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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to deny all knowledge of vibrator?!

149 replies

Tedtalk · 10/09/2019 17:31

So, here's the story!
Moved house 12 months ago and made friends with neighbour. We have coffee once a week but don't go out socially together. chat about everyday things and mainly household things, but nothing too deep.

I had my DS 12 weeks ago and she's been a great help. Last week she brought me round a bag of clothes from her own Ds - all in a big black bag and she told me to throw out anything I didn't want- said she hadn't been through the bag since packing it away when he outgrew the clothes and said, just give them all a wash and keep what you want. No problem so far..

Until I emptied the bag and amongst the piles of clothes there were 2 vibrators Shock

No boxes or bags, just there in amongst the clothes...

Now, I'm not bothered about the vibrations per se... I just have no idea what to do now. My DH says I should just give them back, bold as brass but I'm in the camp of throwing out and pretending I never saw them (and hope that she never realises what's happened and never asks about them!!!) I don't feel that close to her to bring this up!!!

Advice??

OP posts:
jeffreeshart · 10/09/2019 23:11

They might not even be her vibrators

Shock the plot thickens....

dollydaydream114 · 10/09/2019 23:11

I'm laughing at the people on this thread who seem desperate to out-stealthboast each other with how much they have spent on vibrators. Nobody cares how much you spend on what you poke up your vag, you know.

Unless these vibrators you found in the bag of clothes are solid gold, just bin them and say nothing. They've been in the bag for a year already and she hasn't missed them and from what you've said about her, she'll be mortified if you bring the subject up.

GodDammitAmy · 10/09/2019 23:17

Perhaps they were a gift for you? Does she have pampas grass in her front garden OP?

QueefLatifah · 10/09/2019 23:18

Invite her round, make her a cuppa and casually stir her tea with one while chatting away.

Or leave them peeping out the fruitbowl.

QueefLatifah · 10/09/2019 23:19

Or text her and tell her you got such a fright due to the two dead rabbits in the bags..

ichifanny · 10/09/2019 23:21

This is gold op could be the start of a beautiful friendship when you bond over the horror of it all . Either that or she will move house .

SluggishSnail · 10/09/2019 23:22

Nobody cares how much you spend on what you poke up your vag, you know

I'm a bit interested, to be honest. I've owned a few but only know the price of one which was about £40. Suspect there's better options out there.

However, I've never poked a vibrator up my vag, that really isn't the point!

Or maybe it is, and I'm getting it all wrong Confused

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 10/09/2019 23:23

Oh Godddd I am actually crying with laughter at QueefLatifah’s tea stirring suggestion. Crying. Forget what I said earlier and do that

QueefLatifah · 10/09/2019 23:24

@sluggishsnail
Where in the buggery are you poking it then...

ichifanny · 10/09/2019 23:27

You don’t poke you vibrate .. A dildo is for poking

SluggishSnail · 10/09/2019 23:29

Queef
I'm not poking it anywhere, it's job on the (external) part that benefits the most.
I didn't mean up my bum, if that's what you thought :)

SluggishSnail · 10/09/2019 23:30

You don’t poke you vibrate .. A dildo is for poking
Well said. Anyway, decent vibrators generally aren't dick shaped

chunn65 · 10/09/2019 23:31

I'd give them back to her, she's the one going to be embarrassed. Be Kind and hand them back and walk away.You can laugh about it another day.

QueefLatifah · 10/09/2019 23:32

Pardon my lack of wank instrument knowledge @ichifanny , sounds like you know what your talking about.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 10/09/2019 23:35

It depends what’s worse. You telling her and she embarrassed and you feeling awkward because of this.

Or you don’t give them back and you are left wondering if she has realised you have them and now thinks you kept them for yourself.

I think the idea of number 2 would bother me more and you can always say “I just had to give them back I’d be gutted if I lost mine” or something.

BeepBeeeep · 10/09/2019 23:39

I would wrap them nicely with a fancy bow and everything and give her them back for Xmas.
The clothes I would just wash.

Phycadelicsilhouette · 10/09/2019 23:44

leave them peeping out the fruitbowl 🤣

IdblowJonSnow · 10/09/2019 23:52

I would keep schtum altho am a blabbermouth in these types of situations so actually probably wouldn't!

BigChocFrenzy · 11/09/2019 00:13

Does she have an umbrella rack in her hall ?

You could surreptitiously leave them on your next visit
She might not notice them for a while, so it might not be obvious that you left them
Depends how often they dust the hall ....

MikeyTheMouse · 11/09/2019 00:15

Wash the clothes and give them back to her. If you don’t act awkward about it she most likely won’t either

kateandme · 11/09/2019 00:46

if her child is almost a year this indicates she hasnt touched them then in nearly that long.therefore she obviously hasnt misssed them or has given up looking for them long ago having thought she just lost them somwhere.
so dont embarrass her with this.

Aprillygirl · 11/09/2019 00:52

It seems that your DS is the only person unfazed by this OP. Why don't you get him to pop them back round to her Grin

Derbee · 11/09/2019 01:33

Invite her round, make her a cuppa and casually stir her tea with one while chatting away

Or leave them peeping out the fruit bowl

😂😂

Derbee · 11/09/2019 01:34

Throw them away, don’t mention it. I’ve got an expensive one, and I’d rather my neighbour threw it away than handed it back to me face to face.

Cheaper to buy a new vibrator or two, than move house!

OrangeSwoosh · 11/09/2019 01:50

So, here's the story

Is anyone else disappointed that this didn't turn into a Fresh Prince vibro remix? If I wasn't so ill I'd re-write it myself....

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