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Original poster

What the hell do you do with kids after school?

129 replies

TheMessyCleaner · 09/09/2019 18:56

Dd started school today and I have also changed my work hours from 3 long days to five short days so I can pick her up from school every day. I made that decision on a sunny afternoon when we both had the afternoon to spend in the park and a picnic. The reality has now hit me that I now have to work every fucking day and it's going to rain for seven fucking months straight.
I feel like my whole routine has gone up the spout. I also have DS (3) who now has to put up with being in childcare more (only a day as dp has one day off in the week.) When I asked my friends what they did they reeled off a long list of expensive after-school activities which will only be suitable for dd and not ds and also involve driving all over the city after I've just spent all day behind a desk.
Option B is that I take them home and let the m watch hours of Octonaughts before bed. In the summer it will be so much easier but right now I just feel I've made a huge mistake and should have just chosen a school with an afterschool club.
Help!

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 09/09/2019 21:02

hadmuracke????

Had miracle Confused

Josephinebettany · 09/09/2019 21:03

What's wrong with just bringing your children home and letting them play outside if it's dry or inside if it's wet. My children play for hours. I don't understand why yours can't. And they'll love having you home and playing with them some of the time.

ArtisanPopcorn · 09/09/2019 21:09

Does anyone else have a child who wasn't totally exhausted in reception? I feel like people probably think my DD(5) (yr 1 now) does far too many activities but she never seems knackered.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/09/2019 21:10

TheMessyCleaner do you always go out on your non-work days, do you not have time at home playing?

PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/09/2019 21:12

Ds 5 has after school twice a week til 4.We have a routine of:
Snack as soon as he gets in then
Tv/playtime
Dinner around 5.30pm when dh comes home
Bath
Bed around 7pm

We rarely go out after school ds gets tired after the busy school day and needs downtime.In fact we all do!.

Timandra · 09/09/2019 21:12

Of course he could shower the night before. Anyone could.

It might take a bit of getting his head around if it's been his routine for a long time but nobody needs to shower in the morning.

Northernsoullover · 09/09/2019 21:26

I'm not afraid to admit that I hated trying to fill the hours after school in winter (I already did upthread) all activities such as baking, swimming etc were off the cards for my two. I didn't know it at the time but they have ASD.
It was bloody hard. I don't hate my children for goodness sake!

FrivolousPancake · 09/09/2019 21:28

I’ve use fine the opposite swap to you -swapped five short days for three long ones and I’m so much happier, have much better routine, enjoy my time with DD much more not to mention my two mornings to myself a week!

I’d see if you can change it back!

BalanchineBallet · 09/09/2019 21:29

@ArtisanPopcorn mine! From reception has had three after school activities, and done a physical sport pretty much every night as well....

dowehaveastalker · 09/09/2019 21:30

Why is it raining for 7 months straight?? Confused

dowehaveastalker · 09/09/2019 21:31

To answer your question - dd gets home, does some homework and reading. Then plays with her little brother until dinner (5pm) - 6-7pm we are reading and winding down. 7pm bedtime.

INeedNewShoes · 09/09/2019 21:37

DD is only at nursery but I feel like she gets social interaction overload at nursery and benefits from some quiet time at home where she doesn't have to spend time with other kids and can potter doing her own thing.

I know older kids who seem to enjoy just playing quietly at home after school sometimes as well.

I'd be aiming for time outside for walks/playing in the park when the weather isn't dismal which it really won't be for 7 solid months, then time pottering at home on crap weather days and the occasional visit to a cafe or something.

I will be holding off the after-school activities frenzy as long as possible!

BalanchineBallet · 09/09/2019 21:37

@giggleshizz

No set times here, except we are busy so there is a timeframe if that makes sense.

Rainbows is 5-6.30, so there’s time to ride before if she gets straight on after school.

Swimming is 5.30, so again, time to ride one before.

Gymnastics is 5-6.30 but she finds this exhausting, so we don’t always ride that day.

BlackeyedGruesome · 09/09/2019 21:45

September is conkering...

The rest of the time will be reading and homework and spellings.

