What the hell do you do with kids after school?

[TheMessyCleaner]

Dd started school today and I have also changed my work hours from 3 long days to five short days so I can pick her up from school every day. I made that decision on a sunny afternoon when we both had the afternoon to spend in the park and a picnic. The reality has now hit me that I now have to work every fucking day and it's going to rain for seven fucking months straight.
I feel like my whole routine has gone up the spout. I also have DS (3) who now has to put up with being in childcare more (only a day as dp has one day off in the week.) When I asked my friends what they did they reeled off a long list of expensive after-school activities which will only be suitable for dd and not ds and also involve driving all over the city after I've just spent all day behind a desk.
Option B is that I take them home and let the m watch hours of Octonaughts before bed. In the summer it will be so much easier but right now I just feel I've made a huge mistake and should have just chosen a school with an afterschool club.
Help!

Mixture of after school clubs and activities. We have one afternoon/evening free a week.

I would've stayed on 3 days and put DC in after school club.

You dont have to do anything after school. No need for endless activities and expense.

YMCA offer external out of school clubs, it may be worth looking if they have a club near you. do you have local swimming baths near you? you could take both dc swimming after school, packed tea in the car and then home for bed. also, some soft plays offer after school sessions so may be worth looking around there also. arts and crafts are also great (kiddie chalk and black paper, crayons and wax paper, pom poms to stick to paper) because they take up time whilst you get tea ready. finally, (we have only done this a few times) but if it isnt raining, get the kids warm clothes on and go for a winter picnic/run around in the park. if you get those thermos that turn into a cup, they can have hot soup to keep them warm x

I work have stayed working 3 days and used after school club.

After school, mine collapse with biscuits in front of the telly

For the first year they didn't do any after school clubs as they were tired.

We'd get home around 3 and get changed, they would then play with toys, in the garden(yes even when dark- they love torches). Board games maybe, dinner, bath and bed.

Mine go to cubs/beavers once a week but that’s it really. Library once a month after school. If it’s a day I’m not working then by the time we get home it’s usually homework/spellings/reading then they have a bit of TV time while I cook dinner. Once we’ve eaten dinner it’s not long until bath and bedtime.

Come home, have snack, get changed, do homework, draw and play, food, bath and bed.

Sometimes swimming.

Arts & crafts, bake cakes together, play board games, watch telly together & cuddle, read books, go to the park, have a friend to play, go to a friend's house, go out for coffee, wander around a garden centre, go to the cinema.....some of the things we did when my children were little.

Is this the only alternatives? Presumably your daughter is in reception.
So after school, you can:

• go to the park if not raining to let off the steam;
• go home and play;
• arrange playdate;
• go food shopping (after park);
• go home and do some light housework and the children “help”; etc

It doesnt have to be just park or TV.

In reception, your daughter will be exhausted anyway so need for going left and right accross the city. She will go to bed earlier as well.

Don't sign up for loads of activities. Will be far too tiring.
Waterproof trousers and wellies and you can go out in all weathers.
Lots of games you can play indoors - build dens with blankets and pillows, read books in the den. Simple cooking, play doh, Duplo, etc.

Your kids are very little so I wouldn't be bothering too much with after school clubs. They are only small and starting school is exhausting. Perhaps swimming or rainbows or something one night a week.

Just treat it like a normal afternoon with your child. Maybe play a board game, do some crafts watch TV a bit or visit the library. Perhaps you could have a treat once a week where you go to a cafe for a milkshake or something?

You will have reading books and homework soon enough!!

Reception - he was exhausted and watched TV/played on ipad interspersed with playing with toys for first 2 terms. Second half of the year he had after school clubs (one drama, one sports) twice a week. Now he's in year one I will put him in after school clubs 2 or 3 times a week. But in reception they are completely knackered come 3.30 so I just let him decide what he needed to do to unwind. Up for bath at 6.15pm, asleep by 7.

