What the hell do you do with kids after school?

[TheMessyCleaner]

Dd started school today and I have also changed my work hours from 3 long days to five short days so I can pick her up from school every day. I made that decision on a sunny afternoon when we both had the afternoon to spend in the park and a picnic. The reality has now hit me that I now have to work every fucking day and it's going to rain for seven fucking months straight.
I feel like my whole routine has gone up the spout. I also have DS (3) who now has to put up with being in childcare more (only a day as dp has one day off in the week.) When I asked my friends what they did they reeled off a long list of expensive after-school activities which will only be suitable for dd and not ds and also involve driving all over the city after I've just spent all day behind a desk.
Option B is that I take them home and let the m watch hours of Octonaughts before bed. In the summer it will be so much easier but right now I just feel I've made a huge mistake and should have just chosen a school with an afterschool club.
Help!

It’s the adjustment to 5 days that’s the real kicker, and it is harder after school when they’re small and tired - it doesn’t feel like quality time in the way that a couple of days at home with preschoolers does. However, it is really valuable for the DC if you can do it. But I agree with other posters, don’t schedule yourself too much. For one thing it makes it hard to schedule everything when DC2 wants to start doing activities if DC1 is already committed to stuff.

Baking, cooking tea together, reading, watching some TV, playing with toys, crafts, maybe swimming if you can be bothered (which I definitely wouldn’t want to after a day’s work and with a tired 5 year old and a 3 year old!) or the park.

I would put an exercise video on, that would benefit you and the kids join in

We don't do a lot. One day a week eldest has swimming, but that's not until just after tea. They are 5 & 7, we play, usually they get the Lego out, we do their school reading books and spellings, we watch a little tv sometimes, they play in the garden, they colour and draw. Basically we relax and wind down after a busy day at school. My youngest likes to help me make tea. Then tea, bath or shower and bed. Very simple really, but enough. They are tired enough as it is after school, a bunch of clubs would exhaust them.

Bath time was my favourite play time ❤️ loved the bubbles, boats etc

Nothing in reception year.

Hone, snack, get changed, activity, dinner, tea, bath, reading & bed.

Year 1 upwards, maybe swimming and some other activity during the week but save time for inviting their friends for tea as they love bringing a friend home after school!

But do not plan and organise every spare minute- tv / switching off time is valuable and important after a hectic day of learning and conforming.

I have always had mine in childcare 2 evenings per week, but, I have 2 people in my house who always need a plan so understand where you are coming from.
Something like this could work?
3:35 arrive home. Shoes off, coats hung up. Cuppa tea for mum, snack for children (yoghurt, fruit, bread sticks). Then, play outside if not blowing a gale. Take washing off line if needed.
If inside -
Mondays and Wednesday, mum reads to us. Tuesdays we have music and dancing, Thursdays, we entertain ourselves. Fridays we get the paint out. 4.45 mum starts cooking. Choices are help, do playdoh, or entertain yourself. 5.30 eat tea. Then bath, colouring, reading, bed.
I always had a couple of activities up my sleeve when mine were little. Often they did something else, but having a plan kept me calm.
I find evenings with my children easier than picking them up from the childminder!

@Alb1 Where did I say I hated that time?

15 years of it becomes a bit monotonous, but I think I said I wouldn't change a minute of it. If I could swap lives with anyone, I'd swap lives with myself when my DC were that age. It was the best thing I've ever done, by a gazillion miles. But that's just me.

My general points were that it's ok to do nothing after school; that's it's arguably easier to do nothing if you're at home with small children all the time; and that we are all trying to do the best for our families.

Do nothing! There’s no way I would make my child go to an activity after school when they are in the early years, they are so SO shattered. School is really hard for them. My littlest is Y1 and she can barely drag her feet up the stairs when we get home. Get them in Pj’s and chill time. And bonus you can pick up the little one in nursery early!

Agree, when they are so young it is nice to just go home and play it by ear. No need to enlist them in a constant round of activities.

I don’t find there’s a lot of time after school. Home, chill, eat, clean up. baths, homework and a bit of chill time before bed.

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. We always go to the park unless its tipping it down, other wise our routine is:

3.25 collect dc1 from school, walk to nursery.
3.45 collect dc2 from nursery, walk to bus stop
4.15 get home, dcs change into home clothes and play with their toys or do drawing/colouring while I get dinner ready.
5.00 have dinner then watch tv
6.00 shower, teeth and into pjs, playing in bedroom and bedtime story for youngest.
6.45 dc2 goes to bed, dc1 sits on the sofa and reads while I tidy up downstairs.
7.15 dc1 goes to bed.

On days we go to the park it ends up a mad rush to get home and have dinner before bedtime, so I'm in no rush to add after school activities to the mix.

