To not answer my front door and ignore any knocking?

[Bartyy]

I’m as anti social as you can get. I have to interact with people at work but when I’m at home I want to be left alone.

In the past I’ve rushed out of the shower to answer the door to someone who turned out to be selling double glazing. I’ve stopped mid bake and washed my hands etc to answer the door to someone pushing religion. I’ve cut short telephone calls to answer the door to someone pushing a political agenda. A few months ago I decided I will no longer answer the door unless I’m actually expecting someone. I’m sick of it. This is my home, my “space” and I want to be left alone!!

I now ignore all knocks unless I’m expecting someone, including ignoring the parcel man wanting to take shit in for next door. I’m sick of that too, he should arrange delivery for when he’s actually home.

Recently a little lad has been asking to come around and play with my dogs. At first him mum used to text me first but now he just turns up so I’ve started ignoring him too. It’s tea time, DH has just got in from work and the dogs are settled. I don’t want to be disturbed and answering the door, even to tell him no sets the dogs off and disturbs my dinner.

AIBU?

@missmouse101. NOBODY asked anything about ons until you plopped it on the thread completely unbidden and even Rosa's first question to you was

"what fresh hell is this?!"

Hardly indicates the ons are welcome!!

Her second question was asking how to STOP ons calling.

AGAIN shows ONS NOT WELCOME!

And even in answering her you pleaded with her NOT to refuse the ONS.

THEN you basically accused Serenoa of lying!!

How does any of that make you think you didn't hijack?

I always answer the door. It wouldn't occur to me not to. The package delivery service around here doesn't leave packages at neighbors, I don't get cold callers and the Jehovah's Witnesses have never come by. If someone is knocking at my door, there's generally a very good reason. I know the neighbors to talk to, but none of us have exchanged telephone numbers. If there is a problem or issue, they just knock.
Apparently I should be eternally grateful that I wasn't living in a neighborhood of never-answerers a few winters ago when my pipes froze solid and the town needed to get into a neighbor's house to run a current to get them working again.

I live alone, so if a stranger comes at night (hasn't happened yet, but you never know), I will still answer the door. Might shout through it though, rather than open it.

Yanbu. My Mum did this all the time. Never answered the door after dark etc. It's the way forward. At one time we had a stack of religious magazines. This was before she did this and regular visitor delivering them she could say no to (a lovely older lady).
We moved house and decided to stop answering unless she was expecting someone x

I don't answer my door or my phone unless I am expecting the knock call. My front door is the barrier that divides me from the stress out there, my sanctuary!

@MissMouse

You might be one of those ONS people who take the outfit's statutory responsibilities seriously, and treat people with respect. On the other hand, you might not. Your response to me gives me a view on that, it's the same as my previous personal experience with the fuckers .

What I described to you is a brief outline, what they actually did to me was much more extensive. The Office for National Statistics subjected me, an elderly severely disabled person, to a reign of terror carried out by email, by letter and in person. It was their behaviour that convinced me that ignoring knocking at the door when I wasn't sure who it was, is the right way to go.

The last contact I had with them in their serial offence was a letter pushed through my letterbox by a young lady, who ran away in a manner that suggested she was terrified. She could hardly have been afraid of an elderly lady at that time confined to a wheelchair, which the ONS knew, so I assume it was her employer she was afraid of. This was after me telling the ONS in email and letter, seven times, that they should stop contacting me.

The harassment was only stopped by my threatening to publicise their behaviour - the behaviour of cowards and those who know they're doing wrong.

I was astonished when after I moved over 100 miles away, after a gap in time of several years, to receive yet another letter from the ONS that they wanted to interview me. This was mid-2017.

I wrote to them telling them to stop, and listing all the dates of the emails, names where I had them, attempted visits and letters. This provoked an abject apology and an assurance that they did not indulge in such actions, that it was 'rogue' behaviour, and that if I wished them not to contact me, they would honour that. I haven't heard from them since. Office for National Statistics 0 - Citizen 1.

We citizens need to know what our rights are and respond appropriately.Those fuckers got off lightly, I won't be so nice if it happens again.

Get a ring doorbell so you can see who it is without answering.

I don't answer my door or my phone unless I am expecting the knock call. My front door is the barrier that divides me from the stress out there, my sanctuary!

^^
This.

Serenoa - very well said!

👏👏👏👏

Graphista - thank you.

Dandelion - I do have a video doorbell here; it didn't occur to me to even think of it when I lived in Sleepy Hollow previously.

I answer half the time. Mostly because I have elderly neighbours who like to torment and stalk the delivery drivers and grab any package the moment it lands in my porch in case it gets stolen. Like, even when it was massive boxes full of dog food I was deliberately leaving outside because it was too heavy to drag in... so if I don't answer to the delivery guy they will knock so loudly I think SWAT are hammering the door down.

