What the hell do you do with kids after school?

[TheMessyCleaner]

Dd started school today and I have also changed my work hours from 3 long days to five short days so I can pick her up from school every day. I made that decision on a sunny afternoon when we both had the afternoon to spend in the park and a picnic. The reality has now hit me that I now have to work every fucking day and it's going to rain for seven fucking months straight.
I feel like my whole routine has gone up the spout. I also have DS (3) who now has to put up with being in childcare more (only a day as dp has one day off in the week.) When I asked my friends what they did they reeled off a long list of expensive after-school activities which will only be suitable for dd and not ds and also involve driving all over the city after I've just spent all day behind a desk.
Option B is that I take them home and let the m watch hours of Octonaughts before bed. In the summer it will be so much easier but right now I just feel I've made a huge mistake and should have just chosen a school with an afterschool club.
Help!

I find the after school time awful. Mine just fight and watch screens till bed (which is 9.30-11pm)

Do homework, watch TV and have dinner then bed.

They shouldn't need entertaining 5 days a week!

What did you do after school when you were young? I remember watching Philip schofield in the broom cupboard every day!

At reception age we got home, read for a bit, played, bit of TV, dinner, bath, bed, apart from one night a week when she went to Rainbows (£30 a term, so quite cheap)

As she got bigger she started doing after school clubs 2 nights a week, which are free at our school, but to be honest in reception she would have been too tired and grumpy.

Depends on ages.

Come home, toilet, get snack, change clothes, then;

Dry weather = playing in the garden,(all sorts of things/games) walk to the park, down by the river to feed ducks, walk to the shops for ice cream (warm weather) when they’re older play out front with friends and later homework/projects.

Wet weather= Lego, play dough, magic sand, painting, dressing up, imaginary play, drawing, bit of TV/tablet. When older a bit more screens, playing in own rooms, reading, sometimes take them swimming or to cinema.

Could you do 4 longer days and 2 short days at work and have a day off? That’s what I did when DC were little. They had 2 afternoons with a childminder which they loved and 3 with me. And I got time to myself one day a week. Win win win!

Oops I mean 2 long days and 2 short days and a day off 😂

You can do errands in that after school time too, OP.

This week we will be watching tv. My youngest who is now year 1 does swimming and rainbows in the week. Both relatively cheap. She could live without it tbh!

My eldest in year 8 obv has hw so she might stay in while we do something. We used to like to walk to Mac Donald's for hot chocolate but we've moved now so will have to find another hot choc haunt!

Sometimes we go to a local pond place and do welly walking in the pond and feed the ducks.

Sometimes we go to the park.

Sometimes she just plays in the garden.

As long as they get to wind down it's not really an issue.

None of our activities are weather dependent, if it's raining we go anyway!!

But yeah this week is for tv as I'm back at work too and we all need to adjust lol

@Alb1

Can’t believe the posters who ‘hate’ the hours between school and bed, you only have to spend like 4-5 hours a day with your child and you hate it, poor kids

Oh, like, come on.

I spent 15 years at home with children before they all went to school, and wouldn't change a single minute of that. They were my reason to get up. They were my reason to exist. My entire existence revolved around my small children. So don't bother with all the 'poor kids' stuff.

Bear in mind that an awful lot of people with children Reception have probably also been up since 6 (or earlier) with babies/toddlers, so have already been on duty for 8 hours by the time the Reception child needs to be collected. And they are facing another 3-4 hours of it, assuming all of their DC go to bed quietly at a decent time (mine did, on the grounds that I had seen so much of them during the day that I really, really didn't need to see them at night unless they were ill).

Nobody should be criticising anyone here.

I don’t know, I guess you can just be a parent and spend time with children.

I know people that can’t have kids and would love to have your, “problem” 🙄

My favoured activity is to let them play Roblox while I drink tea and watch The Chase. Unfortunately swimming, karate and athletics messes that plan up more often than not.

My eldest has swimming and cubs and my daughter has dance and will go to rainbows soon. That’s it and to be honest that’s more than enough, they’re tired enough without loads of activities plus my eldest has gone learning to do and by the time tea, showers and a bit of tv time it’s time for bed. This works for now but when I go back to working full time we’ll have to remove everything again.

Lots of parents would love to be in your position and not have to use after-school clubs. Make the most of it- read, play, go to the park, watch tv, bake, go swimming, chat, paint, draw, do crafts, have a friend for tea etc. etc.

I know people that can’t have kids and would love to have your, “problem"

This is really unnecessary and total nonsense.

You could say that in response to every post on here which is asking for parenting advice.

My DS (5) got back from school today and got his Biff, Chip and Kipper books out and sat down and read me three of them voluntarily. He had a swimming lesson at 5.30, which we were early for, so he did his number blocks magazine. On Wednesdays he has beavers from 6-7.

After school clubs and activities, or structured learning activities, are the way forward here.

Everything closes at 3?? Where do you live???

When little, they played with toys, watched TV, ate and were generally exhausted. Swimming lessons from age 4.
Beavers from age 6.

Now they range from age 8 to 14. Scouting and swim lessons all round. Church youth club for the older ones. (One does another sport, one has a instrumental lesson, one spends a lot of time at friend's house)

Homework.

But to be honest, they still prefer to crash in front of the telly and eat me out of house and home. They are perfectly happy not doing much.

You don't need to plan anything. None of your children in infants do any after school activities. They are happy to come home, unwind, do Home work, dinner, play and bed. They really enjoy having time at home and not doing after school club

I was in your boat. I find that time between school and dinner quite a weird one. I also prefer doing longer days but needs must and I switched to school hours.

Mine are older so now have clubs to go to and it's mayhem making dinner and getting them where they need to be. But on the down days I don't put any pressure on to do anything at all, to be honest. A bit of drawing or helping prepare dinner is usually fun. If you're not keen on screens how about screens but with educational (but fun) apps.

You'd be surprised how much kids don't care about the weather either, they will still want to get out.

First term, we just played at home and rode when the light was enough.

In Y1 now, 5yr old DD does swimming one night, rainbows another, gymnastics a third night, and rides at least one of the ponies each night. On the two nights she doesn’t have a scheduled activity, we compete or train the horses.

Depends 100% on your child’s personality. Most of my friends kids want to “chill out” after school. Mine however needs to run wild. He must have an hour or two physical activity but without needing the focus of learning a new skill. There was no way I was going to run about a playground or field in the pitch dark all winter 3pm-5pm every day so I put him into a very “free outdoors play” three days a week after school club and I work till 5 those days.

@AtseneGatnalp I’m one of those people with a reception child and a toddler etc, I’m still perfectly entitled to my opinion that hating that time with your children is sad. It wasn’t even at the OP or you, so I don’t really get how your love for your kids is relevant to my post of course people find it tiring/ boring etc, but to say you actually HATE that time is sad

Play/draw/craft with your child for an hour, sort tea and eat it (an hour) child can watch TV then when your busy in kitchen, play/watch tv/home work (buy in work books to do together), Bath, book and bed x

Realistically it's probably only 3 hours.

Factor into that 2 kids bathing.
Dinner.
Reading book.

That only leaves an hour or so.

Swimming lessons can be done after school or join rainbows.

In some ways working 5 days will become easier because you'll have the same routine every day. Rather than 3 longer days and then 2 days where you're free but all knackered anyway!

I think today has just been a shock weather wise for us all. Having had a wet summer it does feel worse when it's also colder and darker.

@museumum glad it’s not just mine! She’s always been able to do a good few hours physical activity after school. She sleeps much better and eats better for it.