I find people's needs for updates uncomfortable

[fallacy]

You know when posters hound an OP for updates days after the original post? It's so weird, like they're there, waiting and salivating for more gossip under the guise of 'being worried [they're] ok'.

Aibu?

I agree with you.

Phew at least one person doesn't think I'm a crazy!

Yup agreed.

I agree. It’s people’s lives, not a soap opera.

fallacy, do you still feel the same?

Oh come on, large areas of this site run on being over-invested in strangers' lives. Altruism is way back.

But I AM worried about the lady with the crazy stalker colleague.

Cos we are nosey

fallacy, do you still feel the same?

About what? I appreciate updates if it's a thread I'm interested in but I would never post asking for one! It's sad

They could be a bit more subtle about it, for sure!

I know what you mean but sometimes it can be like only hearing half of a story. I love a happy ending so like to know how things turned out in the end.

I agree. I also find it annoying when people post ‘place marking’ with an amusing emoticon instead of just watching the thread.

About what?

I presume they mean about the need to update threads. Have your views now changed after some excellent points?

The worst one is someone posting a heartbreaking OP and posters then just post a full stop to place mark.

I'm normally of quite mild opinion but that always strikes me as really cunty behaviour

The only one I kept looking at for an update (didn't ask though) was the lady who fell down the stairs, where her family didn't seem bothered at all and MN was advising she go to the hospital.
Never found out but really do hope she is okay.
This one post has stayed in my mind.

I hate it when people start saying "OP has ditched us!" when it's about 15 minutes since the first post.

People have no concept of other people living their lives. Many people post and then forget or get caught up in general life. It's not personal...

Update please, OP.

I'm normally of quite mild opinion but that always strikes me as really cunty behaviour

^ This. It's one of my biggest annoyances and it's always the same posters that do it. Too fucking lazy to bookmark the thread and watch quietly, and completely unbothered about how an OP will feel to see a full stop as the entirety of a post because they couldn't be bothered to even type a single sentence out.

I agree

It encourages jackanory trolls with made up stories of cfs etc, i also think it encourages ppl who start off genuine to embellish things

When it’s a poster posting about something serious it’s not helpful either. I’ve seen women living under very difficult circs like abusive or cheating partner etc get loads of support but the flip side of that is that the second they may feel unable to take all the LTB DUCKS IN A ROW YOU GO GIRL advice right that very second the thread turns on them completely and it becomes about berating them for having no self respect etc when the reality of people’s lives is it can take months, years even, for people who are struggling to get into a position where they feel strong enough to help themselves.

Real life doesn’t happen in a handy thread sized time scale. Baddies don’t always get punished, there isn’t always a cathartic showdown, situations drag on and on and there’s no point at which you can go cut, let’s end on this bit, that’s the happy ending, because real life isn’t like that. A lot of people on here seem to get it confused with tv drama. It’s not helpful.

prime example up there is @funmummy48’s post at 8.37

It’s not a story (well actually lots of threads are imo, but they shouldn’t be 😜) it’s someone’s life, and life is hugely complicated. People don’t owe you a ‘i threw all his clothes out of the window and set them on fire and all the neighbours came out of their houses and applauded’ grand exciting finish. Life is mainly messy, boring and anti climactic so it stands to reason that most threads that aren’t total made up billy bullshit will be too.

MrsA2015 I am worried about the lady who woke up with chest pain. I hope she’s spoken to a doctor.

"The worst one is someone posting a heartbreaking OP and posters then just post a full stop to place mark."

Never used it myself, but I always understood this to be meant as a mark of respect in forums rather than someone place marking. This is the only thing I can find online about it though:
faq.metafilter.com/4/What-does-a-single-period-in-a-comment-by-itself-mean

Never used it myself, but I always understood this to be meant as a mark of respect in forums rather than someone place marking.

No way. It’s blatant place marking.

I think we've been conditioned by TV to 'expect' a story arc and resolution. When we only get half a story - when a poster disappears and leaves people dangling, it goes against what we have come to think of as a narrative.

Mumsnet isn't TV, It isn't carefully scripted stories with characters who grow and change and a nice pat ending. Sometimes life happens and posters can't get back to read their threads.

It is bloody difficult though, when you've become emotionally invested and want to know whether the OP sorted their situation (aka listened to, and took, your carefully handcrafted advice).