We do a mixture of both! Ds(3) started at his older brothers (6) swim club today, then they both go to a Lego club (which is free) once a week. Oldest also plays dodgeball once a week whilst his younger brother stays home (that is the evening my DH finishes early).

On the other two evenings we do a mixture of playing/led activities, that I get out before the school run. Making cards for birthday parties, painting ceramics, aqua beads, Lego challenges, paper puppets are all some of the stuff we’ve tried. We are having a Halloween party for a couple of their friends, so in a couple of weeks making party decorations and Halloween cards will be an easy option for us.

I also let them watch TV whilst I cook dinner every single day, and I don’t feel at all guilty about it!!

I did as you did and switched to 5 short days. I'm very glad I did. For reception year, I played it by ear a lot; and that was one of the massive positives of being able to pick up myself; I could decide there and then what dd was up for. Sometimes it was go home and veg; sometimes it was a play date; sometimes the park: sometimes a wander to town for an ice cream; sometimes swimming. Both my girls were pretty tired after school reception year. Then, as the years have gone by, they're less knackered by school and we've upped the extra curricular to doing sport of one kind or another after school every day. Again, I think the girls have been very lucky to be able to have lots of opportunities to trial different sports.

I think kids do far too much. They have had a full day at school and then are expected to do activities until late in the evening.
My son needed down time after school. He liked drawing painting and playing.
My sisters kids do activities every day except Sunday and are often bad tempered and exhausted.

Baking / painting if I'm feeling particularly enthusiastic (which is almost never with a 3yo involved)
Errands like dentist / hair cuts
Long baths!

Same age gap here. I kept to 3 full days at work so only had 2 days of pick up. We did swimming one day and kept the other free for park, play date, other ad hoc plans or just chilling at home. In terms of activities, it usually suits the older one and the younger one watches with you (swimming) or it's a drop off (rainbows). The main thing for me was staying local so somewhere a walk or short (5-10 mins max) drive away.

Personally I would do 1 or 2 activities a week to give the week some structure.

Do you ever just play together ? Teddies or figures or board games, or do some craft/making/baking, or just do colouring together. Or like the pp suggested play in the garden, make a pretend obstacle course or just run around with torches.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that we are losing the ability to spend time having fun with our kids.

Paid for and planned after school activities for very young ones are just a bad idea, because there will be too many days your child just refuses to go because they're too tired.

Can't your children play and do activities in their rooms or just in the house while you do what you need to do?
Where is your DH? Does he pull his weight,?

You sound quite stressed about the idea of spending time with your DC in the house. Is there more to it?

Why can't you just play with them? DS always wanted to play schools when he came home

You will soon have the joy of homework, enjoy it while you don't

I'm not working at the moment - have taken a year off unpaid due to ill health. 9and 5 yo. They don't do any after school clubs, instead they do sport and piano lessons at the weekend.

We get home 3.45pm and they have some TV with a snack whilst I sort their lunchboxes, check bookbags etc.
4.30 - 5.30 I try to do something with them eg today we made a papier mache volcano for DD's homework.
5.30-6.30 Making dinner, they lay the table and empty dishwasher
6.30 - eat dinner,clear up
7pm- baths, youngest reads to me, brush teeth etc then bed
8pm- as above for eldest
8.30pm- I sit down.

One day a week we go to the park or local zoo (we have membership) before coming home. One day a week we meet friends at their house or they come to us. On Friday nights sometimes DD and I go swimming while DH puts DS to bed. Occasionally we meet friends for soft play or a pottery painting place but not often.

My older dc have piano lessons once a week. All the other days they do their homework/piano practice then play while I get tea. Then after tea it's bedtime for the little ones while dh watches star trek with the older ones.

My DC (reception and year 4) both do out of school gymnastics one day and swimming lessons another.

Other days we do reading & homework, playing and watching TV before bath & bed.

It depends on your DC. Mine need a lot of downtime and don't want to do structured activities after school. Other kids love them. As long as they are active during the week I don't think it matters. Sometimes we play in the garden on the trampoline or go out on bikes after school.