Hi. I am also someone with IBD. I know all too well how isolating and lonely it can be, and how scary tests at the hospital can be. It is particularly bad if you are flaring and worried about leaving the house and not finding a toilet in time.
I wish I could wave a magic wand op and make it all go away, for you and everyone else with these diseases. But I can't.
I find that reading support group forums and blogs can help me at least feel less alone. My husband disagrees but he does not have ibd. It is impossible for anyone who does not have it to understand. Others on the forums know. I find that comforting.
Are you eating ok? If I am flaring I try to get food in that I know I can tolerate. This for me means eggs, soups, a nice soft bread, bananas etc. Not eating will make you feel worse. I also sometimes have plain pasta with a bit of butter and Parmesan.
Try to get enough rest. Fatigue is huge in IBD. I really struggle with it. If you can't sleep, just rest. It is better than nothing.
I know what you mean about thinking the worst. But the test you are having could also mean more or new treatment. I also know what it is like to just become completely fed up with doctors etc., not because they are bad, but because they can't fix me. Being the drug guinea pig is not what anyone would call fun. That's what it feels like sometimes.
Also, the sheer chronic persistence of these diseases is exhausting. You start to feel like a chronic complainer, and, yes, a burden. Try not to think that way.
There is some IBD humor out there that only ibd'ers will laugh at. You might want to check it out.
https://www.healthline.com/health/crohns-disease/quotes#7
Hugs.