What the hell do you do with kids after school?

[TheMessyCleaner]

Dd started school today and I have also changed my work hours from 3 long days to five short days so I can pick her up from school every day. I made that decision on a sunny afternoon when we both had the afternoon to spend in the park and a picnic. The reality has now hit me that I now have to work every fucking day and it's going to rain for seven fucking months straight.
I feel like my whole routine has gone up the spout. I also have DS (3) who now has to put up with being in childcare more (only a day as dp has one day off in the week.) When I asked my friends what they did they reeled off a long list of expensive after-school activities which will only be suitable for dd and not ds and also involve driving all over the city after I've just spent all day behind a desk.
Option B is that I take them home and let the m watch hours of Octonaughts before bed. In the summer it will be so much easier but right now I just feel I've made a huge mistake and should have just chosen a school with an afterschool club.
Help!

My DDs used to just play after school. Inside or outside, depending on the weather. Occasionally TV and occasionally go to friends or have friends found for tea.

They'd help me make tea, lay the table etc, do any homework, and by the time we'd eaten after all that it was time for bath and bed.

I recall DD being absolutely shattered the first term of Reception. An easy afternoon with stories, a bit of baking or a game, tea, bath and bed.

Then she gradually started to ask about after school clubs. I think it was just Rainbows at first. She dipped in and out of ballet, gym, music lessons over the next few years.

And the occasional play date. No more than one a week.

Hairdresser appointments, dentist, opticians.

Park. Trip to the post office. Library visits. Conker collecting. The occasional project from school (building a cereal-packet chair for the 3 bears), making costumes out of boxes.

My DD was absolutely exhausted when she started school.. in fact, prior she had done ballet in the afternoons but we stopped it as she just couldn't cope.

She's in year four now and she does brownies once a week. That's plenty imo.

We usually get home, watch TV/play, have dinner, bath and read.

I used to go to Sainsbury's . I used to hate those hours between school and bedtime in the winter.

After school? Time flies by in no time! DD is 5 and in year 1.

3.30 Get home. Change into something comfy/shower.
4 ish CBBies for a bit
4.30 Look at the reading book from school. Or word sheet or whatever.
5.00 Dinner
5.30 Bit more telly or a bit of time playing.
6.00 bedtime.

On Fridays she has her swimming lesson (and then McD's)and when we get back at 6 it's straight into shower and bed.

We did activities 2 or 3 afternoons a week (swimming for ages, ballet, drama, gymnastics, Brownies). None that far away (we’re in London). Play dates, playground in park, cafe near school, chilling out at home. I loved my afternoons with DD - but I did just have the one.

Erm talk to them, play a game. Do homework.

I’d hold off the expensive activities at this point. There’s plenty of time in the future for that, especially the driving around bit! Just do whatever you’d normally do when they’re at home. Park, play, draw, etc.

Mine are 5 (year 1) and 4 (reception), I also have an 8 month old baby.
We do a couple of activities (local gymnastics club on a Monday, 5 year old also does rainbows) but mainly just pottering. They play with their toys, do drawing/colouring, read some books, they help with the cooking etc. Nothing majorly exciting.
We have a park on the way home and often stop there for 15 mins on the way home if it’s not raining.

The nice things about picking up every day is that it's easier for you to chat to other mums at the school gate, arrange play dates etc. That's something which is much harder if you work full time.

Don't worry if your DC just want to veg out after school. You can use that time to catch up on the housework (assuming you used to do some of it on your non working days). Don't feel guilty if that happens - she'll be tired starting reception and needs chill out time at home. One or maybe two after school activities is fine for a little one.

Following for ideas - my DC is only in school nursery which finishes at 11:30 and I'm on maternity leave with a 6 month old as well. The afternoons are long!

Do the same things you do at weekend? Read, draw, iPads/computer, bikes or scooters, baking if you're brave. Mine only have one club each a week, and one of them is free at school, other than that we are together in the house but sometimes doing our own thing. Don't feel pressured to keep them busy when they're out of school, they need a rest too I think. It gets a bit stressful ferrying them around to clubs and if they're tired, what do they really get out of it? Get the colouring books out when it's raining😁

They have been really busy all day, doing what they are told, being controlled, learning.
I let mine totally relax and do what they want. After couple hours... Hw, reading etc

Oh and they play in the garden quite a lot.

