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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer my front door and ignore any knocking?

183 replies

Bartyy · 10/09/2019 19:24

I’m as anti social as you can get. I have to interact with people at work but when I’m at home I want to be left alone.

In the past I’ve rushed out of the shower to answer the door to someone who turned out to be selling double glazing. I’ve stopped mid bake and washed my hands etc to answer the door to someone pushing religion. I’ve cut short telephone calls to answer the door to someone pushing a political agenda. A few months ago I decided I will no longer answer the door unless I’m actually expecting someone. I’m sick of it. This is my home, my “space” and I want to be left alone!!

I now ignore all knocks unless I’m expecting someone, including ignoring the parcel man wanting to take shit in for next door. I’m sick of that too, he should arrange delivery for when he’s actually home.

Recently a little lad has been asking to come around and play with my dogs. At first him mum used to text me first but now he just turns up so I’ve started ignoring him too. It’s tea time, DH has just got in from work and the dogs are settled. I don’t want to be disturbed and answering the door, even to tell him no sets the dogs off and disturbs my dinner.

AIBU?

OP posts:
A88ie1 · 11/09/2019 11:38

Nah unless I get busted or expecting someone then I take no notice and cant be assed to deal with whoever :D Probably a pest anyways.

LondonJax · 11/09/2019 11:40

I check the 'peep hole' and if I can't be arsed I don't answer. That's what the 'peep hole' is for. YANBU.

bombomboobah · 11/09/2019 12:22

those with whom I wish to communicate will already have my contact details, therefore anyone who just rocks up and knocks on my door is a random person, I refuse to be summoned by random people.

missmouse101 · 11/09/2019 12:40

@RosaWaiting, yes there are full contact details on the ONS advance letter and you could contact them to refuse. Hopefully you wouldn't though, as your participation is really important for accurate statistics and therefore the good of your local community.

RosaWaiting · 11/09/2019 13:00

@missmouse101

I will definitely contact to refuse. I wonder how they make these decisions.

@A88ie1 I guess....best wishes in not getting busted? 😂

Lumene · 11/09/2019 13:01

YANBU

UnfamousPoster · 11/09/2019 13:16

Haven't RTFT yet so someone else has probably mentioned them already but we've got a "no doorstep selling" sticker on our front window which does work. Our local council does them for free.

At least that way I know a knock is just from a neighbour asking to borrow something or from a political or religious organisation (we seem to be on the black list for a few of the religious ones now - they always avoid our house and knock on other people's - don't know what DP said to them one day but they've never been back!!). All of this is thankfully very rare as I can't stand unexpected visitors! I would never turn up at someone else's house unannounced or unchecked.

I'd text the kid's mum and say that as nice as it is that they DC wants to play with your dog, week days are not good for you and it might be easier going back to the texting beforehand so as to avoid disappointing him.

missmouse101 · 11/09/2019 13:18

@ Rosa, it's completely randomised selection, to reflect the population as a whole.

femidom12 · 11/09/2019 13:22

No one knocks on our door now after the last time I answered it in a 'Scream' mask and a long curved knife......weird.

RosaWaiting · 11/09/2019 13:23

@missmouse101

Do you mind if I ask a question..I’m probably being really thick. If it’s random, then how can it reflect the population? The selection might be 80% people between 25 and 30 for example.

fantasmasgoria1 · 11/09/2019 13:33

I don't answer the door unless it's a parcel or person I am expecting. I have a mental illness of which anxiety is a facet of and my anxiety levels soar so I simply ignore the door. I also don't answer the phone unless it's someone in my contacts or the doctors. Actually speaking on the phone makes me anxious even when it's someone I know! I'm not overly antisocial, i have conversations with people because I'm OK with face to face but occasionally I have been guilty of pretending I'm on the phone or turn down another street if I see someone I know and really don't want to talk.

ReanimatedSGB · 11/09/2019 13:44

I think the people who always answer the door are people who either have very empty lives, or people who live somewhere with a relatively low proportion of nuisance callers. Some areas have an almost constant stream of salespeople, godbotherers, researchers, political canvassers and the rest - or one or more intrusive friends/relatives.
I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone, either. It's always pests.

