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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pass the parcel etiquette

119 replies

Anappleaday1 · 07/09/2019 19:55

It's my dd's 4th birthday party tomorrow and I'm just getting pass the parcel ready. I always thought that the birthday boy/girl won the final present, but went to a party recently and this wasn't the case. AIBU if dd wins the prize? There is something small in each layer so all children will get something. I'm not precious about her getting it, she will receive plenty of presents after all, just wondering what the normal etiquette is?!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 07/09/2019 19:56

Of course they don't!
What an odd thing to suggest.

MyCatDrinksFlatWhites · 07/09/2019 19:56

I could be wrong but I thought etiquette was that every child gets something from a layer, but the birthday boy/girl doesn’t get the prize - that goes to one of the guests. That’s how we did it, anyway! (But maybe I have no sense of etiquette...Grin)

Gruntvsgunt · 07/09/2019 19:57

Agree with PP birthday child doesn’t get the gift

CodenameVillanelle · 07/09/2019 19:57

The birthday child must NOT get the main prize. Watch to make sure that every child opens a layer then when it gets to the last layer make sure it's not DD. What an embarrassment for the parent to engineer their child to get the main present! How gauche that would be

Qwerty19 · 07/09/2019 19:57

Birthday child doesn't get the prize.

PyjamasForever · 07/09/2019 19:57

I also thought every child got something in a layer and then one of the guests won the prize. I've never seen the birthday child win the prize.

dammit88 · 07/09/2019 19:58

Yes the opposite! Birthday child mustn’t get it!

Bramblespoint · 07/09/2019 19:58

Never heard of that! And think it's a bit off birthday child will get loads of presents.

I've always done enough layers for each child and then monitored do each child has a turn. Last layer is random you turn your back so you can't see who it stops on!

MyCatDrinksFlatWhites · 07/09/2019 19:58

By the way, be prepared for an awful lot of prompting - we did this at DS’s fourth and, granted, some of the guests were younger, but it took one to do the music and the other to supervise the passing! But they all enjoyed it and I think it’s a good game for that age.

Clangus00 · 07/09/2019 19:58

No I definitely wouldn’t have the birthday child winning. In fact I would actively rig it so they don’t. They’re getting enough presents at the party.

Celebelly · 07/09/2019 19:58

Oh gosh no, birthday girl or boy has plenty of other gifts! It was always another child at my parties (of course you don't realise it's all being engineered at that age Grin).

Sunshine93 · 07/09/2019 19:59

Yes it's exactly the opposite. You make sure your child doesn't get the prize.

ChristmasFluff · 07/09/2019 19:59

Normal etiquette in my social group was that every child got a chance to unwrap a layer, and so a little present; and then the person doing the stopping of the music looked away and randomly stopped - so it could be any child that got the 'main' present.

But it was never a particularly big present to win anyway (bouncy ball set, face paints or something). The whole thing was more about the game and the unwrapping than the final present

DancingintheSpoonlight · 07/09/2019 19:59

Different child. Usually the birthday child is getting presents from others any way!

Soubriquet · 07/09/2019 19:59

Birthday children never win if you can help it!

I always have a layer for each child, supervise so every child opens a layer, and then turn round and close my eyes.

One year my dd won on her own birthday and I felt a bit embarrassed

Michaelbaubles · 07/09/2019 19:59

Birthday child does not win. Sweets in each layer and rig it so everyone gets one each. If more layers than children, choose the ones you like best to get more than one turn! Wrap the final one in a different paper in case you lose count.

ShinyMe · 07/09/2019 20:01

I have never ever seen the birthday child win the parcel. My mum used to specifically make sure I did not win it at my parties.

Dandelion1993 · 07/09/2019 20:01

The birthday child never wins a game at their party.

They get enough presents without the prizes.

Spacerader · 07/09/2019 20:03

One go for each child.

A nice idea then is to maybe get the birthday child to help you stop the music for the winning prize. But they def don’t get the prize

Leeds2 · 07/09/2019 20:03

Another one saying that I have never seen the birthday child win the main prize!

Clammyclam · 07/09/2019 20:05

What?
Why would the birthday child win?
What's the point of the game if it's a given the BDC wins?

ErrolTheDragon · 07/09/2019 20:05

If you're going to give anyone more than one turn or rig the final prize recipient, if there's a kid who's looking shy or unhappy (it's not uncommon for small children to be ill at ease at parties), then pick them, fgs don't indulge in favouritism.

A nice idea then is to maybe get the birthday child to help you stop the music for the winning prize. *
That's a brilliant was to randomise it but not get the birthday kid.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 07/09/2019 20:05

Birthday child wins nothing....ever.

The kids know the rules. They know they all get to open a layer each. Last layer is random, but not Birthday child. Thems the rules.

Notthisnotthat · 07/09/2019 20:05

I've never seen the Birthday child getting the gift. A wee treat between each layer so the attendees get one and then the prize at the end.

myself2020 · 07/09/2019 20:05

no idea, but i got asked by the entertainer if i would want the price to go to the birthdaychild, so it seems to be a thing. i declined though.