@AtseneGatnalp you didn’t, that’s why I said I hadn’t been referring to you like I said, I was referring to the person that stated that they hated that time between school and bed. And of course it’s boring or challenging at times etc, we all find that I’m sure, and I’m finding it interesting reading what other parents do. But my point was just hating that time is sad.

We don't have a car after school but but have after school activities in walking distance two day out of five. The others we paint/ bake/ play in garden/ watch a bit of Telly/ the kids play together or we have a friend over sometimes for tea ( school friends) or just to play ( kids over the road). It'll be easier when your D's is a bit older and they have more shared interests.

Once again, not suggesting you hadn’t said that, I hadn’t even read your original post... literally nothing about you

Take them home and let them play! We don't do activities. Maybe once a week it's ok, but I defo wouldn't have the energy or budget to do something every night. A bit of TV is fine as well.

Same here except I've managed to only do 4 days so I still get my fridays! Did feel a bit hard done by having to go into the office today though! Also have a 2yo.

I'm definitely gonna go to the park if it's not raining/dark. Otherwise I probably won't bother with an activity as such. Will probably just chill at home tv, drawing, cooking etc. Then bath, stories, bed.

I only have the one but since reception he has done 1 or 2 after school clubs and a swimming lesson once a week, it depends on what is on offer, if he does 2 after school clubs, one is a sport and the other one has normally been something like cookery or arts.

However that was when we lived much closer to the school, now we have a fairly long walk, he has dropped down to just the swimming, and I will be lead by him on what he wants to do, which at the moment, seems to be something on a Saturday

Sympathies op I find this time hard. However I have switched between different work arrangements and actually you will get a lot out of picking them up every day when they are so young.

Even when I found it hard (I work longer days now) I learnt a lot about their feelings about school and their friendships by being there every day at pick up. It was insightful.

So. I think go for real relaxed play. If they need a run around I have had fun going to park in twilight they found it really funny being out in the dark.

Once a week have tea in a cafe with drawing things and books.

Have their friends over ...I did this a lot ....let them just play with the Lego or make dens.

School is exhausting for little ones. As others said absolutely no need for clubs and activities unless they want to.

I get where you are coming from but I think you will look Back and be glad you experienced it. .

Ok. Thanks. @Alb1

Do you have friends you could do a play date swap so that you get one afternoon a week where you don't have them

My dd is a little older (8yrs), but I don’t feel the need to entertain her every minute of the day. Monday’s and wednesday’s she has an after school club, but the other days she’s left to her own devices whilst I cook dinner. She plays / watches Tv/chats to me about her day etc.... Kids need down time after school imo. They are incredibly busy all day, and it’s nice to have a rest and just spend time together, doing not very much sometimes!
I was never entertained by my Mum after school, but she was there for me to talk to, which was what I needed after a full on day at school.
Sometimes we walk the dogs after dinner, and sometimes she has a friend to play. We never really go to an activity together on a school day...that is for the weekends / holidays.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself op. You don’t have to entertain 24/7. Just enjoy some down time together.

My dd has a couple of after school clubs, home work followed by chores then she gets her down time she loves to help me cook meals

I'm in your exact situation apart from that I only have the one child - my daughter has just started reception and I've gone back to work five short days, 8-2 so my husband drops her off and I pick her up.

We will have ballet one day and swimming lesson one day after school. She adored her preschool ballet class and was adamant she wanted to keep going. The other three days we'll try to see her friends who go to different schools, visit the library, just veg in front of the telly/watch a film, do baking, maybe practice going out on her bike when the weather is ok, doing her reading (the only homework they get in reception but she's a bookworm anyway), she can play by herself while I do jobs like laundry, cooking etc. Occasionally I might take her to a coffee shop for a hot chocolate which is one of the greatest joys of her life. In spring we'll potter around the garden/plant stuff. But apart from her two activities we'll just play it by ear depending on how she feels at the time.

• I don’t know, I guess you can just be a parent and spend time with children.

I know people that can’t have kids and would love to have your, “problem” 🙄*

I guarantee that even those who have gone through years of ivf and have hadmuracke babies go through phases of parenting they don't enjoy much. Everyone does. It's normal. Perhaps un-hoik the judgy pants a notch.

Op, at that age a bit of afterschool reading/spellings/baking/CBeebies and you're golden. It's unwind time.

Wow, all these after school schedules. DD 6 has 1 activity a week and after school club 1 day. The other three she gets home at 3.30, puts PJs on, has a snack and er....flops infront of the telly. That's it! She's exhausted.

Love all these
3.47 get play doh out
4.09 have a cup of tea
4.27 Iron Hama beads