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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel very alone?

74 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 08/09/2019 21:51

I'm facing a lot of work stress and threat of unemployment, worried about a hospital appointment this week and have a chronic bowel disease.
I feel like by the end of this week things will be even worse and I am very scared.
I have nobody to speak to and feel I have to put a brave face on all the time.
Aibu to feel alone and scared? I am terrified things could get a lot worse.

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 08/09/2019 22:03

Oh my lovely, of course you are not being unreasonable to feel like this. When things are awful, its normal to feel afraid that they will get worse. Is there anyone who can be with you after the hospital appointment? Have you got friends or family?

If you are in the Beds / Bucks / Oxon / Northants area, i'll meet you for a coffee and a chat.

LittleMy20 · 08/09/2019 22:07

I’m so sorry you are going through this terrible time, it must be so hard for you. Don’t feel you have to put on a brave face , let people know you need their support.

FredaFrogspawn · 08/09/2019 22:08

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this too. Do you have any friend or family member you can at least talk to? And keep posting here - people will ‘ listen’ to you.

Stoic123 · 08/09/2019 22:09

Hi Op.
First of all - a big hug.
Sounds like you have a heck of a lot on your plate and it is wearing you down. I live on my own and Sunday nights can feel lonely - maybe it’s the thought of going back to work, maybe it’s the night we imagine families snuggled up in front of the TV or just that the weekend hasn’t met expectations.
I know it’s easy to say but try not to fret about things you can’t influence (unemployment threat etc)- you will know soon enough either way. You don’t have to put on a brave face all the time- it is surprising how supportive people you don’t know that well (colleagues, acquaintances etc) can be. Do you have any family or friends you can speak to?

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 08/09/2019 22:10

I am not in any of those areas but I very much appreciate your kind words, especially when I am feeling so low. I have no friends which bother with me anymore or who would get back to me if I got in touch saying I am feeling awful. My family play down my condition and don't understand.
I feel so alone.

OP posts:
Snowfalling · 08/09/2019 22:17

Op, sending you hugs and strength and a handhold. I'm so sorry you're going through this on your own. Please keep talking to us on here, we will respond. I'm thinking of you, as I'm sure those who have posted on here will also.

Believe me, many of us feel alone, or have done, as you do right now. Of course yanbu.

SanguinePenguin · 08/09/2019 22:25

I'm sure there would be help groups or something for the chronic bowel disease? Seriously though...even if you don't believe....start to go to a church xx

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 08/09/2019 22:29

I do belong to some self help groups but they just terrify me more. A lot of people there seem to fail all meds and end up living their illness.

I really appreciate the replies. It does help. I know nobody knows me in person but just knowing someone out there cares enough to write on this thread means a lot.

OP posts:
ssd · 08/09/2019 22:30

I'm so sorry op, that sounds very difficult. It might be worth posting whereabouts you are to see if someone is near you

pickleface · 08/09/2019 22:35

Oh Op I can totally empathise. Up for sharing some reciprocal friendship and coffee if you're South Manchester way x

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 08/09/2019 22:47

I don't want to be a burden on anyone. These kind replies are more than I hoped for.

OP posts:
Pussysgalore · 08/09/2019 22:53

Hi op, I have a chronic bowel disease to (crohns) feel free to send me a private message if you want to moan/talk/rant, anything like that. I know the feeling of having no one to turn to, my friends turned out not to be the friends I thought they were... and non of them made any effort to understand my disease. Anyway, you won't be a burden to me if you need an online friend Smile xxxx

merryhouse · 08/09/2019 23:14

I echo Sanguine Penguin. It sounds very cynical - just going to church to get some help - but honestly, that's exactly what the midweek outreach groups are expecting.

I mean, I'm not pretending it will be perfect - church people are human, and some of us them won't know how to respond to stories of illness just like your family - but I can guarantee that your local groups would rather you turned up than not.

ssd · 08/09/2019 23:23

I'm not a believer but I went to a church group once and the people were so friendly and welcoming.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 09/09/2019 07:34

I might consider it. The pain of feeling this loneliness is awful.

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 09/09/2019 11:00

Morning ice,
So sorry you are going through this dark time right now.
Could you ask one of the hospitals volunteer ward buddies to attend your appointment with you?
Is a job loss imminent and definitely happening?
Would a pen pal help? And I'm sure there are online sites for making friendships.
This time will eventually pass and life improve,sometimes it's just taking life an hour at a time and living in the now.we can't later the past and tomorrow hasn't arrived yet so live step by step and take pleasure in the small things,bright,sunny crisp autumnal day,a bonfire,a comedy to make you laugh .just smiling,not for a brave face,but a genuine smile,will have people smiling back and even chatting to you.Flowers

Mistlewoeandwhine · 09/09/2019 11:03

I think you should see your GP for your anxiety. Also, could you plan to do two social things a week eg aerobics class and book club? I have terrible anxiety and I find that two things help: exhausting myself with exercise and distraction activities eg reading, funny movies and going out to things. Hugs xxxx

eladen · 09/09/2019 17:15

Hope today hasn't been too bad for you. Is there anything kind you can do for yourself this evening? Favourite film maybe?

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 09/09/2019 17:54

Thank you. Sorry if I am being annoying. Truth be told, these replies are helping me through at the moment.
I will put on on film, might be a good distraction.

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 09/09/2019 19:23

You're not annoying! We're here to support each other! What film are you going to watch?

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 09/09/2019 20:02

Thank you. That is very kind.
Not sure about the film yet, needs to be an uplifting one though

OP posts:
Catsandchardonnay · 09/09/2019 20:20

Please don’t think you’re annoying, you’re not at all. Sounds like you’re very down on yourself. I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad. Have a virtual hand hold and Flowers

Stoic123 · 09/09/2019 22:54

Hi OP. Just touching base to say hope you enjoyed your film this evening. Keep posting - folks are listening in.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 09/09/2019 23:13

Thank you. It means a lot to be thought of

OP posts:
FredaFrogspawn · 10/09/2019 11:12

How are you feeling today, @iceandaslice123 ?