I hate it. I even hate people I want to see knocking on the door. There will never be a time when I will want to see someone at my front door. I wish houses didn't have doors.

I can't believe that because I answer my door when someone knocks that I'm being accused of having an empty life! Unbelievable.

Only on Mumsnet! 😂

Well i am bloody glad my parents didn't have a rule about not answering the door to unexpected knocks when I was a child, and that my mum did actually answer when a neighbour knocked in the middle of the night to tell us the roof was on fire.

Reading about people ignoring knocks at the door makes me anxious - fair enough if you can see from a window that it's someone with a parcel or JW's brandishing a copy of the Watchtower, but if you can't see how do you know they are not knocking to tell you about an emergency /something urgent?

It's very sad that so many people regard their front door as a barrier between them and 'out there' (presumably either because they live in a dangerous or unfriendly place or because they have anxiety issues).

I've lived in London (various areas) and villages (now fairly rural) and have never felt this. It seems we are moving ever further towards a lack of community and a desire to only interact online with anyone outside our immediate family.

I ignore the front door. I look out to see if it's someone worth opening for - delivery, neighbour, window cleaner - but if not, then no. I had a guy hammer my front door and shouting a few years ago when I was home alone and it scared the shit out of me. (Turned out he had the wrong house and was looking for someone who stole something from him?!) Ever since then, I've been wary of anyone at my door.

I have a similarly named street nearby to mine (ie I live on Smith Road, the road behind is Smith Close) and the amount of delivery people who cannot read and come to my door, 1 Smith Road when they want 1 Smith Close is astonishing. So I have to answer it to send them to the right place.

Next month is the fresh hell that is Halloween. Last year on Oct 31st I was 8.5months pregnant, knackered and miserable, just returned home from a long day at work and was having a nice lie down and had people knocking on my door around 10 times in the space of an hour. I didn’t answer but it was really intrusive and annoying just the same. We know no families or children nearby, and we don’t decorate our house for Halloween so there was no excuse for knocking.
This year I’ll be putting a “don’t knock - baby sleeping” sign on my door.

There has been more than one case where I live (not UK) of men raping women in their homes after knocking on their door.

So I never answer if I'm not expecting anyone.

I thought the post about the door as barrier to the outside world was really lovely. Home is where the heart is and all that. Soothing.

Batman Yes, I spend Halloween night with my elderly parents - although it's parent singular now - because of worries about what might happen. My late father was a door answerer as well!! Mad.

the worst so far is eggs when they wouldn't answer the door but it was very distressing. Then when I got back to my flat the next day, my ground floor neighbour had the same!

Completely agree! Unless I'm expecting somebody or a delivery I never answer my door!

Tbh I don't know why people are so adamant about never answering the door.

If I am not expecting someone then whether I open the door is purely dependent on if it is convenient/practical.

In the shower? I'm not answering the door because by the time I get out,grab a towel and get to the door they're more than likely gone

Watching TV or pottering around doing housework? I'll answer the door just to see who it is.

I think not answering a knock on your door is weird. To those who do this, I ask, have you never had an emergency where help from your neighbour would really really get them out of a hole?

I agree. If I'm busy, I'll lean out of the front window and see who it is. But otherwise, if I'm downstairs, I'll answer it. It never occurs to me not to answer it. It might be the Postcode Lottery with a huge cheque!

I have stopped answering the door. The main culprits are the meter readers - I always ring up any way with a reading. I assume they are paid by meters they read.

One time I was upstairs with my sick grandson and he must have hammered (and I mean hammered) on my door three times - it was the wrong house. When I asked him to please stop knocking, he gave me a stream of abuse. The worst thing is he keeps coming back and I find him really intimidating. If I don't answer the door, he rings me and tells me he is waiting outside. Sometimes he walks round my house shouting. I am not hiding anything, I just don't want a man like him in my house when I am here alone. Is this normal? God, I hope not.

Other than that its just taking in my neighbours' parcels and it is because the delivery men are lazy, my ndn is always in and she complains they don't even bother to knock half the time.

You are right op, I think it is very british to answer the door out of some misplaced duty or good manners. Just go away.

You can buy signs for your door that say 'Baby sleeping, do not knock'. Got mine from Amazon

Can you get one that says "Anti-social fucker, do not knock"?

That's what I need.

DP answers the door, on the basis that it might be about something important. It never is.

To those who do this, I ask, have you never had an emergency where help from your neighbour would really really get them out of a hole?

My nice neighbour knows I don't answer my door, and has my mobile number, so she would ring me.

If it's the noisy, inconsiderate buggers the other side, they can stay in that hole!

None of you are anti-social. You're unsociable perhaps. Unless I've misunderstood and you're throwing buckets of piss at unwanted callers.

It's tempting, I admit, but the dog would almost certainly knock over the bucket of piss before we got a chance to use it.