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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer my front door and ignore any knocking?

183 replies

Bartyy · 10/09/2019 19:24

I’m as anti social as you can get. I have to interact with people at work but when I’m at home I want to be left alone.

In the past I’ve rushed out of the shower to answer the door to someone who turned out to be selling double glazing. I’ve stopped mid bake and washed my hands etc to answer the door to someone pushing religion. I’ve cut short telephone calls to answer the door to someone pushing a political agenda. A few months ago I decided I will no longer answer the door unless I’m actually expecting someone. I’m sick of it. This is my home, my “space” and I want to be left alone!!

I now ignore all knocks unless I’m expecting someone, including ignoring the parcel man wanting to take shit in for next door. I’m sick of that too, he should arrange delivery for when he’s actually home.

Recently a little lad has been asking to come around and play with my dogs. At first him mum used to text me first but now he just turns up so I’ve started ignoring him too. It’s tea time, DH has just got in from work and the dogs are settled. I don’t want to be disturbed and answering the door, even to tell him no sets the dogs off and disturbs my dinner.

AIBU?

OP posts:
RubaDubMum89 · 10/09/2019 22:21

YANBU

I'm the same OP. Anyone who knows me knows we don't use the front door but the kitchen door. Knocking the front means you'll be ignored. Even the local postman / delivery man knows now!

RosaWaiting · 10/09/2019 22:31

Suzie, the local Kingdom Hall should take you off the list for JWs.

FeeFee832 · 10/09/2019 22:38

YADNBU!!!

FeeFee832 · 10/09/2019 22:39

Ps. Get a ring doorbell. It's awesome. You can see who is pestering you on your phone as you hide and wait for them to disappear. We have one - life changing.

AlphaJura · 10/09/2019 22:39

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I will for parcels if I'm expecting something though. My door has a big window with a voile curtain on the inside, so I can usually see who it is. I had a couple of 'friends' who kept turning up at the most awkward of times expecting to be entertained and the last time it really distressed me, I was busy changing my baby's dirty nappy and had loads of things to do. I just ignored them but first ran round and shut the back door (it was summer) because they had been known to walk round the back and come in before! Once they turned up round the back when I was cooking tea, and another time they strolled round when we were in the garden! Think they've stopped speaking to me now. Thankfully. Most people who know me well, know to let me know first. Yanbu

Megan2018 · 10/09/2019 22:42

We have big electric gates that you can’t see through with a ring doorbell, I let people in when it suits and ignore when it doesn't.
You are not obliged to answer!

Spacerader · 10/09/2019 22:42

I don’t like people all that much. If I’m alone I won’t answer the door if I don’t know who it is. Unexpected visitors give me rage.
No chance with dp is around he always answers and finds it odd I wouldn’t answer.

Whatdayisit2 · 10/09/2019 22:46

Get a video doorbell and ask the little lad to text first, he will be sad to miss out

RosaWaiting · 10/09/2019 23:00

I don’t understand why OP should be bothered about the random little boy!

MoonageDaydreamz · 10/09/2019 23:02

No, Yanbu. I don't anymore either, but it's easier for me as delivery drivers have to come down a little lane to deliver so I can tell who is a deliverer and who is a pest (pests being chuggers, salespeople, religious people and political canvassers).

I would love to have a video door bell and even more some electronic gates. One day maybe we will.

Biggie123 · 10/09/2019 23:05

I personally think it’s crazy that people just open their doors to strangers without checking first who the person is.

YesQueen · 10/09/2019 23:12

Most people answer in my street luckily
I've answered the door to find my handbrake on my car failed and rolled into a neighbours, next door needed antihistamines and knows I have the type she needed, a neighbour with dementia late one night had managed to unlock the doors and go wandering and knock on my door
I ran to my neighbours when a firework exploded in my living room because in that minute I couldn't think what else to do. They answered, checked the place wasn't on fire, rang the police, let me borrow an air purifier etc etc

emojisarentwords · 10/09/2019 23:32

I'm with the 'real life-ers' brigade here sorry. Only on mumsnet can you find people too busy and important to answer a knock on the door. I will normally look out of the window and if it's not someone I recognise I ignore unless DH is home, and if it is someone I recognise I will let them in

RosaWaiting · 10/09/2019 23:36

“Only on mumsnet can you find people too busy and important to answer a knock on the door.”