IScreamForIceCreams · 11/09/2019 13:45

We can see people walking past the house to the front door (well, we can see them, they can't see us). When it's kids knocking on the door for a playdate, of course we answer the door, or if it's someone we know. Cold callers....however...nah. This morning a teenager was knocking on doors asking for cigarettes as she'd forgotten hers! Cheek of it. I'm probably slammed the door a bit too loud, but I was mid-breakfast.

CatNinja · 11/09/2019 13:46

After answering the door to sales people one too many times when my kids were young and I was too busy to check first, I started looking through the window first and unless it was something like a delivery, I just didn't answer. One time a double glazing sales-person looked in the window at me and the kids happily sitting reading on the sofa as I blatantly ignored his knocks at the door. It is my home, I do not feel obliged to open the door to anyone. Especially as most sales people will not take a polite 'no thank you' and you need to be almost rude to get rid of them, I feel just not opening the door is pleasanter all round!

Zakana · 11/09/2019 13:47

Anti social non door opener here too! Only ever open the door when I know who it is and all our delivery men know to pop parcels in our porch, I leave that open. I hate unexpected visitors with a vengeance!

heveranne · 11/09/2019 14:03

I can't believe that because I answer my door when someone knocks that I'm being accused of having an empty life! Unbelievable.

ThirstyGhost · 11/09/2019 14:14

YANBU. I have a no cold callers sign which usually works (the one I have lists them, so "no religious groups" etc...). Still get them sometimes. One the other day said, "oh I just saw your sign, but it'll only take a few minutes..." um... NO (Jehovahs Witnesses). I take in parcels for neighbours though. Like ReanimateSGB says though, it's NEVER anything other than a pest when I do answer it. It's not to do with busy lives or empty lives though - it's your own home so do what you are happy with. I used to work night shifts and recommend the night shift worker do not disturb signs you can get by the way. I found that parcel delivery people were v. respectful of those with parcels for neighbours etc.. when I was working nights.

AmIThough · 11/09/2019 14:18

Did you post recently about the neighbours son upsetting the dog?

Get a ring doorbell so you can see who's at the door from your phone

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 11/09/2019 14:27

Twice TWICE I've had to cut a shower short for Jehovah witnesses. My daughter answered the door on both occasions and told them I'm in the shower and they stand waiting!

Daughter has been told not to answer the door to strangers!

MulticolourMophead · 11/09/2019 15:03

And half the time I'll answer the door and it's my partner's ex coming to see his son unplanned (not the child's mother) and then she just walks in and settles down on the sofa.. meaning I have to socialise whether I want to or not.

If this isn't the child's mother, then just say it's not convenient and stop her coming. Even a non resident parent can't just walk in anytime they like. Your partner needs to be firmer on this.

Meanwhile, I check out the window to decide if I want to answer the door or not. Luckily, my street is fairly calm and quiet, and 95% of people at the door are family and friends I like to see.

Gingerivy · 11/09/2019 15:52

I have a no cold callers sign which usually works (the one I have lists them, so "no religious groups" etc...). Still get them sometimes. One the other day said, "oh I just saw your sign, but it'll only take a few minutes..." um... NO (Jehovahs Witnesses).

Yep. And I've had a few that smirk when I pointed out the sign and said "Sorry, I can't read."

adaline · 11/09/2019 16:01

We had the ONS come over last year - they didn't write first. We had someone turn up on our doorstep wanting to book us an appointment. He spoke to DH and he was incredibly pushy and reluctant to take no for an answer. He practically forced an appointment on us for the following week.

Next time we won't be quite so polite!

DementorsKiss · 11/09/2019 16:03

get a Ring doorbell - awesome thing for the unsociable

msmith501 · 11/09/2019 16:17

I work at a home a bit and the number of times I've rushed downstairs only to take in a parcel for a neighbour six doors down.... my partner ignores all religious callers and just watches them stare at us through the front window - the reasoning being that we can choose to answer the door knocking or not. I agree fully. Bloody nuisance. One of our neighbours has admitted ordering things for a daytime delivery as they know I am in. Bloody cheek.

Bouffalant · 11/09/2019 16:26

It's all Jehovahs or Hermes wanting to leave a parcel for 11 houses away.

I look out of the window and mostly don't answer.