioned "future employer" is quite right - I check out applicants' social media and will use their online persona as part of my sift. I don't imagine I'm alone in this sort of pre-shortlisting, either.

Yep, she needs a short sharp word before she gets worse.

If her accounts were open and searchable to her family, then I think the girl sounds like a candidate for the Darwin Awards.

Rude and graceless as her behaviour was, perhaps @Bellasblankexpression and family should be thankful she’s only doing that rather than filming herself doing starjumps on the edge of a crumbly cliff or practising ‘extreme yoga’ hanging off a balcony?

By the way, the person who mentioned "future employer" is quite right - I check out applicants' social media and will use their online persona as part of my sift. I don't imagine I'm alone in this sort of pre-shortlisting, either

I mentioned it earlier but I think others did too.
It’s surprising the amount of teens who aren’t aware that this sort of thing happens these days given the amount of influencers who have had to apologise for previous tweets/fb posts (Jeffree star, Manny MUA, Laura Lee have all had to make apology videos). Even if you don’t follow makeup/beauty influencers, there have been multiple people on programs such as Love Island, Big Brother etc have had to issue apologies for tweets/remarks they had made in their past (granted a lot of these are racist remarks). Just goes to show that everything you put out to the internet is captured and even if you delete it (in this case a video) it would have been copied across multiple sites without you even realising.

we all spent a little extra and got her something from a list she provided

My mind is boggling in more ways than one!

First she supplies a wish list - was this something that relatives asked for or was it her idea? If the former, then I think its not a bad idea - after all, you want to get her something she will actually like and guidance is useful. If it’s the latter, then this already spells trouble.

Then she has the gall to post a video on the web being rude about these presents, the ones she identified as things she would like?? How bloody rude!!

She has a huge amount to learn, not least how not to be a rude, entitled little madam.

Being 18 is not excuse for this outrageous behaviour. It wouldnt be a quiet word if she was in my family

Isn’t it rude to open all your gifts away from the givers? Weren’t her parents hurt by that?

@Goodlookingcreature I've been looking but can't see anything that looks obvious

FFS can posters please stop trying to dox this young woman? How grubby.

Hopefully OP has changed enough details to avoid identification.

Bluebill
I agree it is unbecoming of adults.