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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to deny all knowledge of vibrator?!

149 replies

Tedtalk · 10/09/2019 17:31

So, here's the story!
Moved house 12 months ago and made friends with neighbour. We have coffee once a week but don't go out socially together. chat about everyday things and mainly household things, but nothing too deep.

I had my DS 12 weeks ago and she's been a great help. Last week she brought me round a bag of clothes from her own Ds - all in a big black bag and she told me to throw out anything I didn't want- said she hadn't been through the bag since packing it away when he outgrew the clothes and said, just give them all a wash and keep what you want. No problem so far..

Until I emptied the bag and amongst the piles of clothes there were 2 vibrators Shock

No boxes or bags, just there in amongst the clothes...

Now, I'm not bothered about the vibrations per se... I just have no idea what to do now. My DH says I should just give them back, bold as brass but I'm in the camp of throwing out and pretending I never saw them (and hope that she never realises what's happened and never asks about them!!!) I don't feel that close to her to bring this up!!!

Advice??

OP posts:
CalamityJune · 10/09/2019 17:48

Oh bless her!

Definitely do not say anything and just get rid. Let the woman live in blissful ignorance.

walkintheparc · 10/09/2019 17:53

Agree with others, be an adult and say 'thanks so much for the clothes, wasn't sure if you realised there were a few vibrators in there, was that intentional? I know they can be expensive so if it was a mistake you should have them back!'

CalamityJune · 10/09/2019 17:55

I'm surprised so many would give her them back. It's the sort of thing that would wake me in the middle of the night dying of embarrassment for years to come if I was her.

She may well be the sort to laugh it off but on the off chance, I really don't think it's kind.

catzrulz · 10/09/2019 17:57

How old is her DS? Has he just outgrown the clothes, or have the been stored for a couple of years?
If it's the latter, she's not missing them 😀

MapMyMum · 10/09/2019 17:57

Could you anonymously leave them on her doorstep or something. Not really for your embarrassment, but for hers!

bellalou1234 · 10/09/2019 17:58

I once left mine on my unmade bed once and the window cleaner came. Couldnt look him in eye ever! They always looked at me with a smirk.

MountPheasant · 10/09/2019 17:58

Depends on the friendship and your personality really. I’m quite open so I would send her a picture and say ‘missing anything?’

I once accidentally donated some vibrations to charity! I was mainly just embarrassed they would think I was grim enough to think they could be re sold!

Hederex · 10/09/2019 18:00

I have some friends (most) where I'd hand them back with a grin, and some where I'd chuck them and never say a word.
It sounds like she may fall into the second camp.

pooopypants · 10/09/2019 18:03

Would she be mortified or just have a good old laugh about it?

Most of my friends would get the piss ripped out of them, laugh over it and move on

Depends on the person

But.... you win the AIBU board trophy today!

Original poster
Tedtalk · 10/09/2019 18:06

So, I'm quite open with most of my friends, but she is very reserved!!!

I am cringing at the thought of her maybe realising where she left them...then realising I have/had them!! Blush

Her DS is just a year old next week, so been there a while....

I have no concerns about washing the clothes Wink they're lovely and I'll be using them ..:the clothes that is!

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 10/09/2019 18:09

You need to go round for a coffee and surreptitiously place the contraband somewhere she’ll find. Ideally a bedroom drawer or something if you can distract her for long enough.

stucknoue · 10/09/2019 18:13

If you are likely to pop into her house I would drop them back into her house in a bag.

Sweetaholic · 10/09/2019 18:15

Just give them back and break the ice by asking if they are any good.
You are both adults after all.

Andylion · 10/09/2019 18:15

Definitely do not say anything and just get rid. Let the woman live in blissful ignorance.

But when she eventually goes looking for them again, she'll go crazy wondering what the hell happened to them.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 10/09/2019 18:19

If they've been in the bag for a while she's probably already gone through the crazy searching, and has resigned herself to the fact that she's somehow lost them forever.

Treaclebee · 10/09/2019 18:20

I got given a massive huge one once as a joke at a hen night. Way too big to actually use. Threw it in a draw and forgot about it.

Couple of years later was moving house and had a broken leg, so very kind landlord said they would help by packing the last of my things into a box, so that I could get someone to collect it for me.

On unpacking the box in my new home I found the mahoosive dong neatly and carefully wrapped in tissue paper. Lord knows what she thought. Blush Grin

Maybe your neightbour didn't actually use them, so put them away to be thrown out?

mumderland · 10/09/2019 18:21

If she hasn't been through the bag in months then they're obviously not used much. I'd just chuck them and wash the clothes

MitziK · 10/09/2019 18:24

Funniest vibrato story I have was when DP was summonsed to stay at his ex's flat overnight. Without notice, her 'night out with a girlfriend, back by 11.30' became a week away with a new boyfriend.

Obviously incredibly inconsiderate and inconvenient because he had to call in sick at work, rather than say 'my child's has disappeared on a week long shagathon and I've been left to care for her', but the remote controls were all missing batteries and he couldn't get anything to work.

I didn't think it would be right to actively visit her home whilst she was away, but offered to post some replacements through the door on my way home from work, as DC was in Peppa Pig withdrawal by day 3, none of DC's toys were working and he'd already run out of money topping up the key meters, which were all in emergency/debt to pay and buying food.

His answer was 'don't worry, I've sorted it.'

He'd gone to look to see whether there were any batteries in her bedroom (as obviously, you keep such things safely away from small children) and found her stash. He went around the flat, carefully putting batteries in every remote, clock and toy that needed them - and left her without a single working 'toy' of her own.

'Well', he said after she returned, 'it's not as if she's going to need them much after the week she's just had'.

When he got paid, he dropped off three bulk packs of Duracells from the poundshop. And escaped having them shoved up his arse....

MitziK · 10/09/2019 18:25

Vibrato? Vibrator.

How MC an autocorrect can you get?

DeNiroDeFaro · 10/09/2019 18:27

AfterSchoolWorry

Hate to break it to you but fanny juice might be least of your worries. People can have all sorts of fun with vibrators...

InsertFunnyUsername · 10/09/2019 18:27

Ooooooh I'm not sure what I would do. But I know if I lost two vibrators I would be losing my mind figuring out where I left them. Please not at my grans so I think I would rather a cheeky you left this in the bag and end of discussion.

barryfromclareisfit · 10/09/2019 18:30

What make are they? My most expensive vibrator was £108. I wouldn’t thank anyone who thre it away.

barryfromclareisfit · 10/09/2019 18:30

Thre should be threw

Heartburn888 · 10/09/2019 18:36

So funny 😂😂😂

Depending on how close you are with her, id make a joke of it next time she’s round lol

BoringUserName00 · 10/09/2019 18:37

I'm guessing it's been her hiding place for them over the past year so her dp doesn't find them but she obviously forgot they were there when she gave you the bag.

If they are expensive, then maybe it would be better to give them back to her. Maybe she might not feel so embarrassed if you tell her you have one too

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