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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about DD15 behaviour should I say something to best friend

164 replies

pixie45 · 08/09/2019 21:02

Today I went cinema with DD15, best friend, her DD19 & her boyfriend who came last min.

Before they came DD15 said to me she didn’t want to sit with best friends DD19/her boyfriend I said to her this is how seating arrangement are - basically when we do go cinema DD15/Best Friends DD19 always sit in front together & this has never been a issue before everyone including DD15 were happy with this.

Anyway once they came my DD15 said in front of my best friend I’m sitting at the back with you I don’t want to sit next to them I said to her no this is the seating arrangements like always. Again DD15 said no I’m not sitting at the front I don’t want to I’m sitting next to you at the back, again I said no, at this point my best friend looked on in disbelief then she walked off to her DD19/boyfriend which I was very embarrassed about I did tell DD15 off though.

When we were walking into cinema my best friend said to me don’t she want to sit next to my daughter cos her boyfriend is here I said don’t worry about it but I was very embarrassed. When we went into the cinema my DD15 pulled a face at having to sit next to them.

Was I being unreasonable to not let DD15 sit next to me? Should I say anything to my best friend?

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 08/09/2019 21:14

Yes, sounds like you are being very unreasonable, and very odd.

Why do you have such a stringent seating "arrangement" anyway? And why could your daughter not sit next to you if she wanted to? Could you not take a guess that she didn't want to be sitting next to a couple and feeling like a third wheel? Confused

You've made a non-event into a big drama and I have no idea why. I think you sound very peculiar.

DareOrTruth · 08/09/2019 21:15

Reading back your DD even told you beforehand that she didn’t want to sit there before they arrived,

Why would you not ask her then why not?
Confused

I genuinely hope that you apologise to her.

NameChange84 · 08/09/2019 21:16

Gosh this sounds like an odd set up. At 15 your daughter should have been allowed to sit wherever the hell she pleased. I can’t think of anyone who’d rather play gooseberry to a couple than sit elsewhere when the option is there.

Blahblahblahnanana · 08/09/2019 21:16

YABVU!

Breathlessness · 08/09/2019 21:17

Your DD is fine, you’re being weird.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/09/2019 21:18

Are you the 15yo?

Deadringer · 08/09/2019 21:19

Your friend looked at you in disbelief, you were very embarrassed? Weird.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 08/09/2019 21:19

Why would you always have the same seating plan?

bionicnemonic · 08/09/2019 21:19

I think you may store up problems. Your DD needs you to back her up sometimes. You didn’t respect her wishes. I feel really uncomfortable for her. She told you how she felt and you ignored that. Do you think if she has something she needs to confide in you she may think twice

Original poster
pixie45 · 08/09/2019 21:23

Before tickets were booked I told DD15 that best friends DD19 was coming with her boyfriend and she said yes that’s fine I also told her about seating she said yes that’s fine I don’t mind sitting next to them

As I said it was DD15 and best friends DD19 who decided on seating plans NOT me

OP posts:
user1471449295 · 08/09/2019 21:24

You are very odd OP. Your poor daughter.

Millie2016 · 08/09/2019 21:27

I would have let her sit next to me if she wanted to. I don’t understand why you forced the issue.
YABU.

DareOrTruth · 08/09/2019 21:27

Then OP you ask her why she’s changed her mind and deal with it there and then.

You don’t ignore her and then tell her off.

Original poster
pixie45 · 08/09/2019 21:29

As I said DD15 decided with best friends DD19 they wanted to sit in front of me/best friend we never made that decision they did.

Also DD15 was very happy with the seating arrangements before I booked online and knew where she would be sitting and also wanted to sit in front of me/best friend plus cinema has allocated seats and someone sat next to me in their allocated seats and she would of had to of moved back in front anyway.

Once again my daughter was happy and knew about the seats before hand and wanted to sit in front with them I never forced her too

OP posts:
EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 08/09/2019 21:29

I don’t get what the big deal is?! Seating arrangements? People just sit where they like, it’s not set in stone!

Very weird indeed!

RedRec · 08/09/2019 21:30

You need to catch yourself on and apologise to your daughter for YOUR behaviour.

gingerbiscuits · 08/09/2019 21:31

What the hell?? I don't blame your daughter for not wanting to sit next to a much older teenage couple like a spare part. How deeply uncomfy for her. Why on earth did you make such a fuss?? And not only forcing her to sit there but making her apologise?? Why?? Your friend sounds a bit of a dick too, to have 'looked on in disgust'. Your poor daughter. Why couldn't she sit by you? Why have you got such an odd seating arrangement that you always abide by in the 1st place?? Huge fuss about nothing- hope the film was worth the embarrassment & unhappiness of your daughter.

jomaIone · 08/09/2019 21:33

I see that the seats were booked so not easy to change them but you definitely could have dealt with it much better then you did.

user1493494961 · 08/09/2019 21:33

Echoing everyone else. Your should have listened to your DD and respected her wishes, you were beyond unreasonable.

Original poster
pixie45 · 08/09/2019 21:33

I did not make my daughter apologise

OP posts:
DannyWallace · 08/09/2019 21:33

Why does it matter that she wanted a different seating arrangement?
It's not as if she was leaving the 19 year old by herself!
Maybe she felt more awkward than she thought she would when she saw them together. Maybe she became shy. Maybe she got the impression they were going to ignore her. Or maybe she just wanted to sit with her mum.

You sound mean!

gingerbiscuits · 08/09/2019 21:34

Sorry - you didn't say you made her apologise- I misread that part.

Dirtyjellycat · 08/09/2019 21:35

Mumsnet is full of ridiculous threads tonight 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
pixie45 · 08/09/2019 21:35

Seats were booked online I told my daughter her daughters boyfriend would be coming she was happy to sit in front with them she had a choice not to I asked her she said I don’t mind sitting in front I never forced her to sit there - also it was girls decision to sit this way seats were allocated and someone was sitting next to me

Think next time I book us all in a line

OP posts:
womaninthedark · 08/09/2019 21:36

You sound absolutely horrible. Please have more thought for your DD in future.