Er, just let them play?
Make dinner together
Occasional park trip or playdate.
Oh I used to "employ" a teenager from down the road to hang out with them once per week - that was actually genius and helped his mum out too

There were no after school clubs in Reception at our school, they don’t let them start until Y1. I work school hours and did when DD started school. She did swimming after school one night and once she turned 5 she joined Rainbows and that was on another week night. The rest of the time she was with me. If your school is like ours your DD will soon get reading books sent home so there will be that to do during the week. The rest of the time she just played or did drawing/colouring, took the dogs for a walk with me, watched TV after dinner etc.

I was a SAHM when mine were at school (now older). We used to do absolutely nothing at all after school when they were little. By the time we'd walked home, there was time for pottering, drawing, etc, then children's tea, bath and bed. But it was just part of the daily grind routine. Once DC1 started school, I had other little ones at home, so 'after school' wasn't anything special (though the routine of having to collect DC1 filled up some time usefully every day). We didn't do anything special - no activities or anything. There weren't Ipads or phones then, and we didn't have a TV. I took them to play with school friends every now and then, if they were local enough (lots weren't), which we all enjoyed.

In your situation, OP, I think I might have been tempted to work three full days (would never have imagined saying this when I was a SAHM to little ones, but giving up my job turned out to be a mistake!) That way, you can catch up with some stuff on your two days off, and collect the DC on those days. I know it's nice to be there to collect them, and SAHMs were the norm at my DC's junior schools (so I'd have felt a bit out of it if I hadn't been there at pick-up every day) - but you do just need to do what works best for you and your family.

My final thought is that this kind of 'non' time is, I think, much easier if you're used to being with your DC 100 percent of the time. I was with mine to that extent, and there's only so much entertainment you can provide. Especially by the time 3.30 rolls around.

There will be activities one or the other wants to do as they grow older, but there's nothing wrong with Octonauts and a chance for you to have a cup of tea in peace!

Tv, crafting, rainbows, swimming, more tv

Can you go back to 3 days?

After Christmas DD was able to entertain after school activities. We otherwise played, baked, worked on phonics and reading, did play dates, went to the library, went shopping and stayed for a coffee and cake.

With being home at 3.30pm and dinner at 6.30-7pm time flies.

Ds (5) does activities 4 evenings a week (And Saturday mornings). Some of them just need a registration fee at the start and then a tiny weekly fee so I don't find it too expensive weekly. While he is at his activities I either watch with the baby or bring him for a walk.
Other than that we visit family. It's rare that we spend a day at home without leaving the house. When at home I help him practice writing, He does some colouring, reading, some sport and tv, iPad and xbox.
He has a huge amount of energy and no one close to his age to play with sonthisnis what works for us

Thanks everyone, obviously I love spending time with my dc's but I'm used to having them all to myself on a day off so we can wake up leisurely, think of where we want to go for the day and stay out till 6-7pm. It's very different picking up my dd at 3pm when she's knackered and everything is about to shut.
I made this decision through necessity really as dd's school is a Steiner school so definitely no after school or breakfast club. I couldn't find affordable after school childcare in my area! Plus there's all the emphasis on how tired they are in reception and I thought it would be nice for her to come home to her own house.
Downside is that I have less time for errands and feel like I'm working more when it's actually the same hours as before! Oh and i have to find five days of childcare in the holidays! Lucky that my job is quite flexible.

Can’t believe the posters who ‘hate’ the hours between school and bed, you only have to spend like 4-5 hours a day with your child and you hate it, poor kids

My son started last week too and he’s too tired to want to do anything at the min so we’ve just enjoyed relaxing at home together on the days it’s rained. Once it’s properly winter I imagine we will do more baking, maybe swimming etc, I do have a 2 year old aswell though so we are generally kept busier in play regardless

Can you go back to 3 days?