Aibu to deny all knowledge of vibrator?!

[Tedtalk]

So, here's the story!
Moved house 12 months ago and made friends with neighbour. We have coffee once a week but don't go out socially together. chat about everyday things and mainly household things, but nothing too deep.

I had my DS 12 weeks ago and she's been a great help. Last week she brought me round a bag of clothes from her own Ds - all in a big black bag and she told me to throw out anything I didn't want- said she hadn't been through the bag since packing it away when he outgrew the clothes and said, just give them all a wash and keep what you want. No problem so far..

Until I emptied the bag and amongst the piles of clothes there were 2 vibrators

No boxes or bags, just there in amongst the clothes...

Now, I'm not bothered about the vibrations per se... I just have no idea what to do now. My DH says I should just give them back, bold as brass but I'm in the camp of throwing out and pretending I never saw them (and hope that she never realises what's happened and never asks about them!!!) I don't feel that close to her to bring this up!!!

Advice??

Store them safely and wait for her to ask for you to housesit/dog sit/wait in for a parcel... then hide them somewhere random in her house

So, here's the story

Is anyone else disappointed that this didn't turn into a Fresh Prince vibro remix? If I wasn't so ill I'd re-write it myself...

^

Just leave the sex toys on top of your wheelie bin, and she might see them.and go out late night to get them.. or else the bin men may like them, !

Turn the vibrater on and put back in the bag, hand her the bag back and tell her something is buzzing inside and it certainly isn't you lol!

@QueefLatifah 😂😂😂😂

If only Multi-Coloured Swap-Shop was still going.

@SnorkMaiden81

Return them to her!!!!!
I don't own a vibrator which is worth less than £70 and I'd offer a healthy reward for it's safe return, I tell you.

Considering the subject, you may want to rephrase that. 😮

@1forAll74 The bin men would attach them to the front of the truck like they do teddy bears.

Please stop saying she clearly hasn't missed them, they've been put somewhere that clearly doesn't match the rest of the contents. I bet she's been going mad trying to figure out what she's done with them in her sleep deprived state. Probably still thinks about it because when are they going to turn up, who will find them?

If you get on well what’s the problem? They’re just vibrators. Say thanks for the clothes and that she’d left them in the bag.

You need to do nothing for the moment. Let time pass. Then when you are no longer in the picture as someone who’s recently received goods you need to find a way to smuggle the vibrators back into her house and put them somewhere she’ll find them in time and think she put them there herself.

One day she will be looking for those and the realisation will hit her like a truck 😂

I wouldn't say a word! If you give them back she may be so embarrassed it kills your friendship dead!

Man she is gonna be blushing if she ever works out where they've gone. If this thread is true. I mean who the hell puts vibrators in with a bag of baby clothes?

Hmm what if yr neighbours are swingers and they are hoping you get the message?

Your all adults at the end of the day she's more than likely made a mistake . These aren't cheap no big fuss put them in a bag and give them back to her
Knock on door "can't stop running late "and just say you left these in by mistake .
BTW hilarious

Dont smuggle them back. I bet she realised after she gave you the bag, wrap them off and give them back, she can decide to bin them or not.
No embarrassment needed most women have one plus they are expensive.

It all depends on how you think she's going to react. If you're not very close and as you say she's reserved, you're going to embarrass her unnecessarily. So if you're not certain that she's the type to laugh this off, just bin them.
I think there's also the small chance she may have put them deliberately, people can be weird sometimes.

"leave them peeping out the fruitbowl"

A stunt vibrator!

(Not to be confused with the MN stunt pineapple. Ouch).

Please please please go around and sneakily leave them somewhere obvious! I'm hoping she's a mumsnetter and we'll get a spooky thread about the mysteriously reappearing vibrator!

Full on laughing out loud on a packed commuter train at this thread 🤣🤣🤣

To those who have accidentally left them out and tradesman have found them EVERYONE knows btw - DH is a tradesman and often goes into peoples houses, his favourite story is the time he had to move a piece of furniture that was in his way and found a massive 14" cock under it.

They left it in the middle of the bed for her to find

and for the love of god don't just leave them in her house - her DP may not know she has them!!!!

I'm also hoping she's a Mumsnetter, sees this thread and that you both end up with a lifelong friendship forged from this story

They might be homing vibrators. Set them off and hopefully they’ll vibrate their way down the road back to her place.

This is hilarious. I’d probably just put them in a bag and give them back to her ‘thanks for the clothes, much appreciated, you left these in the bag’. you’re both adults, and she might have a good chuckle.

Ensure you dispose of in accordance with WEE regulations