AIBU about DD15 behaviour should I say something to best friend

[pixie45]

Today I went cinema with DD15, best friend, her DD19 & her boyfriend who came last min.

Before they came DD15 said to me she didn’t want to sit with best friends DD19/her boyfriend I said to her this is how seating arrangement are - basically when we do go cinema DD15/Best Friends DD19 always sit in front together & this has never been a issue before everyone including DD15 were happy with this.

Anyway once they came my DD15 said in front of my best friend I’m sitting at the back with you I don’t want to sit next to them I said to her no this is the seating arrangements like always. Again DD15 said no I’m not sitting at the front I don’t want to I’m sitting next to you at the back, again I said no, at this point my best friend looked on in disbelief then she walked off to her DD19/boyfriend which I was very embarrassed about I did tell DD15 off though.

When we were walking into cinema my best friend said to me don’t she want to sit next to my daughter cos her boyfriend is here I said don’t worry about it but I was very embarrassed. When we went into the cinema my DD15 pulled a face at having to sit next to them.

Was I being unreasonable to not let DD15 sit next to me? Should I say anything to my best friend?

This whole thing is bizarre, the only thing I can be completely sure of is that you were totally unreasonable.

It makes some sense I think if OP and her "best friend" wanted to spend the film snogging at the back and that's why the arrangement of the others being in front was so important, still unreasonable though.

Once seats were booked someone Saturday next to me in their paid seat DD15 would of had to move back to her seat anyway

No, she wouldn't have had to. She could have sat with you whilst your friend sat with her daughter and boyfriend, or you could have sat with your friend and your daughter in front whilst the other two sat behind.

Have you asked your daughter what the issue was?

So you booked three seats in a row, and two seats in a row?

Couldn't the couple take the two, and you, your DD and your friend take the 3?

Well yes. That seems simple and logical to me.
I really can't see why there was a load of hassle in the cinema - it all sounds authoritarian and overblown tbh.

Or DD19 mum could’ve sat with her and BF and OP and DD15 sat together

What a fuss - and telling her off? Really?

Why was it so important to you that you sat next to your friend? You were in the cinema not a wedding breakfast

What i cant understand the seats were prebooked but friends dd boyfriend decided to come along last min. So how did that work out

It makes some sense I think if OP and her "best friend" wanted to spend the film snogging at the back and that's why the arrangement of the others being in front was so important, still unreasonable though

Crikey Tonnerre, have you got a brother called Mycroft?

Newsflash! 15 year olds change their minds.
Poor girl, you sound crackers op

I wondered that @Anonmummyoftwo !

Another one here wondering if you asked your daughter WHY she didn't want to sit with them??

Anonmummyoftwo Sun 08-Sep-19 23:31:51
What i cant understand the seats were prebooked but friends dd boyfriend decided to come along last min. So how did that work out

yep

Wow. Yabvvvu your DD told you privately she was uncomfortable sitting with them, she had to repeat herself in front of your friend, again for the couple yet you still made her to sit there.
Listen to your DD no need to question her on reasons why, it is obvious.
Put her feeling first not your best friend feelings.

You basically put your social embarrassment at being forced to not stick to the ridiculous pre-booked seating arrangement before your DD's feelings. By asking to move seats she was telling you how uncomfortable she was feeling, but you refused a simple seat swap because you cared more about what the reactions of your friend and her daughter and boyfriend. Way to go to have your DD's back, OP.

Like everyone else I think YABU.

Also like everyone else, can't understand why you didn't just let the dd19 and bf sit in the 2 seats at the back and you 3 in front.

Also annoying you won't say what the daughter's issue was. Maybe she thought it would be fine but the couple spent the whole time before the film snogging and feeling eachother up. Who knows. But it wasn't a big deal to let her sit with you.

Jeez. You sound like a control freak.

This story is so not worthy of a thread.

YADBU!

As pp said you, DD and friend in the three seats, couple behind. I have a 15 yo DD and can't imagine showing the poor girl up by insisting she sit where she didn't want to, she probably felt awkward next to a couple. The look your friend gave was probably how you handled it.
I also find it really odd, don't know why, that a grown woman of 40 odd (?) keeps repeating 'best friend', why don't you just say friend?

You really should apologise to DD.
I cant imagine it after teaching my DD for years I will always have her back, teaching her to listen to her instincts and never feel she has to do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable, explaining no means no.
Your DD felt uncomfortable asked you repeatedly yet your worried about your best friend's feelings.

You have a really odd way of thinking if you didn't even think you could all swap around.

Omg CALM DOWN EVERYONE! OP I do think you should let your daughter sit where she wants but obviously if there were seat numbers on the tickets there wasn’t much you could do. If like you said you asked her where she wanted to sit when booking the tickets and she said she wanted to sit with the other girl and her boyfriend then I don’t think you did anything wrong. Awkward that she changed her mind at the last minute and don’t see what PPs think you should have done - let your DD take someone else’s seat so she could sit next to you? Think a lot of PPs are being hilariously melodramatic and outrageously rude to you for no real reason about this. The reactions on this post are ridiculous and acting like OP has done something truly awful to her daughter! It’s just MN bullying mob mentality which seems to have really taken off recently - if a few people are too harsh then it seems like it inspires loads of others to be horribly harsh too and the poor OP is just ruthlessly attacked and called names for no good reason. Very sad to see people treating each other like this.

You should definitely say something to your best friend. You should say "I apologise for making a scene at the cinema rather than just moving to the front row to make my 15 year old feel comfortable and making a whole issue about her not wanting to sit with a couple. I was a jerk."
Then go and apologise to your daughter because she may have said she wanted to sit with them originally originally but then something happened to make her feel uncomfortable and she didn't want to, rather than being proud of her for telling you made her feel awkward. Let's hope that next time she feels uncomfortable she doesn't just go along with it because she's worried you'll make a scene.

This is one of the oddest thing I’ve ever read on here! She is 15, I would let her sit wherever the hell she liked. Why does she have to sit somewhere specific? I have never had a discussion with anyone prior to the cinema about who sits where. It’s very strange that you didn’t want your daughter sitting next to you.

Omg CALM DOWN EVERYONE!

And you think everyone else on this thread is being "hilariously melodramatic and outrageously rude for no real reason" ?

This is one of the oddest threads.

This is super odd. She can sit where she wants. You should really apologise to her for making a huge deal out of nothing and for embarrassing her in front of others!