DownstairsMixUp · 09/09/2019 21:50

Not much tbh. Fridays my eldest goes cubs. Tuesdays and Wednesdays they go to after school club. The other days it's just home work and dinner some telly. Occasionally we will go for a meal out

Runningsmooth · 09/09/2019 21:50

Park, a gymnastics class, playdates, play in garden, play in house, homeworks, drawing, reading, library, town, walk the dog. There is never enough time to fit everything in. You'll find the afternoons fly by once you get into the swing of them.

ruralcat · 09/09/2019 21:53

My dd does 3 after school clubs a week, I don't work so to some it seems unnecessary but she really enjoys it. The other two days we just come home, have a snack, look at her book or homework etc then dinner and the usual bedtime routine.

MrsTeaspoon · 09/09/2019 21:56

This sounds so peculiar to me - after school, kids: play with play dough/slime/clay etc, paint, play with Lego/Sulvanian families/small world things, go to park, bake, do colouring, read, play with Hama beads/playmobil, help weed garden and potter, go for a walk along river and feed ducks. Sometimes watch TV of very tired.
For Reception/Y1 I do one ‘activity’ during week as very tired - everything else is all the above with younger siblings around or joining in.

Doyoureallyneedtoask · 09/09/2019 21:59

Last year I arranged activities every evening after school, sometimes two. The kids were exhausted. I was exhausted from driving them around and waiting endlessly. We ate rushed meals, we did the minimum homework and the children were tired every morning. This year, despite many objections from the children, I have reduced the activities. The children complained because they don't know anything other than rushing around but I feel so much less stressed. We can take our time over homework. The children get downtime. They will learn to amuse themselves without every activity being structured.

The other thing I've realised (in hindsight) is that it is all well scheduling activities for every weekday and weekend mornings but when the child reaches six or seven, the sports teams ask for a bigger commitment and one afternoon a week is no longer enough if they want to be in a team. This means that another activity has to give anyway. Save your money, wait to see what the child's real interests are and go from there.

I'm not a lover of our climate or dark evenings but getting stuck in heavy traffic in the dark while ferrying children around needlessly is not something I love either. I'm quite looking forward this year to doing a couple of things during the weekdays and otherwise coming home, cooking meals that don't have to be a maximum of 40 minutes from fridge to plate, lighting the fire and relaxing while the children practice their music and do their homework.

Proseccoinamug · 09/09/2019 22:02

Potter about, play with their toys, have play dates, they help you cook and tidy, normal life stuff, run errands, go to the library? Play in the garden if it’s sunny?

MrsKoala · 09/09/2019 22:03

I hate having all 3 of my children at once Alb. I don’t think it’s sad to say, it’s just a fact. I love being with each of them individually (preferably in the mornings) but together they are awful at the moment. Just a phase/ages etc. But after school is horrible. No one plays. They refuse to go out. They refuse to walk. The middle one lays on the floor actually screaming most of the time. They refuse to bath. Read. Craft. Make. Do puzzles. Eat. Sleep. Ds2 sobbing with exhaustion and begging for milk. Punching each other to just keep themselves going. It’s endurance.

ilovepixie · 09/09/2019 22:03

Why do you need to do things with kids all the time! What wrong with just letting them play and be a kid! They don't need to be entertained and be busy every minute of the day!

Doyoureallyneedtoask · 09/09/2019 22:07

But my point was just hating that time is sad.

It depends on the child. Mine have very different personalities. One is great at playing and amusing themselves. One is a nightmare. Every five minutes, they want to do something different. It is very random and usually involves a lot of clean and tidy up from me afterwards. I really look forward to that child going to bed!

mummyrocks1 · 09/09/2019 22:07

A couple of after school clubs outside of school, cafe, play dates, home to play, do homework, cook dinner, tv, bed.

In the summer we might go to the park.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2019 22:13

I get 4 yo DS from Reception at 3.15 and we walk home so he can hug trees. Home by 4.

Get him a snack and let him watch CBEEBIES.
Have some cuddle time if he's feeling tired.

Bath on a couple of the nights.
Homework some of the nights
Reading some of the nights
We also have jigsaws, puzzles etc.
Play in the sink with whatever toys he decides to wash

Dinner

Chill, play with Daddy, last bit of telly

Bed routine starts at 7

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