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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pass the parcel etiquette

119 replies

Anappleaday1 · 07/09/2019 19:55

It's my dd's 4th birthday party tomorrow and I'm just getting pass the parcel ready. I always thought that the birthday boy/girl won the final present, but went to a party recently and this wasn't the case. AIBU if dd wins the prize? There is something small in each layer so all children will get something. I'm not precious about her getting it, she will receive plenty of presents after all, just wondering what the normal etiquette is?!

OP posts:

sue51 · 07/09/2019 20:20

Birthday child never wins and each child gets a turn to rip of a layer of paper.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/09/2019 20:24

I always rigged it so that every child unwrapped one layer each with the last being one of the guests and the prize. In our circles each layer had to contain sweets.

S1naidSucks · 07/09/2019 20:26

What happens if the birthday child just happens to pass it as you stop the music? That’ll be fun! 😁

SirVixofVixHall · 07/09/2019 20:27

Noooooo ! The whole point is that the birthday child does not get the gift, and if you are playing it old school, where the person turning the music off can’t see the children, then if the birthday child wins they pass the parcel on.
I have been to parties and cringed inwardly when the birthday child has won, gloated, and the others look daggers at her.
We only had one present as children, none of this present in every layer stuff. It upped the excitement I think.

Booboostwo · 07/09/2019 20:33

I make sure every child opens one layer and gets one small present and then turn my back. One year during DS’s party DD won the main prize and I felt really bad, but it was just luck.

lyralalala · 07/09/2019 20:38

The handy thing about doing the prize in one layer and having a bucket of layer prizes is that if other games take longer (or shorter) you can easily adapt games.

I planned two rounds of pass the parcel at DS’s party last week, but they had an absolute riot playing musical chairs so switched to two rounds of that.

Plus it saves wrapping the parcel (and the inadvertent ripping of two layers)

separatebeds · 07/09/2019 20:45

present or sweets in each layer for everyone and final prize NOT to birthday child.

kedy · 07/09/2019 20:51

oh...im not a brit and didnt know about this piece of etiquette. have been to one where the bday kid got the main gift, and has done the same for my kid ever since...what must the other mums think of me!!! :(

CAK111512 · 07/09/2019 20:54

Every party I’ve been to the birthday child does not get the main gift but I don’t think it really matters!

Mummymummums · 07/09/2019 20:57

When my DC we're young they went to a party and there were two rounds of pass the parcel and birthday Boy won both
I thought it seemed wrong.

Notabadger · 07/09/2019 20:58

Thank you for this thread. Played pass the parcel at two 3rd birthday parties this summer and my ds won the middle prize both times- I was embarrassed as thought it should have gone to the birthday child! Not sure why I thought that. I can relax now!

TildaTurnip · 07/09/2019 21:00

Pass the parcel is the worst game at parties. It’s boring for most of the time as s participant.

INeedToThrowItAllOut · 07/09/2019 21:03

When I was very little it was just one prize in the middle with nothing between the layers.

When I was a bit older (at the end of my time of going to these sort of parties & seeing younger siblings) people had started to add a sweet or something super tiny between odd layers. Still not the case that every layer had something and the layer inserts were tiny things.

The notion that there should be a prize in every layer is so snowflake generation.

wanderings · 07/09/2019 21:09

Very sensible to make sure the birthday child doesn't win the prize, I agree with that. Pass the parcel is easy to control who wins, but out of curiosity, how do you do it with a game such as pin the tail? Do you spin the birthday child more than the others?

rocknrolly · 07/09/2019 21:16

What everyone else is saying x

SaintWillibald · 07/09/2019 21:21

Birthday child does not get the prize.

A cautionary tale: When was my son had his 4th b’day party, I jokingly called across to my husband, who was doing the Pass The Parcel “Make sure DS wins!”. He took me at my word and my embarrassment knew no bounds

Yabbers · 07/09/2019 21:22

Pass the parcel is the worst game at parties. It’s boring for most of the time as s participant.

Not at all. It was always DDs favourite game and other kids seem to love it. It’s unwrapping something and seeing what’s there. What’s not to love. The thousands of unboxing videos on You Tube which would suggest adults love that too.

73Sunglasslover · 07/09/2019 21:24

Birthday child is the one person who should never win - they have enough already!

Yabbers · 07/09/2019 21:24

The notion that there should be a prize in every layer is so snowflake generation.

Oh bugger off. So a kid gets a sweetie and is out of the game, so what? It’s hardly an Olympic medal contest.

Sewrainbow · 07/09/2019 21:26

Guest gets prize.

TildaTurnip · 07/09/2019 21:26

It’s unwrapping something and seeing what’s there

Yes that’s boring for many! Another layer of paper is not often a thrill. It’s so passive.

SciFiScream · 07/09/2019 21:34

When I were a lass...

No gifts between the layers! The prize was ripping the paper off and the excitement of wondering if you had won...

Definitely not the birthday child that wins. They've probably received lots of gifts so shouldn't win.

burninglikefire · 07/09/2019 21:35

Also, I wouldn't make the prize something that is too desirable - I used to use something like a fun container of Matey bubble bath as a prize. That way the child who won was pleased, but the others didn't mind not winning.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/09/2019 21:37

It's not a present in each layer it's literally just a wrapped sweet. Snowflake generation
Oh no @kedy sorry but they were judging you. Especially if you did it more than once!

Upanddownandroundagain · 07/09/2019 21:41

I think we should all agree between us to stop the music with our eyes closed so we can stop all this now and make our lives easier. Make it completely random.

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