to be shocked when i receive a letter/card addressed to MRS (DH'S NAME)?

[balancingact]

...this has happened to me twice! By this i mean it's addressed to Mrs Joe Bloggs, for example. These are both from friends - not ultra close ones, but good enough friends.
I keep thinking....what?!?! Haven't i gotten to the stage where i at least earned to be addressed by my own name? (i mean, i love hubby to bits, but even he thought it was a bit ridiculous!)

Daisythe dog I spent 2 years planning my wedding and went through a lot of grief at ne point with idiot family members trying to take over, we got what we wanted in the end so I think I desreve the title Mrs!!!!!

Also as I said I didn't like my maiden name so that may have something to do with it!

Don't get me wrong, I am not anti anyone else referring to themselves as Ms, (and if I know that that is how someone else wants to be addressed that is how I will address them) I just like to be a Mrs. I am sick and tired of the arguement that being a Mrs makes you the property of a man - does it bollocks!

My MIL send things to me alone as Mrs DH's-name Flyingmachine.

Interestingly, although she is old-fashioned, she will still put herself as Mrs hername Flyingmachine.

So she is clearly just making a point.

The chances of her addressing me as 'Dr' are vanishingly small...

Of course the whole purpose of etiquette is not to cause offence. It is about being polite and curteous.

So to my elderly (female) relatives I would always address the letter (if it was just to them) as Mrs John Smith. They look for it, and it makes them happy to see it, so I do it.

To my younger friends I would always do Mrs Jane Brown (except my cousin who I would do the former, as she does to me as it makes us laugh.)

If an elderly lady is widowed she should continue to be address as Mrs John Smith. If she is divorced she can (if she wishes) keep Smith, but would revert to her name ie. Mrs Jane Smith.

When writing to the Queen you should address the letter to Her Majesty The Queen.

You should begin the letter

Madam

With my humble duty.........

Letters to the Queen should end

I have the honour to be, Madam,
Your Majesty's most humble and obedient servant.

So there you are, just for future reference.

Well I'm glad that's all cleared up!

Of course if you are writing to the Queen, it is usual in the first instance to send the letter to The Private Seceretary to Her Majesty The Queen, asking him to submit your letter for Her Majestty's consideration.

I actually like being Mrs husbands name.
I don't like being Ms. I feel like shouting, "I'm married, you know, its Mrs, not Ms", even though I know it is done, incase the person isn't married.

Ms doesn't do it for me either

Oh, FFS

PARP

Love, Ms Wonk

Actually, PARP partially withdrawn - what the blazes do you mean by 'I don't want to be labelled a lesbian'? I

I think that possibly reveals more about your social circle than the use of the title 'Ms' generally...

Must admit its never crossed my mind to assume that ms indicates lesbian

The Wayne Kerr comment reminds me that the editor of the Dandy is called Euan Kerr.

My mother, when she writes to DW on her own (e.g. her birthday card) will always put my initial. It drives us both potty, especially as we have aksed her not to do it and she still does. She insists it's "correct" etiquette and so she will continue to do it. And my sister (who is only 52) has started doing it as well.

I understood that "Mrs Mary Smith" implied that she was a widow. Not sure about divorcees.

I'm not sure it's a typical cross section of Mses.

Or maybe it's my social circle that needs widening to include some bitter divorcees.

Or maybe not...

UQD your sister will be doing it because your ma has told her how annoying you find it

Cammelia! You don't know my family! Trust me, my sister and my mother don't have that sort of conversation... if anything, she'd do the opposite of what my mother recommended!

are you completely sure?

Women move in mysterious ways

oh yes, mum and sister are barely on speaking terms, has been so for years.

Sorry to hear that

I kept my maiden name upon marrying. Whilst I most like to be called Ms*[my first name][my surname], I don't at all mind being referred to formally as Mrs[DH's first name][DH's surname] and informally as Mrs[DH's surname]. However, I do object to being called Mrs[my first name][DH's surname] and always correct the mistake. As I have chosen not to mix our names, I don't see why anyone else should!

• I like Ms not Miss. I don't feel that my marital status is relevant for most day-to-day purposes.

I don't mean they don't talk or anything, but they have the bare minimum of communication. Will have to ask my sister when I see her (not that I do, much) why she does it!

Sister always just puts her name and her DH's on cards to us. That's all. No Love, no Best Wishes, no Have A Great Day or a silly comment. Is that weird?

One of my SIls does that UQD, the thing about just signing it. She is neither married nor has children (but is cohabiting)