None of us have said we’re busy or important. And you say you ignore till dh is home. I live alone.

leomama81 · 10/09/2019 23:39

Eh emoji? You've just said you do the same thing then. No one is saying they are too busy or important, they are saying they don't want to spend half an hour trying to get rid of a Jehovah's Witness or persistent chugger. As you don't either, apparently, seeing as you say you check and ignore them if you don't recognize them.

I had three charity collectors and one JW knock in the first hour and a half after getting home from a really hideous day the other week, I am currently 7 months pregnant and exhausted and it is a struggle to even get up at this point. I am SO getting a ring doorbell now and feel much more justified in not answering the door! 😂

jennymanara · 10/09/2019 23:44

MN are strange. Just put up a no cold callers card.
B the way delivery companies do not always deliver when you have arranged the delivery for.

Loyaultemelie · 11/09/2019 10:17

@RosaWaiting I do exactly the same as your Mum even if they knock the patio door

HennyPennyHorror · 11/09/2019 10:22

I try to answer mine...I used to be like you but moved to a fairly rural town. Now when people knock it's with good reason.

Yesterday a very elderly man wanted to know where the cemetery was...he couldn't see anyone on the street so knocked. Fine...glad to help.

Another time, a man knocked because he'd seen a brown snake slithering near my fence...we're in Australia. Very kind of him...called the snake catcher out and he found a nest.

Yet another time it was a local artist asking if she could paint our house. Wanted to sit outside on her chair and might be a long time...did we mind?

Imagine if I'd ignored all those people.

Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 10:24

YANBU, I have applied this rule for years.

I have still been burned by chuggers wearing red polo shirts so through the frosted glass I thought it was the postie... I try to only answer to couriers/postie where possible. Door to door salesmen and chuggers are the worst.

Hidingtonothing · 11/09/2019 10:34

I don't answer but am aware I'm an extreme case, have only just managed to stop hitting the deck in a curled up ball (ptsd from an aggravated burglary) so just choosing to ignore a knock is massive progress for me Smile

RosaWaiting · 11/09/2019 10:40

Loyaul is there a way to prevent access to the patio door, guessing that’s the back of the house?

I think most of these things should be banned. I see a pp mentioned living in a village where it was banned, that’s great.

Skyejuly · 11/09/2019 10:52

I always ignore it!

KUGA · 11/09/2019 11:18

YANBU.
I hate cold callers.i look out of the kitchen window to see who it is.
I have net curtains up so they cant see me. I also hate with held numbers on my mobile so I never answer them either. If its important they will leave a message.

Gingerivy · 11/09/2019 11:21

I live in a small block of flats. We had a horrible couple that lived upstairs that used to scream and shout at people, including us, for quite literally no reason at all (or none that we could figure out other than they were very unpleasant). They had friends coming at all times, and none of the friends would accept defeat if they didn't answer their doorbell, the friends would then ring our doorbell and ask to be let in so they could go up and knock on the couple's door. Nope, sorry, not happening. Often one of the couple would go out without their keys and then be ringing the doorbell and banging on the front door of the property (right by our flat) and shouting through the post box for the other half of the couple to answer the door. When that didn't work, they'd ring my doorbell, demanding to be let in (or knock on my window near the door). The first two times this happened, I let them in (as I recognised them as a tenant). After that, I ignored it - it took a long time before they seemed to realise I wasn't going to do it anymore. These particular neighbours also complained to our landlord that I didn't go out and answer when salespeople came to the building, so that the salespeople then moved on and rang their doorbell. I pointed out to the landlord that it wasn't my responsibility to screen salespeople out for the other tenants, and the landlord agreed. Very glad this couple recently moved. Hmm

I don't answer the door unless 1- I know the person at the door, or 2- I'm expecting the person at the door (by appointment or arrangement). Anyone else, I generally ignore it. I have a window by the door, so I look out and see who it is before I go to the main door.

I am not obligated to answer my door just because someone knocks or rings the bell.

Bbang · 11/09/2019 11:32

I have glass in my back door that you can clearly see through, I throughly enjoy having a good nosey through it to see who’s knocking then proceed to walk away and ignore them 😂

Im a Scrooge that hates hosting and visitors though lol